A lot of you have asked me, “Now that you’ve started your blog, do I have to worry that I’m going to show up in it?” The short answer: Nah, unless you are a certain 7 year old, 10 year old or car loving hubby, you are probably safe. The long answer: my college roommates should probably start to sweat….NOW. And a couple of my running gal pals should probably start to shake in their Mizunos. And, maybe the guy outside the dry cleaners yelling expletives into his phone yesterday. But, he probably doesn’t read my blog. Yet. So, if you don’t fall into those categories, you are safe. For now.
Here in my Fruit Loop Group world, I have a few “rules” (give me a break: I’m a type A control freak… the rules should come as no surprise…have you seen my closets?) and I figured we should get the ground rules out in the open now, at the beginning of our relationship.
1) I pledge never to be nasty. Nasty gets you nowhere and frankly, I don’t need my inbox clogged with crazy emails about how I disrespected Target or how I should take a flying leap because I was mean to someone. So, here at the Fruit Loop Group: we play nice. Just like in kindergarten, m’kay?
2) I pledge to be as funny as I can so that when you are voluntarily using your social media devices for immediate gratification humor, you will get what you came for. Some posts will be funnier than others but I will do what I can to make you smile. If you don’t smile, you probably don’t know funny. Oops, wait, that sounded a little nasty. Direct violation of Rule #1. My bad.
3) I pledge to try and not make my kids need too much therapy by the time they are grown ups. This will be a hard rule to keep because so much of what happens around here is just plain funny and, unfortunately, I will feel compelled to write about it. So, basically, I am amending this rule Right This Minute to say: I pledge to rename their college fund “The Therapy Fund”. Problem solved.
4) I pledge to try to like cake. I know this was a deal breaker for a lot of you. No promises here but I will at least entertain the thought of eating that spongy substance willingly. All bets are off on the icing though. That stuff is just plain ick and it makes my teeth spin. Not. Gonna. Happen.
5) I pledge to make the rest of it up as I go along and I hope you will help me with this rule. I hope you will tell me when you find something funny and when you don’t (Rule #1, people, Rule #1 with the dislike, please). I hope you will tell your friends that you enjoy your time here and that you always find Fruit Loops like you in this space. And if you don’t, find a blog that revolves around Cheerios. That’s probably more your speed.
So, there you have it. The FLG Rules. I reserve the right to change, modify, addend or make up another one anytime I please. But, for the most part, the above is how we are going to roll around here. If you can agree to the above terms, raise your right hand and say with me “We Love Fruit Loops!” (only if you are by yourself though….people look at you funny when you do that kind of thing in public…just sayin’). And, bonus points will be awarded for yelling “We Love Fruit Loops” a la Joan Cusack at the end of Working Girl in your office or public place.
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