Keeper of the Fruit Loops

I am The Keeper of The Fruit Loops, Manager of the Fecal Roster and the Driver of the People Mover. In other words, I'm a mom.

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Everyone Needs To Be Rescued: My Skiing Adventure From Hell

January 10, 2020 By Christine 2 Comments

skiing

Seven years ago, I strapped on a set of ski boots and skis and immediately fell down a ski mountain. For real. Did I mention I suck at skiing? A little back information: though I grew up in the Northeast, my experience with skiing was limited to a few attempts in high school and college. […]

Filed Under: Parenting Is Hard Enough Tagged With: skiing, wtf

What Teens Need This Holiday Season: Pumpkin Pie and a “Check Up from The Neck Up”

November 18, 2019 By Christine 1 Comment

pumpkin pie

I was compensated by Med-IQ through an educational grant from Otsuka America Pharmaceutical, Inc. and Lundbeck to write about depression in college-aged students.  All opinions are my own. As I stood on the curb of my dormitory parking lot, I could see my dad’s car slowly making its way to me. I remember readjusting my […]

Filed Under: Holly Daze Tagged With: depression, teenagers, teens, thanksgiving

A Break Up Letter To The Elf On The Shelf: We Are So Over

November 1, 2019 By Christine 1 Comment

Elf on The Shelf with Christmas decorations

Dear Herbie the Elf, I feel as though it’s time we had a talk. I’ve been very unhappy for a very long time and I bet that if you were honest with yourself, you’d admit that you have known for a while that things were not right between us.  I’m sure that you’ve noticed that […]

Filed Under: Holly Daze Tagged With: Christmas, Elf On The Shelf, Holly Daze

Dear Publix: Thanks For Making College Parents Ugly Cry At The Holidays

October 23, 2019 By Christine Leave a Comment

ugly cry

The holidays are upon us and many of us are waiting anxiously for our college kids to barge in the front door yelling, “I’m home!” And, for those of us who sent our first kids off to college this fall, it can feel like an eternity as we count down the days to having all […]

Filed Under: Holly Daze Tagged With: Holly Daze, home for the holidays, thanksgiving

Grandparents Are The Real MVPs When It Comes To Raising Teens

October 19, 2019 By Christine Leave a Comment

Grandparents

When my husband and I were planning our wedding, our videographer asked us for pictures of us as kids for an opening montage he was planning. As my future mother in law and I combed through photo albums, it seemed every picture of my husband made her sigh even louder. As she reminisced, she told […]

Filed Under: Parenting Is Hard Enough

Beyond Flowers And Food: There’s Only So Much Lasagna You Can Eat In A Crisis

October 10, 2019 By Christine Leave a Comment

Bereavement gifts

On the day my father died, I drove to work on that crisp October morning with my mind fixated on the pumpkin spice coffee I was going to treat myself to on the way. “Maybe a muffin, too,” I thought. Why not?  I bustled into the office where I was subbing as a school nurse […]

Filed Under: Losing My Dad Tagged With: grief, grief sucks, grieving

I Didn’t Expect My Son’s Sixteenth Birthday To Hit Me So Hard

October 1, 2019 By Christine 2 Comments

Sixteenth birthday

As the waitress slipped the huge piece of chocolate cake across the table, the candle that she’d added illuminated my son’s teenaged face. With a big smile, he listened as we sang “Happy Birthday” to him and he eagerly tucked into the cake when we were finished. He joked that he’d probably need to order […]

Filed Under: Parenting Is Hard Enough Tagged With: teenagers

27 Reasons Prom Was Epic And Awesome In the 90s

September 1, 2019 By Christine 1 Comment

prom

Recently, I saw a friend’s post about how her son asked his girlfriend to prom and, I’m not going to lie: my husband didn’t go through nearly as much trouble when he asked me to marry him 25 years ago. Gone are the days when you stood by your locker and hoped that the cute […]

Filed Under: Parenting Is Hard Enough Tagged With: High School Daze

“Hootie and The Blowfish” Helped Me Grieve The Loss of My Dad

August 26, 2019 By Christine 2 Comments

Hootie

When I was in college, I fell in love with a guy named Hootie. And yes, back then, country music mega star Darius Rucker was known as Hootie, and yes, I realize that I’m showing my age when I call him Hootie. On any given day in my dorm room circa mid 1990s, the sounds […]

Filed Under: Losing My Dad Tagged With: grief, grieving

The “Golden Girls” Taught Me What I Need To Know About Raising Teens

August 14, 2019 By Christine 1 Comment

Golden Girls

In my house, Saturday night prime time television shows were sacred in our house. My brothers and I would put on our pajamas, make popcorn in the air popper and crowd around on the floor while my parents settled in on the couch. I can still feel my teenaged brothers elbowing me to make room […]

Filed Under: Parenting My Way Tagged With: parenting, teenagers

Five Not So Secret Ways To Convince Your Teen To Communicate

August 4, 2019 By Christine 1 Comment

communicate

It’s an age old trope: teens, by nature, don’t communicate and it’s impossible to get them to open up once they turn 13. You hear rumors from other moms that raising a teen means accepting that he or she will clam up for the entirety their teenage years.  When my kids approached their teen years, I […]

Filed Under: Parenting Is Hard Enough Tagged With: teenagers

The Day I Realized My Teen Needed Me to Help Him With His Mental Health

August 1, 2019 By Christine 4 Comments

mental health

This is a sponsored post. I was compensated by Med-IQ through an educational grant from Otsuka America Pharmaceutical, Inc. and Lundbeck to write about depression in college-aged students.   All opinions are my own “I’m exhausted, Mom. I can’t do it all. And all I keep hearing from my teachers is that I’m not committed enough. […]

Filed Under: Uncategorized

If You Don’t Have A Best Friend While Parenting Teens, You Won’t Survive

July 21, 2019 By Christine 1 Comment

best friend

I looked at the text from my best friend and immediately started laughing. “I’m on a college visit and I just want you to know that we are in over our heads. Did you know dorm rooms have granite countertops now?” She proceeded to tell me that she felt like she was living that nightmare […]

Filed Under: Parenting My Way Tagged With: friendship

I’m Just Going To Say It: High School Was Better (and Easier) in the 90s.

July 16, 2019 By Christine 5 Comments

high school

On my way to my bedroom late one night, I saw the familiar sliver of light coming from my son’s room. Burning the midnight oil again, I thought. When I cracked the door open, I found him hunched over his computer, eyes bloodshot and tired, furiously typing on the keyboard. I ruffled his curls and told […]

Filed Under: Parenting Is Hard Enough Tagged With: teenagers

Twenty Years and Two Teens Later, These Are My New Marriage Vows

June 30, 2019 By Christine 5 Comments

Marriage vows

This year, my husband and I will celebrate twenty years of marriage and we’ve had many discussions about how to mark the occasion. Should we take a trip? Should we throw a big party? What is the best way to commemorate the fact that our marriage has outlasted three washing machines and two water heaters? […]

Filed Under: Parenting Is Hard Enough Tagged With: marriage

Hubby And I Disagree About Alcohol And Our Teens And It’s Stressful

June 23, 2019 By Christine 4 Comments

alcohol

When I was fourteen, I attended a cast party after a high school theater production. When I walked into the house in my white Keds (with friendship pins) and my jeans rolled just so, the parents of the hostess directed me to the back patio where the party was being held under the starry spring […]

Filed Under: Parenting Is Hard Enough Tagged With: teens

My Teen Is Dating And I’m Pretty Sure I’m Embarrassing AF

June 9, 2019 By Christine Leave a Comment

Embarrassing

I knew this day would come but I didn’t think it would happen so fast. It seems like just yesterday my little boy was sitting next to me, in overalls and holding a Thomas train, gazing at me with love and affection. The day he promised to marry me made my heart sink because I […]

Filed Under: Parenting Is Hard Enough, Parenting My Way Tagged With: teenagers

Your First Child Can Make You Feel Like You Are Screwing It All Up

June 2, 2019 By Christine 1 Comment

Screwing up

When the nurse handed me my son after delivery, I panicked. I felt my heart start to race, my hands started to shake and I could feel sweat forming on my forehead.  “Am I holding him the right way? What if I don’t know what he needs? What if I screw him up?” I looked […]

Filed Under: Parenting Is Hard Enough Tagged With: teens

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Top Posts & Pages

  • Everyone Needs To Be Rescued: My Skiing Adventure From Hell
    Everyone Needs To Be Rescued: My Skiing Adventure From Hell
  • Itching from The Inside Out, Part 2: Climbing the Ladder of Atopic Dermatitis Treatment
    Itching from The Inside Out, Part 2: Climbing the Ladder of Atopic Dermatitis Treatment
  • 10 Parenting Truths Other Mothers Won't Tell You...But I Will
    10 Parenting Truths Other Mothers Won't Tell You...But I Will
  • I Miss The Noise and It's Too Quiet
    I Miss The Noise and It's Too Quiet
  • An Adult Ruined Christmas For My Daughter And I'm Still Angry
    An Adult Ruined Christmas For My Daughter And I'm Still Angry

The Keeper on Instagram!

fruitloopkeeper

Nurse. Wife. Mom. Runner. Blogger. Writer. Thrift Shop Junkie. Sauvignon Blanc Snob.
Social Media Manager for @hermoneymedia and @jeanchatzky.

It’s time to let the world swallow your whole s It’s time to let the world swallow your  whole self, bitchachos. And you can hand the haters a glass of milk if they are having trouble. #bringit #momtruth #parentingtruth #iamwhoiam #nojoke #mywholeself
Can we all agree that our pets are the real winner Can we all agree that our pets are the real winners of the quarantine?
For six months, this dog has had four people to cuddle her, give her treats, and take her for walks at the drop of a hat. And she does not care if she interrupts a Zoom call to protect us from the UPS guy.
And, yes, she’s been forced to take more selfies than she’d like but sorry not sorry, #daisytheshihtzu.
What are these pets gonna do if we ever have to go back to “real” life?
#petsofinstagram #shihtzusofinstagram #shihtzulovers #shihtzusgram_feature #quarantinelife #petsofquarantine #lifewithdaisy
No words. RIP, #rbg. Fly with the angels and rest No words. RIP, #rbg. Fly with the angels and rest easy. We won’t let you down. Also? SOMEONE FIND BETTY WHITE RIGHT NOW. #ruthbaderginsburg #suckit2020 #wtf #notoriousrbg #ruthbaderginsburgismyhero
When I was thinking about how I wanted to write ab When I was thinking about how I wanted to write about eczema for a project with @mediqcme, I was reminded of a time a few years ago when I had the world’s worst case of poison ivy.
After a marathon session of gardening, I’d managed to swipe a huge swath of poison ivy oil across my chest, left flank, and left side of my face.
Within days, I was in agony: huge, weeping crusted pustules covered my body and as the days turned into weeks, my skin screamed at me for attention at every given moment.
I couldn’t sleep.
I couldn’t wear my favorite clothing because my lesions were constantly weeping.
And then came the steroids.
That’s when the real hell began. I’m a high energy person without the aid of stimulants (I really should switch to decaf, I know) and steroids make me a next-level handful, trust me.
For six weeks, every decision I made revolved around my skin: how to sit comfortably, what position made sleep come more easily, even bathing became a chore because nothing helped allay the itch that seemed to come from the inside out.
I was miserable, yes, but thankfully, I eventually healed and soon forgot about my six weeks of poison ivy hell.
But, 9-year-old Elizabeth told me that living with atopic dermatitis means that itching from the inside out is a way of life for her and, in her words, itchy skin makes her feel “bad” most of the time.
Head to my IG stories to read more about life with #atopicdermatitis and how it affects almost 31 million Americans (10 million of which are kids).
#itchyskinhelp #chroniceczema #eczema #eczemarelief #atopicdermatitistreatment
Why is it that when the temp dips to 50 degrees in Why is it that when the temp dips to 50 degrees in September, I can’t wait to wear sweaters and scarves but, in April, I’m pretty much wearing shorts and tank tops?
#hardhittingquestions #fallproblems #sweaterweather #falllife #fallfashion #fallvibes #conundrum #yorkbeach #yorkbeachme
Do you have eczema? Does someone you know and love Do you have eczema? Does someone you know and love have atopic dermatitis, a chronic skin condition that affects more than 31 million Americans? 

Join me Tuesday, September 15 at 2p EST for a very special FB live conversation about Atopic Dermatitis with Dr. Peter Lio, Asst. Professor of Dermatology and Pediatrics at @northwesternu. 

We will be discussing what atopic dermatitis is, how it affects families, and the resources that you can trust if you, your kids, or family members are navigating a new (or ongoing) atopic dermatitis diagnosis.

Bring your questions because we will be answering them live!

Special thanks to @mediqcme for making this discussion possible!
#itchyskinhelp
On the day my son was born, my father sent us a ca On the day my son was born, my father sent us a card.
“You’ll always remember the firsts but the lasts are the most precious,” he wrote.
She’s our last.
She was the last baby to walk with her fat feet on our hardwood floors.
She was the last one to go to kindergarten.
She was the one who napped on the go as her brother attended Mommy and Me classes and soccer practices.
She was the last one to have a single digit birthday in our house.
But for all of the firsts that have been afforded to her brother, she’s our first in so many ways.
She’s the first one to navigate freshman year during a hybrid school system in the midst of a pandemic.
She’s the first one to forge her way on a cross country team with teammates who have never had to race virtually.
She’s the first one to have had to face a high school career that looks infinitely different than the one her brother (a senior) has enjoyed.
She’s our last, yes.
But she’s the one who is teaching us to savor the moments when we get to see her race on the track while we wear masks and socially distance.
She’s the one who is brave enough to lean in to hybrid learning, mask and all, so that we can figure out how best to educate our kids in the coming years.
And, yes, she’s our last one to go to high school but she’s the first one to teach us what we really need to know in the midst of a pandemic.
The lastest really is the bestest.
#lifewithteens
Let’s face it: I’m all in on the bullshit. (Th Let’s face it: I’m all in on the bullshit. (Thanks, @modernmommymadness for being all about the bullshit, too.) #backtoschool #parentingteens #momofteens #motherhoodunplugged #parenting #pandemicparenting #quaranteens #bullshitquotes #allaboutthebullshit #keeperofthefruitloops
School starts tomorrow and I am READY, bitchachos. School starts tomorrow and I am READY, bitchachos. 💪🏻🍷📚#backtoschool #letsdothis #itsgonnatakeavineyard #covidclassroom #covidclassof2021 #quaranteens #momofteens #parentingteens #senioryear🎓 #freshmanyear
Well played, universe. (via: @ramblinma) #momoftee Well played, universe. (via: @ramblinma) #momofteenagers #parentingteens #motherhoodunplugged #momofteens #momtruth #wtf #keeperofthefruitloops #teenagers🙄 #sendhelp
So. I did a thing today. I went to a NASCAR race. So.
I did a thing today.
I went to a NASCAR race.
My first.
During a pandemic.
I know, I can't believe it, either.
But, when you are married to a man who eats, sleeps, and breathes cars, eventually you come to a point in your marriage when you realize that a trip to a major speedway is a marital inevitability.
I managed to avoid it for 21 years but today was the day.
And I have thoughts, in no particular order:
1). I was not prepared for the noise of the engines. And by "noise," I mean the constant reverberation deep into your soul for three. solid. hours. Loud does not begin to cover it.
2). I watched 38 cars whizz by me 301 times. I enjoyed seeing #43 drive by 301 times. Car #32? Not so much (#32 finished 35th. I was fine with that).
3). Every single person in the grandstands complied with the mask restrictions. It's not that hard, people. I watched thousands of people do it today. You can, too.
4). We didn't see a single confederate flag. #FistBumpNASCAR 
5). I couldn't hear a thing my family said for three hours. Actually, almost four hours. This was a major bonus.
6). Earplugs are necessary. Again, see #5.
7). The universe did me a solid and provided me with an overcast day as I did my "wifely duty" and pretended to be interested in the parade of cars that monotonously sped by me every thirty seconds. If it had been 100 degrees (like it apparently was last year), this status would be very different.
8). 301 laps takes a really long time. Like, a really long time.
9). I think NASCAR would have a bigger fan base if they served frozé wine and provided charcuterie. Hear me out on this, NASCAR.
10). Watching my husband and Fruit Loop #1 scream at each other (because noise and ear plugs) and gesticulate wildly at whatever was happening on the track while they soaked in their first NASCAR race together made it all worth it. I think. #PleaseLetUsHaveUsedEnoughHandSanitizer.
#nascar #loudonspeedway #newhampshiremotorspeedway #nascarracing #nascarlife
Well behaved women never make history...or some sh Well behaved women never make history...or some shit like that. 😏 
#motherhoodunplugged #momtruth #nevershutup #keeperofthefruitloops #mouthybitch #speakyourtruth #speakup
143 days. I took this picture 143 days ago. I was 143 days.
I took this picture 143 days ago.
I was in Palm Springs and I had taken a tram ride with @mommybacktalk to San Jacinto National Park.
We hiked several miles for this view and I remember feeling relaxed and free of stress.
We were in PS to attend a conference and the whispers of an unknown virus were starting to swell.
“A virus out of China.”
“There’s no vaccine and it’s highly contagious. It could become a pandemic.”
“Wait. Corona is a beer...”
Though we didn’t shake hands with attendees, for the most part, we went about the business of “normal” life.
At a dinner with @monicagsakala and @mommybacktalk, we threw back glasses of wine and talked long into the night over gourmet macaroni and cheese that tasted like actual heaven on a fork.
We talked about politics, current events, and books we loved. No stories about kids, no griping about husbands. Just intelligent, stimulating conversation that I now realize was going to become a lifeline only a few weeks later.
I have no pictures of that dinner.
Just the memory of being with two good friends when life didn’t feel so fractured.
Now those friends are hours away, whether by car or plane, and I think about that night in CA almost every day.
The me from 143 days ago had no idea what was coming.
The me at the top of the mountain in the picture didn’t know that she should have savored the fresh air more, that she should have relished what it was like to be one in a crowd on a tram headed to scenic vistas.
I’ve been quiet here on IG because everything feels too much.
I’ve been trying to keep my family safe and maintain what’s left of my sanity in a world that feels prickly and dangerous.
I’ve been wearing a mask, using hand sanitizer, and obsessively watching the news for a sign that we are all going to be okay.
I’ve been looking for small pockets of joy in the middle of the dumpster fire that life has become.
And, I’m realizing that we are all climbing one hell of a mountain, together.
And, at some point, the view is going to be gorgeous.
We just have to keep climbing.
No matter how much our legs are telling us it's too hard to go on.
#keepclimbing
My old life was exhausting...what parts of your pr My old life was exhausting...what parts of your pre-quarantine life are you not going back to when your community opens up fully? @mommyneedsalife #quarantinelife #quarantineandchill #lifewithteens #parenting #parentingteens #momtruth #momhumor #momlife #motherhoodunplugged❤️
It was clear from the start that my kids got a goo It was clear from the start that my kids got a good one. ❤️ #happyfathersday2020 #pandemicparenting #lifewithteens #parentingteens #dadlifeisthebestlife #fathersday #fathersday2020 #quarantinelife
It’s not you, it’s me. Probably. @natecomedy # It’s not you, it’s me. Probably. @natecomedy #quarantinelife #pandemichumor😄 #lifewithteens #lifewithteenagers #momofteens #parentingteens #howcanimissyouifyouwontgoaway #momtruth #motherhoodunplugged
“Mom? Can I hang out with my friends tonight? I “Mom? Can I hang out with  my friends tonight? I need a ride.”
Those words seemed to be on auto repeat last summer.
He had a social life.
I had the driver’s license.
He wanted to stay a half hour later.
I gave him all kinds of hell for upending my evening so that he could hang for a bit more with his friends.
But then he bought his car.
And passed his driver’s test not long after.
My car hasn’t found him folding his lanky frame into the passenger seat in almost a year.
I miss seeing him there.
Tonight, I wanted to see my friends for a couple of socially distanced glasses of wine and I didn’t want to drive.
“Hey, I’d like to hang out with my friends tonight. Can you give me a ride?” I said to him.
And of course, he took every opportunity to give me a dose of my own medicine in jest:
“You know, I have plans this evening, too, Mom.”
“I want you outside by 830p because I’ll be waiting.”
“No, you can’t stay til 9, I don’t care what the other moms are doing.”
It was a full circle moment.
After he picked me up and we swung by the local ice cream shop so he could get a treat for him and his sister, we drove home with the windows down on a summer night.
For a few moments, it was like old times.
I’ve missed him, even though we’ve been home together for months in quarantine.
And when Def Leppard blared on the radio and he dialed it up while singing every word, I remembered what it was like to be seventeen. @joe_burke0227 
#lifewithteens #momofteens #quarantinelife #quaranteens #pandemiclife #parentinginquarantine #momtruth #motherhoodunplugged #momofteenslife
We can get new backpacks and lunch boxes, too, rig We can get new backpacks and lunch boxes, too, right? @ellie_schnitt #pandemic2020 #pandemiclife #quarantinelife #quarantineandchill #workfromhomemom #workfromhomelife #momofteens
#blackoutday2020 #blackoutday2020
Moms are gonna drop it like it’s hot, yo. #tgif Moms are gonna drop it like it’s hot, yo. #tgif #thankgoditsfriday #pandemiclife #quarantineandchill #quarantineandchill2020 #momlife #momtruth #lifewithteensandtweens #lifewithteens #letsgetthispartystarted🎉 #quarantinesucks😷
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