Keeper of the Fruit Loops

I am The Keeper of The Fruit Loops, Manager of the Fecal Roster and the Driver of the People Mover. In other words, I'm a mom.

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My Teens Have Curfews And Science Says It’s A Good Idea

May 26, 2019 By Christine 3 Comments

Curfew

My son and his friends looked ridiculous as they posed for Homecoming pictures. Though they were all freshly shaven and wearing ties, they were also donning silly white “clout goggles.” Because my son isn’t old enough to drive yet, the boys had gathered at our home so that I could drive them to the dance. […]

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Advanced Placement Classes Are Hell And It’s Okay If Your Kid Says NOPE.

May 23, 2019 By Christine 30 Comments

advanced placement

When our kids were small, we moved to a new school district in time for my son to start kindergarten. As I was filling out his new student paperwork, I realized, unexpectedly, that our new district had a different age cut off than our previous district. This meant that my daughter, already enrolled in preschool, […]

Filed Under: Parenting My Way Tagged With: teens

The Day I Realized I Was Too Strict With My Teens Hit Me Hard

May 19, 2019 By Christine 2 Comments

As I dug around in my purse, looking for my keys, I yelled, “Let’s go! We are going to be late!” at the kitchen ceiling. Trying to herd two teenagers out the door to a doctor’s appointment on a day off from school is no easy task. I waited for the familiar sound of stomping […]

Filed Under: Parenting Is Hard Enough Tagged With: teenagers

The 90s Were The Very Best College Years Ever And I Loved Every Minute

May 15, 2019 By Christine 3 Comments

Flannel shirts and grunge.

Recently, my college roommates and I realized we moved into college 25 years ago. As we prepare to send our own kids off to college and find ourselves on college tours and navigating intricate financial aid forms, we’ve all agreed that college has become a lot more complicated than when we mailed our college applications. […]

Filed Under: Parenting My Way Tagged With: 90s

When Cancer Comes To Your Family, It’s Hard To Remember All The Things

May 6, 2019 By Christine Leave a Comment

Cancer Chemotherapy treatment

This is a sponsored post. I was compensated by Med-IQ through educational grants from AbbVie, Astellas, and Genentech to write about communicating symptoms and treatment side effects with the healthcare team. All opinions are my own. My father and I had a long history of arguing. Both stubborn to a fault, we would spar over […]

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: cancer, grief

I’m Trying Not To Push My Teens Into The Activities I Loved in High School

April 7, 2019 By Christine 1 Comment

activities

When I dropped my daughter off at cross-country practice, I paused to watch the high school marching band rehearse. As I watched the kids play their instruments and the color guard practice their routines, I was instantly transported to a time when I, too, twirled a flag in front of a frenzied Friday night crowd. […]

Filed Under: Parenting My Way Tagged With: high school, High School Daze, teens

Here’s How To Send Your Son To A High School Dance In 50 Easy Steps

March 31, 2019 By Christine 2 Comments

high school dance

Now that your kid is in high school, I hate to break it to you: gone are the simple days when you drop your child off at an elementary event run by friends of yours on the PTA. Back then, you told your kid to grab his shoes and $2 and dropped him off at […]

Filed Under: Parenting Is Hard Enough Tagged With: high school, High School Daze, prom, teens

I Parent My Teens Through The Lens of Grieving. And It Sucks.

March 24, 2019 By Christine 1 Comment

Grieving

My teenaged son walked in the door from school and I caught a glimpse of my father. It was fleeting, lasting only milliseconds, but for a tiny moment in time, I could see the way my father’s features had melded with my son’s. And, as it happens during those moments, my heart broke a little […]

Filed Under: Losing My Dad Tagged With: grief, teenagers, teens

My Teen Daughter Has Found Her Passion And It Takes My Breath Away

March 17, 2019 By Christine 1 Comment

Teens passion

I came to the sport of running late in life. Though I ran on my high school track team, I hung my running shoes up for many years until the strain of sleepless nights and baby weight became too much for me. In my early thirties, I dusted off on my running shoes and I […]

Filed Under: Parenting Is Hard Enough Tagged With: high school, parenting, teens

Sending a Kid to High School Is Harder Than The First Day of Preschool

March 10, 2019 By Christine 3 Comments

High school teens

When the nurse handed my son to me, I expected to feel an instantaneous bond. As I peeled back his blanket and took in his old man scowl, though, I surprised myself as the words, “I’m not qualified to raise a human” came to mind. And I promptly looked around for a grown up because […]

Filed Under: Parenting Is Hard Enough Tagged With: high school, High School Daze, teens

Social Media Has Brought Me Closer To My Teens And I’m Not Sorry

March 3, 2019 By Christine 1 Comment

social media

As any parent of teens will tell you, social media and technology are a part of a teen’s everyday life. From texting to snapping, teens are wholly immersed in a media world that still feels foreign to parents of our generation. And, if you are like me, it can often feel like you are struggling […]

Filed Under: Parenting My Way Tagged With: social media, teens

I Am The Mom With The Big Mouth So You Don’t Have To Be.

February 24, 2019 By Christine 3 Comments

Big mouth mom.

Recently, I dropped my 15-year-old son off for a weekend away with friends. They were going canoeing and he was excited to spend 48 hours knee deep in water and sleeping on a hammock with his buddies. As I stood with him, waiting for them to pack up their gear, I assessed the group, particularly […]

Filed Under: Parenting My Way Tagged With: teens

I Connect With My Teens On Social Media And I Love It

February 17, 2019 By Christine 2 Comments

connect with teens.

As any parent of teens will tell you, social media and technology are a part of a teen’s everyday life. From texting to snapping, teens are wholly immersed in a media world that still feels foreign to parents of our generation. And, if you are like me, it can often feel like you are struggling […]

Filed Under: Parenting My Way

Living With Teens Means Sexy Time Is Tricky

February 10, 2019 By Christine Leave a Comment

Sexy time with teens around.

When you tell people you are about to become a parent for the first time, the jokes about never sleeping again are almost immediate. And, once your friends have sufficiently warned you that you’ll be exhausted for eighteen years, the jokes switch to your sex life. Or lack thereof, that is. “Playdates with other people’s […]

Filed Under: Behind Closed Doors Tagged With: sexy time

When Cancer Came To My Family, The Hidden Stresses Were Surprising

February 6, 2019 By Christine 2 Comments

Cancer related stresses

I was compensated by Med-IQ through educational grants from AbbVie, Astellas, and Genentech to write about managing distress for cancer patients and their caregivers.  All opinions are my own. When my phone buzzed in my pocket, I was filing papers on a brisk January morning. I smiled when I saw my Dad’s number pop up on my […]

Filed Under: Losing My Dad, Uncategorized Tagged With: grief, grieving

7 Mom Habits I Will Never Be Able To Break (And I’m Not Sorry)

February 3, 2019 By Christine Leave a Comment

Mom habits

“Do you have enough money?” “Do you know where to meet me afterward?” “You know not to talk to strangers, right? If you have a problem, look for a mom. Moms always help.” “Did you pee? Maybe you should pee before you go?” He looked at me and rolled his eyes, his patience for my […]

Filed Under: Parenting My Way

The Day I Realized My Teen Daughter Had a Voice (and A Mind) of Her Own

January 27, 2019 By Christine 5 Comments

Teenaged daughter has a voice.

She was the baby who almost wasn’t. When I was seventeen weeks pregnant with her, I was in a devastating head on car accident. The relief my husband and I felt when we saw her heartbeat, wild and strong, at the hospital where I was treated was palpable. Our girl was a fighter. She came […]

Filed Under: Parenting Is Hard Enough Tagged With: badass, teenagers

Parents, We Need To Talk About The Word “Commitment”

January 24, 2019 By Christine 8 Comments

Commitment

Parents, we need to have a chat.  *pauses to allow parents to grab coffee and gather ’round* Can we please talk about the word, “commitment”? Or, shall I say, the overuse of the word “commitment” when we are talking to our teens about their extracurricular activities? (My apologies to the parents who thought I was […]

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: teens

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The Keeper on Instagram!

fruitloopkeeper

Nurse. Wife. Mom. Runner. Blogger. Writer. Thrift Shop Junkie. Sauvignon Blanc Snob.
Social Media Manager for @hermoneymedia and @jeanchatzky.

It’s time to let the world swallow your whole s It’s time to let the world swallow your  whole self, bitchachos. And you can hand the haters a glass of milk if they are having trouble. #bringit #momtruth #parentingtruth #iamwhoiam #nojoke #mywholeself
Can we all agree that our pets are the real winner Can we all agree that our pets are the real winners of the quarantine?
For six months, this dog has had four people to cuddle her, give her treats, and take her for walks at the drop of a hat. And she does not care if she interrupts a Zoom call to protect us from the UPS guy.
And, yes, she’s been forced to take more selfies than she’d like but sorry not sorry, #daisytheshihtzu.
What are these pets gonna do if we ever have to go back to “real” life?
#petsofinstagram #shihtzusofinstagram #shihtzulovers #shihtzusgram_feature #quarantinelife #petsofquarantine #lifewithdaisy
No words. RIP, #rbg. Fly with the angels and rest No words. RIP, #rbg. Fly with the angels and rest easy. We won’t let you down. Also? SOMEONE FIND BETTY WHITE RIGHT NOW. #ruthbaderginsburg #suckit2020 #wtf #notoriousrbg #ruthbaderginsburgismyhero
When I was thinking about how I wanted to write ab When I was thinking about how I wanted to write about eczema for a project with @mediqcme, I was reminded of a time a few years ago when I had the world’s worst case of poison ivy.
After a marathon session of gardening, I’d managed to swipe a huge swath of poison ivy oil across my chest, left flank, and left side of my face.
Within days, I was in agony: huge, weeping crusted pustules covered my body and as the days turned into weeks, my skin screamed at me for attention at every given moment.
I couldn’t sleep.
I couldn’t wear my favorite clothing because my lesions were constantly weeping.
And then came the steroids.
That’s when the real hell began. I’m a high energy person without the aid of stimulants (I really should switch to decaf, I know) and steroids make me a next-level handful, trust me.
For six weeks, every decision I made revolved around my skin: how to sit comfortably, what position made sleep come more easily, even bathing became a chore because nothing helped allay the itch that seemed to come from the inside out.
I was miserable, yes, but thankfully, I eventually healed and soon forgot about my six weeks of poison ivy hell.
But, 9-year-old Elizabeth told me that living with atopic dermatitis means that itching from the inside out is a way of life for her and, in her words, itchy skin makes her feel “bad” most of the time.
Head to my IG stories to read more about life with #atopicdermatitis and how it affects almost 31 million Americans (10 million of which are kids).
#itchyskinhelp #chroniceczema #eczema #eczemarelief #atopicdermatitistreatment
Why is it that when the temp dips to 50 degrees in Why is it that when the temp dips to 50 degrees in September, I can’t wait to wear sweaters and scarves but, in April, I’m pretty much wearing shorts and tank tops?
#hardhittingquestions #fallproblems #sweaterweather #falllife #fallfashion #fallvibes #conundrum #yorkbeach #yorkbeachme
Do you have eczema? Does someone you know and love Do you have eczema? Does someone you know and love have atopic dermatitis, a chronic skin condition that affects more than 31 million Americans? 

Join me Tuesday, September 15 at 2p EST for a very special FB live conversation about Atopic Dermatitis with Dr. Peter Lio, Asst. Professor of Dermatology and Pediatrics at @northwesternu. 

We will be discussing what atopic dermatitis is, how it affects families, and the resources that you can trust if you, your kids, or family members are navigating a new (or ongoing) atopic dermatitis diagnosis.

Bring your questions because we will be answering them live!

Special thanks to @mediqcme for making this discussion possible!
#itchyskinhelp
On the day my son was born, my father sent us a ca On the day my son was born, my father sent us a card.
“You’ll always remember the firsts but the lasts are the most precious,” he wrote.
She’s our last.
She was the last baby to walk with her fat feet on our hardwood floors.
She was the last one to go to kindergarten.
She was the one who napped on the go as her brother attended Mommy and Me classes and soccer practices.
She was the last one to have a single digit birthday in our house.
But for all of the firsts that have been afforded to her brother, she’s our first in so many ways.
She’s the first one to navigate freshman year during a hybrid school system in the midst of a pandemic.
She’s the first one to forge her way on a cross country team with teammates who have never had to race virtually.
She’s the first one to have had to face a high school career that looks infinitely different than the one her brother (a senior) has enjoyed.
She’s our last, yes.
But she’s the one who is teaching us to savor the moments when we get to see her race on the track while we wear masks and socially distance.
She’s the one who is brave enough to lean in to hybrid learning, mask and all, so that we can figure out how best to educate our kids in the coming years.
And, yes, she’s our last one to go to high school but she’s the first one to teach us what we really need to know in the midst of a pandemic.
The lastest really is the bestest.
#lifewithteens
Let’s face it: I’m all in on the bullshit. (Th Let’s face it: I’m all in on the bullshit. (Thanks, @modernmommymadness for being all about the bullshit, too.) #backtoschool #parentingteens #momofteens #motherhoodunplugged #parenting #pandemicparenting #quaranteens #bullshitquotes #allaboutthebullshit #keeperofthefruitloops
School starts tomorrow and I am READY, bitchachos. School starts tomorrow and I am READY, bitchachos. 💪🏻🍷📚#backtoschool #letsdothis #itsgonnatakeavineyard #covidclassroom #covidclassof2021 #quaranteens #momofteens #parentingteens #senioryear🎓 #freshmanyear
Well played, universe. (via: @ramblinma) #momoftee Well played, universe. (via: @ramblinma) #momofteenagers #parentingteens #motherhoodunplugged #momofteens #momtruth #wtf #keeperofthefruitloops #teenagers🙄 #sendhelp
So. I did a thing today. I went to a NASCAR race. So.
I did a thing today.
I went to a NASCAR race.
My first.
During a pandemic.
I know, I can't believe it, either.
But, when you are married to a man who eats, sleeps, and breathes cars, eventually you come to a point in your marriage when you realize that a trip to a major speedway is a marital inevitability.
I managed to avoid it for 21 years but today was the day.
And I have thoughts, in no particular order:
1). I was not prepared for the noise of the engines. And by "noise," I mean the constant reverberation deep into your soul for three. solid. hours. Loud does not begin to cover it.
2). I watched 38 cars whizz by me 301 times. I enjoyed seeing #43 drive by 301 times. Car #32? Not so much (#32 finished 35th. I was fine with that).
3). Every single person in the grandstands complied with the mask restrictions. It's not that hard, people. I watched thousands of people do it today. You can, too.
4). We didn't see a single confederate flag. #FistBumpNASCAR 
5). I couldn't hear a thing my family said for three hours. Actually, almost four hours. This was a major bonus.
6). Earplugs are necessary. Again, see #5.
7). The universe did me a solid and provided me with an overcast day as I did my "wifely duty" and pretended to be interested in the parade of cars that monotonously sped by me every thirty seconds. If it had been 100 degrees (like it apparently was last year), this status would be very different.
8). 301 laps takes a really long time. Like, a really long time.
9). I think NASCAR would have a bigger fan base if they served frozé wine and provided charcuterie. Hear me out on this, NASCAR.
10). Watching my husband and Fruit Loop #1 scream at each other (because noise and ear plugs) and gesticulate wildly at whatever was happening on the track while they soaked in their first NASCAR race together made it all worth it. I think. #PleaseLetUsHaveUsedEnoughHandSanitizer.
#nascar #loudonspeedway #newhampshiremotorspeedway #nascarracing #nascarlife
Well behaved women never make history...or some sh Well behaved women never make history...or some shit like that. 😏 
#motherhoodunplugged #momtruth #nevershutup #keeperofthefruitloops #mouthybitch #speakyourtruth #speakup
143 days. I took this picture 143 days ago. I was 143 days.
I took this picture 143 days ago.
I was in Palm Springs and I had taken a tram ride with @mommybacktalk to San Jacinto National Park.
We hiked several miles for this view and I remember feeling relaxed and free of stress.
We were in PS to attend a conference and the whispers of an unknown virus were starting to swell.
“A virus out of China.”
“There’s no vaccine and it’s highly contagious. It could become a pandemic.”
“Wait. Corona is a beer...”
Though we didn’t shake hands with attendees, for the most part, we went about the business of “normal” life.
At a dinner with @monicagsakala and @mommybacktalk, we threw back glasses of wine and talked long into the night over gourmet macaroni and cheese that tasted like actual heaven on a fork.
We talked about politics, current events, and books we loved. No stories about kids, no griping about husbands. Just intelligent, stimulating conversation that I now realize was going to become a lifeline only a few weeks later.
I have no pictures of that dinner.
Just the memory of being with two good friends when life didn’t feel so fractured.
Now those friends are hours away, whether by car or plane, and I think about that night in CA almost every day.
The me from 143 days ago had no idea what was coming.
The me at the top of the mountain in the picture didn’t know that she should have savored the fresh air more, that she should have relished what it was like to be one in a crowd on a tram headed to scenic vistas.
I’ve been quiet here on IG because everything feels too much.
I’ve been trying to keep my family safe and maintain what’s left of my sanity in a world that feels prickly and dangerous.
I’ve been wearing a mask, using hand sanitizer, and obsessively watching the news for a sign that we are all going to be okay.
I’ve been looking for small pockets of joy in the middle of the dumpster fire that life has become.
And, I’m realizing that we are all climbing one hell of a mountain, together.
And, at some point, the view is going to be gorgeous.
We just have to keep climbing.
No matter how much our legs are telling us it's too hard to go on.
#keepclimbing
My old life was exhausting...what parts of your pr My old life was exhausting...what parts of your pre-quarantine life are you not going back to when your community opens up fully? @mommyneedsalife #quarantinelife #quarantineandchill #lifewithteens #parenting #parentingteens #momtruth #momhumor #momlife #motherhoodunplugged❤️
It was clear from the start that my kids got a goo It was clear from the start that my kids got a good one. ❤️ #happyfathersday2020 #pandemicparenting #lifewithteens #parentingteens #dadlifeisthebestlife #fathersday #fathersday2020 #quarantinelife
It’s not you, it’s me. Probably. @natecomedy # It’s not you, it’s me. Probably. @natecomedy #quarantinelife #pandemichumor😄 #lifewithteens #lifewithteenagers #momofteens #parentingteens #howcanimissyouifyouwontgoaway #momtruth #motherhoodunplugged
“Mom? Can I hang out with my friends tonight? I “Mom? Can I hang out with  my friends tonight? I need a ride.”
Those words seemed to be on auto repeat last summer.
He had a social life.
I had the driver’s license.
He wanted to stay a half hour later.
I gave him all kinds of hell for upending my evening so that he could hang for a bit more with his friends.
But then he bought his car.
And passed his driver’s test not long after.
My car hasn’t found him folding his lanky frame into the passenger seat in almost a year.
I miss seeing him there.
Tonight, I wanted to see my friends for a couple of socially distanced glasses of wine and I didn’t want to drive.
“Hey, I’d like to hang out with my friends tonight. Can you give me a ride?” I said to him.
And of course, he took every opportunity to give me a dose of my own medicine in jest:
“You know, I have plans this evening, too, Mom.”
“I want you outside by 830p because I’ll be waiting.”
“No, you can’t stay til 9, I don’t care what the other moms are doing.”
It was a full circle moment.
After he picked me up and we swung by the local ice cream shop so he could get a treat for him and his sister, we drove home with the windows down on a summer night.
For a few moments, it was like old times.
I’ve missed him, even though we’ve been home together for months in quarantine.
And when Def Leppard blared on the radio and he dialed it up while singing every word, I remembered what it was like to be seventeen. @joe_burke0227 
#lifewithteens #momofteens #quarantinelife #quaranteens #pandemiclife #parentinginquarantine #momtruth #motherhoodunplugged #momofteenslife
We can get new backpacks and lunch boxes, too, rig We can get new backpacks and lunch boxes, too, right? @ellie_schnitt #pandemic2020 #pandemiclife #quarantinelife #quarantineandchill #workfromhomemom #workfromhomelife #momofteens
#blackoutday2020 #blackoutday2020
Moms are gonna drop it like it’s hot, yo. #tgif Moms are gonna drop it like it’s hot, yo. #tgif #thankgoditsfriday #pandemiclife #quarantineandchill #quarantineandchill2020 #momlife #momtruth #lifewithteensandtweens #lifewithteens #letsgetthispartystarted🎉 #quarantinesucks😷
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