I freely admit that, on a regular basis, I can manage to rub someone the wrong way.
I’m not always everyone’s cup of tea, sense of humor or favorite color and I’m okay with that.
I gave up a long time ago trying to be someone I’m not and I’m pretty pleased with who I’ve turned out to be as a human, mother, wife and friend. If I’ve hurt feelings over the years, I have always tried to be quick to say “I was wrong, I’m sorry and how can I make it better?” because I value the relationships in my life.
That being said, in the last week, I’ve been snubbed at a track meet, unfriended on Facebook and treated like general crap at a dinner party, all by three different people. All three incidents came out of left field and left me hurt and bewildered.
And that’s fine. Really. I get it. I’m just not your thang as a person and while we have had a personal relationship in the past, I wish you well on all of your endeavors.
Truly.
In the cases above, I wasn’t given the opportunity to make things right so I’m leaving well enough alone and moving on. Riding off in to the sunset. I’m getting my Elsa on and imma Let. It. Go.
You get my point.
While I can let unfriending, rudeness and public snubs go, I can’t move on from what happened in Target today.
I just can’t.
Why you ask?
Because a stranger, a COMPLETE stranger, called me a BITCH. Because I made a joke. About The Muppets.
Let that sink in. A joke. ABOUT. THE. MUPPETS.
Today was my annual “Hunt for Cheap Easter Shit and Clearance Shoes” trip to Target. You know that trip: the one where you pile your bright red cart with candy, toys and other trinkets that will be under your couch, on the floor of your car and in the washer in three weeks.
I trolled the aisles for the candy that would make me “the cool mom” on Easter morning, clearance napkins and plates for the classroom parties and shoes I might wear when I find the exact right dress. I was in my happy place.
An hour and about $110 later, I was strolling toward the cash registers when the $4 movies caught my eye.
Oh, she would love An American Tale.
Aw, he’d love The Muppets Take Manhattan.
Into the cart they went.
Still with me?
I proceeded to unload my wares on to the conveyor belt and politely chatted with the Target cashier man.
“Yes, Reese’s cups are the best. Oh, I know! Candy is so expensive these days! Yes, he really will love that Lego kit.”
All the while, a woman I didn’t know stood waiting to pay for her items.
And then, the cashier scanned The Muppets Take Manhattan. And we had the following conversation. Verbatim:
Him: “I love this movie. So great!”.
Me: “Me, too. My kids love The Muppets”
Him: “That’s awesome.”
Me: “Parenting done right is when your kids know The Muppets.”
Cue polite laughter and golf claps for my wit.
The woman behind me, upon hearing our exchange, loudly HRRUMPHS, gathers her things and moves to a different cashier.
Okaaaaaayyy…..impatient much?
I paid my bill with my trusty Red card, gathered my stuff and headed out the door. I stopped in the breezeway to find my keys, sunglasses and cell phone and as I was doing so, I see the woman who had been behind me walking with a man and a small child.
And I hear THIS:
Her: “That’s her. That’s that bitch. She’s the one who called me a bad parent because our kids don’t know The Muppets. Who does she think she is? Such a bitch”.
Him: “What a bitch.”
Me (in my head because you don’t want to poke The Crazy): WHHHAAAAAATTTTTTTT???????
Seriously.Do what now?
After I regained my faculties, I had the following three thoughts:
1). WTF??
2). This is exactly why I have a blog.
3). Why on EARTH is no one here with me to witness this and laugh as hard as I am right now?
In my pieces, Mean People Suck and Mean Moms Suck, I write about how when you encounter Mean People, sometimes it’s best to remember that the exchange you have with them is the sum total of their crappy day and very rarely about you. I try to keep that in perspective when people are harsh with me or act like total douche canoes to others. I really do.
Not today, bitchacho.
Not, today.
Today, I drew the line when I got called a bitch because I like Miss Piggy and love that my kids do, too. Or, more specifically because someone chose to interpret a conversation completely wrong, judge me and then use filth to refer to me.
I made A JOKE.
About parenting IN GENERAL.
Lighten the holy hell up, lady.
What is it with instant hostility these days, people? Can’t the general population take A JOKE THAT’S NOT THE LEAST BIT ABOUT THEM? Insecure much????
I’m sorry you heard “I think you suck as a parent because you’ve never shown your kid The Muppets”.
No, wait.
I’m NOT sorry.
BECAUSE I DIDN’T SAY THAT TO YOU, KERMIT.
Sheesh.
Ahem. Adjusts hair, deep breath, insert Miss Piggy “Humph!”
Now, a braver person would have called that woman to task right there amidst the minivans, red carts and giant red cement balls but I took the high road.
I held my head high, pushed my oversized red cart to my car, and secretly plotted to angle my cart so it would hit her car in the high winds (for those of you STILL mad at me about the cart issue in Mean People Suck, today I’m Guilty. As. Charged. Sue me, bitches….).
Mostly, I wanted to avoid getting my ass kicked by someone who could get instantly hostile over The Muppets and parenting.
That would have been an entirely different blog, I assure you.
As I listened to her complain and yell expletives all the way to her car about me, ignoring her was the right call. No one needs to get up close and personal with that kind of crazy.
I did, however, *kind of* want to run in and purchase another copy of The Muppets Take Manhattan to throw at her head.
But I didn’t. Because that would be crazy.
Little Miss Cray Cray should just count her lucky stars that Miss Piggy wasn’t with me in that parking lot.
Had Miss Piggy been there, she would have bitch slapped that woman back into reality while making Kermit, Gonzo and his chickens watch.
Wokka Wokka Wokka.
19 Responses
you are sooo awesome… I would have aired my grievance out loud & showed the wtf to that hose bag…. My kids don’t watch the muppets but that isn’t from me not trying!!! Too many shows out there that have a bad influence but the muppets aren’t one of them
I am amazed how people actually eavesdrop on a conversation and believe that other people actually care who they are or what type of person they are. The woman who called you that probably is a bad mom, and that’s why she reacted the way she did. Good job for not feeding into her craziness. I don’t know if I could have made it out without saying that I wasn’t talking to her or about her and that I didn’t really care if she was a good parent or not. Karma will probably take care of her later…
Who’s to say if she’s a bad mom, but she’s definitely way too insane to go out in public and interact with strangers.
I’m nodding my head and laughing. I just witnessed a lady blaring her horn yesterday at a guy who was getting back on the road from pulling over for a fire truck. And people who don’t yield to a funeral procession make me want to scream. Nobody lasts forever, let them have their final travel home.
And this is why we’re friends, bitchacho. 🙂
Those people give the legit crazy people a bad name. Most crazies couldn’t give a shit what you say we are to busy listening to the voices in our head insult us. Sorry, people using the word crazy to describe peoples rude behavior kind of makes me cranky she was just a mean bitch not crazy.
Apparently, she must feel like a bad mom or that comment wouldn’t have gotten under her skin. I, personally, have never shown my boys the Muppets. Yet. We will get there because I love Animal and Gonzo. They are just getting into cartoons now. We will get there.
That being said, I would never think you were referring to me when you made that comment. I would have laughed because it was funny. Some people need to pull their heads out of their butts and take a joke occasionally.
We are sisters in a pass life girl! We could seriously have conversations about all the crazy surrounding us. Good for you not to sink to her level.
You just have to love people who listen to your conversation and then get all uppitity! My daughter and I were on an escalator in Nordstrom and my daughter was telling a story about a restaurant called the Trailer Park in Cabo. Well… This 40 something blond follows us and starts yelling at my 19 year old daughter that she just called her trailer park trash…in the middle of the $500 handbag section of Nordstroms. I frantically looked around for the cameras because I knew this must be some punked type show but alas, no cameras – just Miss Crazy. I then quietly told the cashier to call security – and then told Miss Crazy to leave my daughter alone, pick on someone her own age…and to go home and take her medication. I will say I kept looking over my shoulder the rest of the shopping trip to make sure we weren’t going to get attacked!!!
Good lord! It’s enough to make you want to stay at home under the covers. Way to be whacko, lady!! We all have those little “parenting: you’re doing it right” things. It’s not a serious list. Obviously, it takes more than Muppets to make a great parent. Albeit, it’s a nice start… And clearly, this lady was already feeling touchy about her prowess. Or lack thereof. It’s not like you turned around and said “hey lady, I bet your kids don’t know who the Muppets are….” O.o Just crazy. But, I applaud you for exposing your kids to classics in this the Spongebob Squarepants age. I was thrilled when my kids took an interest in Looney Tunes! I hate half the crap that’s on TV these days. So bravo to you… My kids love the Muppets. My son was the Swedish Chef for Halloween a few years ago.
This was great! I’m going to have to read it again just to laugh some more!
I would have had to take her out. I might have ignored the first, no let me be honest. I would have taken that heifer down as soon as bitch left her lips. But your account was hilarious and awesome!! You handled it the way it should have gone.
You know what makes that type of crazy, rude bitchiness even more fun? When you’re related to it! I have a sister exactly like this. I have to tiptoe around her because things I say, do, post, etc. are constantly being taken out of context, judged and internalized by her, which then results in nasty comments, flip the hell out tirades, rants on MY facebook wall, etc. And you’re right, you have to take the high ground and not engage because you can’t argue or change crazy and rude.
I can’t tell you how much I look forward to the holidays. 😉
What some people said versus what is actually being said. I would say you hit a nerve & she couldn’t handle her guilt!
So you think I’m a great parent because my kids can quote lines from the Muppets. Thank you so much. You just made my day kind stranger.
Oh for the love of peanut butter. I really shouldn’t be surprised by what people will choose to get offended over, but I find myself in a whole new world of ‘OMG WTH just happened’ on an almost daily basis. I can’t count the number of times I’ve taken the high road over situations like this, but there’s one time when I didn’t. That was when a perfect stranger told me, loud enough for the entire front end of the store (including my son) that my kid was an annoying pain in the ass. Then I went home and threw up because I hate hate hate confrontation. There was a sweet older woman that came up to me and spoke softly and said not to take it to heart, that there’s no point trying to argue with insanity.
absolutely awesome response to these crazy people. Obviously, they were from a different planet. One that Gonzo wasn’t from. I’m sorry she missed her rainbow connection, cuz obviously, the love is gone and she needs to follow the little man in her finger to a Moulin Scrooge. Her poor deprived children will be like orphans tossed out in the snow holding their frozen little teddy bears as their friends quote and giggle over phrases and lines as far beyond them as Statler and Waldorf’s comments are from those of us watching and loving.
** (when I was a teen, my dream car was a black El Camino with green pinstripes and Kermit on the hood…)
1. I support your belief that good parenting = muppet knowledge for kids!
2. This bitch is seriously delusional and I can’t believe with your quick wit you didn’t out her psychosis to everyone in hearing distance. I’ve found it helps to pretend you know this person very well and fear for the safety of everyone, in a VERY loud voice.
3. Three days before Christmas I was in, God help me, Walmart when a total stranger told my 3yr old son “Santa doesn’t visit mean little boys” He was being a perfect angel just excited about Christmas no fits of any kind, very sweet. No idea why she sought him out but she went on to regret her words when they were slammed back down her throat, I questioned just who in the hell she felt she was to say that child. as I was seven months pregnant told her she now had the privilege of going home and telling everyone how Santa’s fat bitchy elf ripped her a new asshole at Walmart for Christmas. I still have no regrets, in fact I smile every time I remember this day. Keep up the fight hoist them up high
And make us all proud, and know women just like you are everywhere we’ve got your back.
This reminds me of this weekend. I was trying to pickup some last minute items at the store for a relative’s birthday party, left the grocery store to go to the dollar store across the parking lot. Park my car and get out, and some guy in a car is yelling at me and calling me a bitch and how dare I be in a hurry.
Didn’t know what his issue was, and realizes he was the car hoping to drive down a lane and was instead put off because I was on the main road with the right-a-way.
Like sorry dude. I was following the road signs and going where I needed to. I don’t need to answer to you about why I am doing what I need to do!
Sheesh. I shoulda called the cops on him but didn’t even stop my stride to get into the store.