The Keeper Has Scary News

The Keeper has scary news, bitchachos.

Big SCARY news.

But, before I divulge my big news, I’m going to give you a little background information to set the stage, if I may.

When I started this blog in March 2013, I’ve often said that I had very low expectations.  I was encouraged by a friend to start putting my thoughts to the keyboard and to send them out into the big black hole of the interwebs.  When I hit “publish” on my first post, “The Day I Got Arrested At Preschool” on that bitter cold day in March, I genuinely thought three people would read the post:  me, my mom and my BFF.  And Hubby, if I forced him.  I had no idea that by taking a leap of faith and putting myself out there, my life would change, almost overnight.

After about five months of blogging, Jen Mann further changed the course of my writing trajectory by inviting me to be in her second humor anthology, “I Just Want To Be Alone”.  In the span of 24 hours, I was suddenly rubbing shoulders with thirty nine of the biggest names in blogging, my writing sandwiched between chapters written by women bloggers I’d followed for years.  I learned from them, they opened doors for me, and my status as a blogger was upped just by being associated with the book.  I don’t want to say I was an overnight success because, really, that’s a total lie.  But, I gained a loyal following (this means YOU, dear Fruit Loop Grouper) and my mind was blown that people wanted to regularly read the crazy thoughts in my head.

Enter Scary Mommy.

The holy grail of mom blogging websites.  The pinnacle.  The success story that every blogger chases since Jill Smokler cornered the market on real life mom blogging.  She started her blog on a message board ten years ago and has built her company into a multimillion dollar company.  her email subscriber list has something like TWO MILLION SUBSCRIBERS.  That’s like most of Houston, TX, people.  Let that sink in.  Jill owns the internet.

And, Jill graciously gave me a chance in May of 2014.  One of my pieces, “Ten Things ‘They’ Won’t Tell You But I Will” was republished on Scary Mommy’s site and, as a result, I gained 1000 new followers in twelve hours.  I was humbled and honored to have my work featured and, again, blown away that people continued to respond to my writing.

For the last two years, I have diligently sat at this computer and pecked out my rantings, thoughts, musings and ridiculousness and have continued to be amazed at how much fun I have with my fans.  We laugh on Facebook, I tweet badly with them on Twitter, we comment to each other here and, sometimes, I get to meet them in person and that is my FAVORITE part of my blogging adventure.  I also can’t believe that some websites pay me actual, real money to write my thoughts.  Seriously, I never dreamed three years ago that I’d be making an actual living off of my words.

But I am.  And that BLOWS MY MIND.

And here’s where it gets SCARY exciting:  you guys, I GOT HIRED TO WORK FOR SCARY MOMMY.  AND CLUB MID.

HIRED.

I have a title and everything:  STAFF WRITER.

As in:  I’m on the staff of Scary Mommy.

ERMAGHERD!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am living a dream come true:  I get to write every day, get paid for it and still play around here on my blog.

SOMEONE PINCH ME NOW.

So, go check out some of the pieces I am writing for Scary Mommy:

If you are in the mood for some 80s nostalgia, might I suggest How ’80s Movies Can Help Us Parent Our Teens And Tweens? Or Sweet Valley High, Forty and Fabulous?

Or, are you in the mood for a little political piece?  Try I’m Married To My Political Opposite on for size.

If you want something that will pull at your heartstrings, I have that covered, too:  Being Present for The Lasts and I Know What’s Coming For My Friend and It Sucks will make you misty.

But, for all the writing I’m doing at my new J-O-B, don’t worry:  I won’t leave you guys hanging here in our little cereal bowl.  I’m still going to be posting here just like always….because this is where it all started.

And also, I still have a corner office with a window here at Keeper Of The Fruit Loops Headquarters and I’m not ready to give that up.  Those are hard to come by, people.