The Keeper Has A Clothing Line!

So, you know how sometimes you get emails to your inbox and you look at them and immediately decide that they have to be spam because they sound so ridiculous?

“You have 2 million dollars waiting for you in an offshore account in the Cayman Islands.”

“You have won an all expenses paid cruise to the Bahamas and all you have to do is give us your credit card information.”

“Hi, I’m Samantha from TeePublic and we’d like to work with you on creating your own clothing line.”

Wait.

That last email.

What did it say? Where’s the fine print? Is Ashton Kutcher going to punk me right here in my kitchen?

Yes, I received an email that actually said that the fine people at TeePublic not only thought I was hilarious but they also wanted me to emblazon my funny, incredibly witty blog sayings onto T shirts, mugs, iPhone cases and more.

After I picked myself up off the floor and had a “business call” with Samantha at TeePublic (read: paced in my kitchen while wearing my LulaRoe leggings as I wore a “WTF, is she for serious?” face and resisted the urge to simultaneously pee my pants and stress eat Reece’s peanut butter cups. I’m super professional, you guys. Professional AF, I tell you), I realized that I was really getting to design shirts. With my words. That other people’s boobs would show off.

My first thought when I actually stopped saying, “Are you suuuuuuure you know what you are doing by inviting me to the cool kids table at TeePublic??” was:

My favorite word, BITCHACHOS, was coming to the masses, yo.

Someone pinch me because that is EXACTLY what happened about a month ago you guys.

And I JUST CANNOT with how excited I am. And, if I’m being honest, there’s been no living with me around this joint because I keep reminding Hubby and the Fruit Loops that I’m on my way to hanging with the cool kids of fashion. Oddly, though, they only seem mildly impressed when I tell them that I’m fairly certain Kate Spade started out this way. Actually, they roll their eyes at me and continue to ignore the dishes in the sink but THAT’S NOT THE POINT HERE, PEOPLE.

The Keeper officially has a clothing line.

Can we all take a moment to SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!?!?!?!?!?  But not too much that we Squee Our Pants…. (see what I did there?).

When I started this blog journey almost three years ago, I had no idea what to expect.

No.

Scratch that.

I pretty much expected that I’d write a few posts that I’d force my mom, BFF and Hubby to read and I’d maybe convince one or two strangers to read the words that stemmed from the crazy thoughts that run through my head on the daily. I thought that I’d have a cute little collection of stories to pass onto the Fruit Loops that would remind them of just how crazy they drove me and that, if I was lucky, some mom out there would find some solace in knowing that she wasn’t the only person out there who felt like she was caught with her pants down the day they handed her a baby.

Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think that I’d get a email saying that someone wanted to put my brand of funny on T shirts. And mugs. And laptop cases. I mean, how often do you get the chance to plaster iPhone cases with sayings like “Namaste, Bitchachos“?

So, if anyone needs me, I’ll be sitting here in my Suck It, Betty Crocker T shirt designing ridiculous T shirts until TeePublic figures out that perhaps they invited the wrong chick into their offices. Because I’m pretty sure they’ve created a monster.

I blame you, Tee Public.

Ahem.