Keeper of The Fruit Loops

The Keeper and Nomad Mom

August 26, 2014

Since I started my blogging journey in March 2013, I’ve “met” many amazing people.  People who support my writing.  People who laugh at my jokes.  People who tell me they want to eat cereal when they hear the name of my blog.

Lots and lots of people.

But, there are a handful of new friends that stand out and who have become part of my blogging “being”.  Women who have reached out to me to say, “Hey, I’m new at this, too, let’s make ourselves awesome together!” and have helped me in ways I can never repay.  Women I turn to almost daily to say things like “Uh, I think I broke my blog” and “SQUEEE!  They liked my post!” and “Those asshats rejected my submission…” and “Remind me why I write again??”.  Women who understand what it’s like to try to get your writing noticed.

Lynn Morrison of The Nomad Mom Diary is one of those women.

Back in February, I received an IM in Facebook from the lovely Lynn that said something to the effect of:  “OMG I got into I Just Want To Be Alone, too, and I’m not worthy and I had to send you a friend request because I suspect you are crapping your pants like I am”.  Her newbie excitement practically oozed from the emoticons she used and I started grinning immediately.   As SOON as I read her message, I knew we’d be lifelong friends.  I mean, she completely and utterly UNDERSTOOD what it’s like to be a new kid on the blog and have an amazing opportunity present itself.  And total bonus:  she lives across the pond in England so she officially became the most exotic gal I know.   And her husband is Italian.  AND she lived four years in a far away, mystical place called The Netherlands.  EXOTIC, people.

Through the months that IJWTBA was being edited, published and released, Lynn and I privately SQUEEEEEEEED together that our names were in a book with the likes of People I Want To Punch In The Throat, Baby Sideburns and Moms Who Drink And Swear.  We would pinch ourselves together in totally different time zones and virtually high five each other whenever we’d get a great review or Jen Mann remembered our names.  And she seemingly doesn’t mind when I IM her a question at 6 pm here in The States.  Good friends Across The Pond answer IMs at midnight their time, it seems…..

As I’ve come to know her, I have found that Lynn is a rare gem in the blogging world.  She is one who sticks her neck out for other bloggers, often quietly and anonymously, she promotes the hell out of writers she loves, knows basically everything about terms like SEO, Alexa and AOL (kidding….I KNOW what AOL stands for) and is a kick ass writer.  And, no joke:  she gives the BEST hugs in the history of the world.  Go ahead.  Ask her for one and then tell me it’s not the softest place you’ve ever landed….her hugs are award winning, in fact.  True story.

So, for this week’s Tribe Tuesday post (which, incidentally, was delayed by a week because of circumstances beyond my control), I asked Lynn to share one of her favorite posts with us.  And she didn’t disappoint.  Her “Better Than Sex” list is hilarious and exactly on point.  Well, except for the fact that she forgot to add that The Nomad Mom Diary is TOTALLY on the “Better Than Sex” internet list in my head…..


Not Tonight, Honey

by:  Lynn Morrison

Nomad Mom Diary

I saw a tweet last night about a recipe for “better than sex” chocolate something, and it got me thinking. Now that I have kids, the bar for calling something better than sex is pretty darn low. Why? Because toddlers are absolute holy hell on your love life. I know that some people still manage to have crazy monkey sex after they have kids, but I have no effing clue where they find the time or energy for that.

It took me all of about 30 seconds to come up with a list of 5 things that I am likely to rank as better than sex on any given evening. Here they are, in no particular order:

The “better than sex” sleep
Sleep. Yeah, I said it. I would rather sleep most nights. I work all day. Then I come home and run nonstop taking care of the family. By the time 10pm (that’s a lie…8:30pm is more like it), rolls around, I just want to go and curl up in bed.

The “better than sex” stare
Stare into space. What was that? Did you want something? People want stuff from me all damn day long. Sign this, read that, draw this, come here, go there, not that kind of jam, no I said the pink fork, no the other pink fork, sit down, stand up, and on and on and on. If I’ve got 5 minutes of downtime, I want to spend it alone with absolutely no one (not even the TV or Facebook feed) clamouring for my attention.

The “better than sex” dessert
Dessert. Every parent knows that the really good dessert items come out AFTER the kids go to bed. There is no way we are going to waste premium Belgian chocolates on someone who is as likely to smear it over their face as eat it. Some of you are probably thinking that I could combine the two activities together. Are you nuts? I already have enough laundry to do without adding a rubber sheet to the mix. Plus….no shower days. Need I say more? Blech.

The “better than sex” internet
Facebook, twitter, blogs. You people write a lot. Cramming 24 hours of posts into my one hour of free time is hard work. What if I miss an article that goes viral? I won’t have any idea what to talk about around the tea kettle (I work in the UK…we don’t have a water cooler) tomorrow in the office if I don’t see what has been happening in the world.

The “better than sex” media
TV, movies, books. Escapism, pure escapism. If I spend an hour worrying about whether Mary is going to step up and help run Downton Abbey, that is one less hour I have to worry about the 10,000 things going on in my own life.

What do you guys think? Is your “better than sex” bar still high or has it dropped down to a limbo-like level since you had kids?


If you want more of her nuanced insights (translation:  her uncanny ability to write about EXACTLY what’s going on in your world), visit Lynn on Facebook, Twitter, Google+ and Pinterest!  And then go share the bejeezus out of this post….. Because she’d do the same for you….true story.


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10 Responses

  1. Shouldn’t we really add 5a: “The Real Houswives Of Anywhere Better Than Sex” because come on, grown women fighting over who started the fight and said the thing about the thing? Better than sex.

    The Nomad Mom and The Keeper? It’s like a favorite people sandwich today!

  2. I love Lynn!!! And I wish I could add to the list, but honestly? I don’t remember much about sex… Ask me about food though and I’m you’re gal 😉

  3. I always enjoy the work you two share!! And now that the kids are mostly grown/gone and my body has aged to where sex is a lot of work….I’m still up for sex. Thankfully, it rarely happens, so my body gets lots of time to recuperate!

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