Dear Herbie the Elf, I feel as though it’s time we had a talk. I’ve been very unhappy for a very long time and I bet that if you were honest with yourself, you’d admit that you have known for a while that things were not right between us. I’m sure that you’ve noticed that […]
Dear Publix: Thanks For Making College Parents Ugly Cry At The Holidays
The holidays are upon us and many of us are waiting anxiously for our college kids to barge in the front door yelling, “I’m home!” And, for those of us who sent our first kids off to college this fall, it can feel like an eternity as we count down the days to having all […]
Did You Move The Elf On The Shelf? 11 Last Minute Ideas To Save Your Ass
Let’s just get something clear: I hate The Elf on The Shelf. There, I said it. And yes, we all know that I love channeling Martha Stewart at the holidays and I’ve been known to bake thousands of Christmas cookies from November to December but that doesn’t mean I have willingly participated in this Elf […]
The Year I Didn’t Make Christmas Cookies
I’m pretty sure I married Hubby just to get his mother’s Christmas cookie recipes. I’m kidding. Mostly. When I attended a Christmas Eve gathering at his mother’s house the first year we were dating, my eyes nearly bugged out of my head when I saw her Christmas cookie trays. Gorgeous confections iced to perfection, her […]
In Defense of Christmas (It’s Not About The Red Cup)
A few years, I realized there was a NYT best selling fiction author living in my town. I KNOW, RIGHT? I almost lost my mind when I realized that Kate Moretti was a mother and a writer just like me and I immediately decided that I had to meet her. Not in a stalkery, creepy, […]
7 People From Hell We All Meet During The Holidays
The holidays are HERE. We are in the trenches. We are hall decking. We are cookie baking. We are loading our eggnogs with massive quantities of booze. With every shot of spiced rum, we are bracing ourselves, steeling ourselves against the inevitable. Because on top of the present wrapping, the light stringing and the carol […]
The Day The Lights Went Out On Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving is a big deal around here. Huge. I plan for months. MONTHS, I tell you. I scour Pinterest for the perfect recipes and I painstakingly keep my meticulous lists from year to year to make sure my menus are varied. I write notes to myself about what appetizers went over well, which dishes had […]
9 Halloween Costume Ideas That Are Scary Good (and Easy, too!)
As most GenXers will tell you, Halloween as we know it today was a lot different when we were kids. A LOT different. The candy choices were limited to products made by Hershey and Mars, we were able to roam neighborhood after neighborhood without parents tracking us via phone apps and everyone collected money for Unicef […]
Chocolate And Champagne Led To The Most Embarrassing Holiday Party Of My Life
Let’s face it: we all know by now that I like to have a good time. I might have even paid my college roommates large quantities of money to keep their traps shut about our escapades and I thank GAWD every day that Facebook didn’t exist when I was a coed. Frankly, between you and me, I […]
December 26th Is My Favorite Day Of The Year And I’m Not at All Sorry
Dear December 25th, I feel as though it’s time we had a talk. I’ve been very unhappy for a very long time and I bet that if you were honest with yourself, you’d admit that you have known for a while that things were not right between us. I’m sure that you’ve noticed that I’ve […]
An Adult Ruined Christmas For My Daughter And I’m Still Angry
I don’t write about religion. Because religion. But I’m going to today. Sort of. Not in a preachy way. Not in a argumentative way. No preaching, no prosthelyzing, no snakes. Religion is part of the story but it’s not THE story. So, if you are of a religious conviction different than mine, I respect you. […]
Victoria, Keep Your Secrets
It’s that time of year when spouses far and wide search the far recesses of the interwebs to find the exact right gift to put under the tree. The gift that says “In the day to day trenches, it’s you I want by my side”. The gift that says, “I heard what you said six […]
How To Bake A Mince Pie Without Losing Your Marbles
Thanksgiving is my favorite. I love the smells. I love the parades. I love the gathering of family to hearth and home for the annual display of familial dysfunction and inebriation. And I love the pie. Oh, how I loves me the pie. Pumpkin pie, how do I love thee? Let me count the creamy […]
It’s Not You, It’s Me
Dear December 25th, I feel as though it’s time we had a talk. I’ve been very unhappy for a very long time and I bet that if you were honest with yourself, you’d admit that you have known for a while that things were not right between us. I’m sure that you’ve noticed that I’ve […]
The Year We Hosted Thanksgiving In The Garage. With A Frozen Turkey.
When Hubby and I were young and stupid (read: poor and stupid), we used to day dream about having big family holidays in the new home we didn’t yet own. Visions of snowy windows, crackling fireplaces and family with rosy cheeks at our door used to dance in our heads. We used to get positively […]
No One Tells You That You Have To Do A Lot of Lying As A Mom
I have a secret. You might be shocked and appalled. You might stop following my blog or leave my Facebook page as a result of what I’m about to divulge. Here goes: I. AM. A. LIAR. Yep. You read this correctly. I lie all day long and during the holiday season, it’s at it’s worst. […]