Let’s get something straight: until twelve years ago, I only ran when chased. While in high school, I participated in sports and I use that term loosely because by “sports,” I mean Color Guard and spring musicals. In college, exercise came in the form of brisk walks around my campus to work off beer calories […]
My Husband Is Having An Affair and It’s Fine With Me
She’s sleek. She’s sexy. She purrs. When she’s around, he’s got his eyes on her curves and he just can’t help but touch her parts. She takes him places he’s always dreamed about and my husband is just plain smitten. I’m talking, of course, about our, er, HIS, 1966 Mustang convertible. The Pony is his […]
The Phrase I Used To Hate To Hear From Other Mothers
When I was a new mom in 2003, I had the luxury of being able to stay home full time with my son when he arrived. Before he came, I envisioned long afternoons of cuddling and bonding, making gourmet meals for my husband and catching up on all of the books on my night stand […]
Connecticut Has A Free Submarine Museum and Your Kids Will Love It
Traveling is my FAVORITE. And, there’s I love more than sharing my experiences from the road with pretty much anyone who will listen. Which brings me to my new series, Keeper of The Fruit Loops Approved! It’s official AF, I tell you. When I find a restaurant, museum or location that I love, I’m going […]
My Smart Phone Makes Me Feel Like I Can Rule The World
I am fairly certain I could rule the world with my iPhone. From scheduling play dates, to managing Hubby’s schedule, to counting calories, to connecting with my friends, my iPhone is my right hand man. From my kitchen, I can arrange food delivery for a bereaved friend, tweet to Ellen DeGeneres (Hey Ellen, call me, m’kay?), […]
I Had The Birds And The Bees Talk With My Son And It Was Awkward AF
As a parent, there are a few moments that stop you in your tracks and make you want to run screaming from the room: the first time you realize your toddler can reach the top of the stairs in under three seconds, the first time you hear a swear word out of one of your […]
We May Have Kids But Our Marriage Was Here First
Scene: the dinner table, a few years ago. Fruit Loop #2: “How do you KNOW that you should marry a person?” Fruit Loop #1: “When you meet the right person, a spark happens. Then you have to nurture the spark so it becomes a flame and then eventually a bonfire across your marriage. And wick size […]
The Day My Toddler’s Mouth Almost Had Me Arrested At Preschool
It all started out so innocently. All I had to do was get the 2-year-old to his first day of preschool with a 2-week-old infant in tow. I’m a bachelor’s educated RN with many years of ICU experience. I’ve managed patient flow. I’ve run ICU codes. A 2-year-old and an infant? Pfft. Easy peasy. What […]
Memphis Has Marching Ducks And It’s My Favorite
Traveling is my FAVORITE. And, there’s I love more than sharing my experiences from the road with pretty much anyone who will listen. Which brings me to my new series, Keeper of The Fruit Loops Approved! It’s official AF, I tell you. When I find a restaurant, museum or location that I love, I’m going […]
The Year I Didn’t Make Christmas Cookies
I’m pretty sure I married Hubby just to get his mother’s Christmas cookie recipes. I’m kidding. Mostly. When I attended a Christmas Eve gathering at his mother’s house the first year we were dating, my eyes nearly bugged out of my head when I saw her Christmas cookie trays. Gorgeous confections iced to perfection, her […]
The Keeper Goes To A Video Shoot. Yes, Really.
When I was about 8 years old, my father took me to Rockefeller Plaza. I had been allowed to skip school and accompany my father to an early morning business meeting in Midtown. It was a cold February day and I remember being amazed by the sites and sounds of the bustling New York cityscape. […]
Motherhood Has Made Falling Down A Lot Less Fun
I’m no stranger to falling down and, as my friends will tell you, I have a long history of tripping, losing my footing, and face planting, usually in an epic fashion. In fact, my fall down a hill of frozen mud one early morning in college is a story my college roommates love to recount […]
36 Thoughts All Moms Have While Bathing Suit Shopping
I’m going to let you in on a little secret: aging is not kind on a woman’s body. I know, I know. It came as total shock to me, too. Particularly yesterday, when I was standing in the fluorescent lights of a Target dressing room, trying on bathing suits. Bathing suit shopping is hard after […]
I Signed With A Literary Agent And Found Out My Dog Is A Murderer. On The Same Day.
There are moments in your life where time stops and you remember every single detail. I can remember with vivid clarity the morning the Challenger exploded and the details of 9/11 are seared on my brain. The first time Hubby kissed me. The day my father died. We all have those times where events transpire […]
Hey, Moms? We Don’t Have To Fight With Each Other
There’s a battle raging in this country, people. And it’s serious. Serious as a heart attack. No, it doesn’t involve Congress and it does not involve Mexican cartels and the drug trade. It has nothing to do with guns on the streets or with organic, genetically perfect foods. Nor does it have to do with […]
The Keeper Is Going To Graceland. Sort of.
When I was fifteen, I volunteered at a local hospital in the Mail and Flowers department. A few times a week, I donned a blue gingham smock and would spend several hours delivering, well, mail and flowers to the patients and families. As I’d make my way through the hospital, the sights and sounds of […]
The Time I Became A Cat Burglar. Literally.
I am responsible AF. Well, except when it comes to taking care of my friends’ pets. Then all bets are off. I feel as though it should be said that I have zero pet sitting skills. I didn’t own pets as a kid and I was 41 years old when our first family pet joined […]
The Day My Heart Grew By Two Feet
He climbed up on my lap and nestled his toddler body against mine. As he shifted to get comfortable, my belly shifted, presumably his sister’s first act of defiance against her older brother. His hair was wet and he smelled faintly of baby shampoo and talc. With his pacifier nestled in his mouth, he grinned […]
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