Update: When I wrote this post in 2016, I knew my dear friend Beth Caldwell was dying. I knew she was running out of time because her metastatic breast cancer wasn’t being researched enough. On November 2, 2017, her gorgeous soul left this world. But, her light continues to shine because she left us armed with a way to continue fighting for metastatic breast cancer research.
This post is #forBeth. Always.
Pink is my favorite color.
Really, it is.
Anyone who knows me well knows that if I have a color choice, imma pick pink every day and twice on Sunday. I’m not sure if it makes me feel feminine or if it’s just way for me to show off my personality but I’m all about the pink.
In fact, in the immortal words of Shelby Eatenton Latcherie in Steel Magnolias, “Pink is mah signature color.” For the record, I did stop short of decorating the church in the two colors of “Blush” and “Bashful” for my wedding, though. I mean, sometimes there really is too much of a good thing. Also, if you don’t understand the Steel Magnolia references, we can’t be friends. Sorry, not sorry.
As much as I loves me some pink, though, I loathe that my favorite color is associated with breast cancer.
I don’t do pink anything in the name of awareness.
Period.
But it wasn’t always that way and I have my friend Beth to thank for enlightening me.
Back in 2013, I “met” Beth online in a Facebook group devoted to women writers. At the time, she was 18 months into a battle with metastatic breast cancer and she blogged about her experiences on her website, Cult of Perfect Motherhood. As I got to know Beth, I realized that breast cancer is so much more than pink socks and three day walks for awareness.
Because of Beth and her tireless advocacy for metastatic breast cancer patients, I have come to learn that a very small percentage of money donated to breast cancer awareness charities is actually earmarked for research.
And, those pink socks, water bottles, car magnets and toasters that are sold in the name of advancing the breast cancer cause? Yeah, almost nothing of those sales goes to help people like Beth live to see their daughters turn six.
Beth is dying of cancer. She doesn’t need pink socks. She need a CURE.
This weekend, while visiting a friend in Connecticut, we took a trip to a local beach to soak in the sun and breathe in the autumn air. As we arrived to the parking lot, we saw that the American Cancer Society was hosting a pink walk: a gathering where participants don ALL. THE. PINK. and walk a mile around a scenic course in the name of breast cancer awareness.
They have honored guests: survivors who have made it to remission or individuals who have worked tirelessly to raise money to make sure everyone knows that breast cancer, does, in fact, exist. Everyone walks together in solidarity while shaking fists at the air that too many women have died and everyone piles in their cars to go home, feeling smug in their knowledge that they fought cancer that day. They raised AWARENESS, people.
News Flash: WE ALL KNOW BREAST CANCER IS A THING SO KNOCK IT OFF WITH THE PINK ALREADY.
Seriously.
Stop buying pink anything in October or any other month of the year.
Stop supporting companies that don’t donate 100% of their fundraising to breast cancer research.
Those pink Oreos? Yeah, they’ll just go to your hips as you pat yourself on the back for blindly donating money to a charity that probably reached their donation cap months ago.
Oh yes, really, companies do that: they’ll pledge an amount to a charity and when they reach that goal, they’ll continue to collect the profits from those pink water bottles you are carrying during your awareness walk.
It’s sickening.
And I refuse to be a part of any of it, favorite color be damned.
In 2014, I finally got to meet Beth in person. My friends Jen of Real Life Parenting and Stephanie of When Crazy Meets Exhaustion, traveled together to NYC to meet Beth as she visited the East Coast. We met in the basement of Rockefeller Plaza and when she and I recognized each other across the concourse, we screamed loudly and scared New Yorkers as we ran towards each other to hug and jump and cry.
Yes, we SCARED NEW YORKERS with our joy, people. We spent the day at a bar in Soho listening to her friend’s band and it remains one of the most special days of my life.
That day is poignant and special to me because I don’t know if I’m going to get that moment again. Beth lives on the West Coast and, two years later, she’s fighting like hell but she’s fighting an uphill battle. Insurance companies that deny payments for needed clinical trials and drugs that are years away from being tested on humans BECAUSE THERE’S NOT ENOUGH MONEY FOR RESEARCH TO HAPPEN QUICKLY are the reality of her disease. Simply put, Beth may die because people have been too busy buying pink T shirts, blenders and running shoes.
And that’s bullshit, plain and simple.
So, I’m asking that you Think Before You Pink. Research the companies that you want to donate to in the name of breast cancer research. Talk with breast cancer advocates. Ask the hard questions of the charities you favor: how much is going to research? Did you reach your donation cap? How much money goes towards overhead? Does the money go to metastatic research? Be smart with your money because, if you are like me, you only have so much to donate every year. And stop throwing that money away on cutesty pink shit that is completely and utterly useless in the fight to save women from breast cancer.
Just stop already with All The Pink.
Demand research instead.
Because one day, it could be your boobs that need the life saving cure and I can guarantee you that you won’t give a flying fig about the color of your socks.
If you’d like to read Beth’s poignant post on why she hates the word “Survivor”, click HERE.
If you would like to donate to a charity THAT ACTUALLY USES THE MONEY FOR RESEARCH, click HERE.
20 Responses
That’s one of my favorite days, too, pal. Humbled to have shared it with all of you and now I’m done being nice BECAUSE QUIT THE PINK SHIT.
thank you.
I had heard stories about the “pink” stuff sometimes being NOT on the up n’ up. Thank you for writing this, I needed to hear it from someone who had more knowledge of the situation. I will think of your friend now every time I see the Pink Shit. (phraseology borrowed from you.)
Thank you for helping to raise awareness of MBC. It is also worth mentioning that so many of the products sporting pink ribbons on their labels actually contain cancer-causing ingredients (beauty products being huge offenders). Pink foods? The chemicals used to attain that gorgeous, sexy color are carcinogens. I could go on and on. Komen and their pink drill bits? Yeah, those are used for fracking, which we know causes breast cancer. The history of the pink ribbon is interesting and can be found here; http://thinkbeforeyoupink.org/resources/history-of-the-pink-ribbon/.
Exactly Christine! Said so perfectly! My motto is “There’s Nothing Pink About breast cancer”. The color of bubble gum, Barbie jeeps and princess do NOT bring me back to chemo days. Being diagnosed in and around October is maddening. Thank you for your honesty.
I learned about the falsehood of pink from the blog http://www.butdoctorihatepink.com/
Thank you for spreading the word for the need of RESEARCH for a CURE!!!
It occurs to me to wonder if there are segments of the population with markedly lower rates of breast cancer. Who are they? Where are they? What things do they share that might influence cancer development? Isn’t this a potentially productive thing to investigate?
Thank you for this eye-opener.
I just lost one of my best friends to Metastatic Breast cancer earlier this month. She told me 10 years ago, when she was first diagnosed “Pink is not a cure”. I’ve bought the F*ck cancer shirts, when I knew where the money was going. I donated to her gofundme directly. I didn’t buy pink to support any bs charity. Her 3 boys now must learn to live without her amazingness, so i will continue to support them and not some bs company for profit.
I love you so much.
Wow. Thank you for writing this. I have felt this since beginning of Susan b komen mania. I did a few simple searches and found very little money went to research or care for women. So much was spent on overhead, lawyers for lawsuits against anyone using “for the cure” in personal fundraising for women. Sbk donates to planned parenthood, but that money does nothing to provide early detection, research or cure. Honestly your best bet for donations is giving it to fundraisers for individual women going though the battle!
Never really liked most of these so called causes for the cure. Knowing full well who gets paid first and its not the people who really needs it now. My 88 yr old Mom has breast cancer and is not going through the normal therapy. I refuse to give to most of these causes years ago the United Way was the perfect example what happens. Now a days I only give to certain charities that I know where the money goes, sorry to say theses are few and far between. To many greedy lawyers, to many greedy big wigs wanting to line their pockets first. A special place in Hell for all of them.
Thank you!!!!! I am a nurse. I have seen my patients struggle for something as simple as a ride to chemo treatments while the “pink” is everywhere….money wasted on pink football uniforms and bumper stickers and license plates…..I am sick to death of this. Nothing but a PR campaign to raise money to justify another wasted charity. Thank you.
Truth About Cancer – Ty Bollinger – this is where the REAL information and research is!!
hello.. my name is Jason Rowlands and currently live 20 minutes from the cardiff area.. i have good knowledge of retail and very puncual with customers. I completed my NVQ in retail in 2010.. i would love the oppuitunrty to join the company or even get the chance for a work trial. Thank you for your time Jason Rowlands.
Well said! It’s all about filling the pockets from big pharma!
Another eye opening article is this one here from chris beats cancer.
don’t get fooled by all the “awareness”fundraiser and events
http://www.chrisbeatcancer.com/shocking-facts-about-susan-g-komen-for-the-cure/
This was a great article. I feel the same way even though, I’m a mother of 3 wonderful kids, And all I could think is what would they do without me, when i was diagnosed Mother’s Day weekend 2015 with breast cancer. Christmas of 2016 I spent a week in hospital with spinal fractures because the chemo and surgery hadn’t worked, it had spread to the bone and liver. At the time doctors said “there’s no cure, we can’t cut out your bones” and I likely wouldn’t see Christmas 2017. That was when I put my pride aside and let my friends create a crowd funding page. https://www.youcaring.com/bradanddaniellethorne-720567 it was the best thing we could have done. It lessened our stress and gave us the means to pay for natural medicines. I’ve seen improvements in my “incurable” bone mets but my liver was almost half Tumor in September. I’m pretty certain I’ll see this Christmas but it could likely be my last. The support and well wishes from everyone really pushes me to do my best and lifts my spirits. No need to donate but I would love to see comments of well wishes on the funding page from anyone who has a minute to post.
Eat flax for prevention at least and vitamin C, necessary. Whatever you do, don’i eat like you did when you got it.
As a breast cancer survivor I understand your feelings. Companies use it as a money making tool but if you look at it in a different way it’s really not that bad an idea. If wearing pink raises awareness and helps give one woman the courage to go get a mammogram that could possibly save her life than whats so wrong about that? It’s not all about raising or making money. Just bringing awareness of how preventable this disease can be and how early detection can save your life is a good enough reason for me to proudly we’re my pink. Have an open mind and don’t be so critical.
Happy to see I’m not the only one who feels this way, Michelle–though we’re two of the few in these comments. While the pink movement may seem overdone to some, I think it’s a great tool that often brings quick recognition to breast cancer awareness. As you said, pink could be the difference for one woman (or man) to have a life-saving test or take other action to prevent future health hardships. Anything that helps people be more conscious of preventing cancer (of any kind) is a winner in my book.
We’ve created a t-shirt totally eliminating the pink washing and honoring a loved one’s passion for #FeelItOnTheFirst. We lost her on Sept 10, 2018 to metastatic breast cancer. She left behind a loving husband and a precious three year old little girl who is already showing she has her Mama’s unwavering strength.
Check out our design here, https://go.rallyup.com/feelitonthefirst
Proceeds will benefit our dear friend’s family in navigating this tough time and hopefully maintain some sort of normalcy in their day to day lives.