They say first impressions are everything. That a first meeting, glance or encounter will make or break your relationship. Sometimes, you get to have a moment in time when your first impression is so lasting, that it makes you laugh when you recall how great the encounter was, even months later. My first impression of […]
The Keeper And Real Life Parenting
Sometimes, you meet a blogger and you think to yourself, “Man, she says EXACTLY what’s in my head. Loud and proud”. You think, “Wow. I have ALWAYS felt that way but sort of didn’t know it until RIGHT NOW as I’m reading this blog and nodding my head the entire way through”. And then, you […]
ApPARENT Loss
In the last six months, I’ve had seven friends lose their mothers unexpectedly, the most recent of which was this past Friday. Seven friends. That boils down to *almost* once a month since the beginning of the year that I’ve gotten a phone call that a friend is in crisis. Seven close friends who have […]
The Keeper and Dried On Milk
I have a dividing line in my life when it comes to my friends. I have In Real Life Friends, people I see daily and with whom I have real live conversations. I know what their laughter sounds like, their facial gestures and the nuances of their humor. I love my IRL friends long time. […]
Keeper of The Fruit Loops 2.0!
In the last few weeks, there have been MAJOR changes happening here at Keeper of The Fruit Loops Corporate Headquarters. Ma-jor. The first big change is that I actually acquired an office here at KOTFL Corporate. I guess all the brown nosing to my boss and remembering to keep the copy machine filled with paper […]
The Keeper and est1975
I have a confession. I eat at McDonald’s every now and again. And I let my kids eat there, too. Did all my organic, crunchy, tree hugging, vegan followers just drop dead? I know I’m supposed to say that I’m offended that McDonald’s makes the food that makes us fat. I know I’m obligated to complain […]
Loops And Tents and Bears, Oh My!
I loathe camping. This is not a new revelation and we know Laura Ingalls, I Am Not. The Fruit Loops, however, love camping. No, scratch that. They luuuurve camping. This presents a major issue in the summer weather during prime “sleep outside under the stars, next to mosquitos, bears, rabbits and other outdoor fauna while […]
Busted
A funny thing happens when you become a parent. Things change. A lot. For instance, you can’t easily get in and out of a convenience store for a cup of coffee. You can’t shop at Target for under $300. Swearing is harder. Your television that used to house Law and Order marathons becomes overrun with […]
The Keeper Is Outmanned
We’ve all had a first date. Not just a first date with a new prospect but a FIRST first date. Like, when you were 14. With acne. And braces. Show of hands: who’s FIRST first date was awkward, sweaty and replete with far too much aftershave and perfume? Hmm. Everyone’s hands are raised. That’s […]
Bad Sandy and The Keeper
Remember the movie “Grease”? Remember “Good Sandy”? You know, all blonde, prim, proper and dainty singing “Hopelessly Devoted To You” into a pool in the backyard? Remember “Bad Sandy”? Black leather pants, red hooker heels and curly hair singing to John Travolta and then disappearing off into the sky in a 57 Chevy? (Note: the […]
Suck It, Betty Crocker, There’s A New Baker On The Block (Me, Ahem)
I have a secret. I’m an Overachieving Mom. Yep. Totes Magoats. A bonafide OAM. Feels good to get that off my chest. And now I want to be famous on a You Tube channel. Let me explain. This morning, I was reading People magazine (do not judge me: I read it for the Puzzler Crossword […]
Foxy and The Keeper
Today is a VERY BIG day. A very big day indeed. I am unveiling a BRANDY NEW feature on my blog: TRIBE TUESDAY! How very exciting, right? I know, I should explain. When I signed up for The Blog University at the beginning of June, I knew it would revolutionize my blogging, make me famous […]
Mom Bullies Suck
We talk a lot about bullying these days. A lot.< Mostly, in relation to kids and teenagers. We hear stories everyday about kids who are tormented by their peers for everything from their shoes to their sexual orientation to the type of house their parents own. Bullying itself is not new. Not by a long […]
Road Trips Were Different When I Was A Teen And I’m Grateful
My dad loved a good road trip. When I was young, he’d spend months planning cross country trips for us to take every July. Since this was in the era before smart phones, Expedia.com and Google, he’d plan every trip with an actual map, usually on the john. He’d collect articles during the year of […]
I Make No Apologies For Being A Selfish Mother (You Shouldn’t Either)
I think I might be a selfish mom. Scratch that. I know that I’m a selfish mom. I know this because, last night, when it came to dessert, I took the biggest bowl of ice cream for myself. And I didn’t give it to my husband. Or the Fruit Loops. I took it for me. […]
Lost And Still Not Found
I don’t lose things. Ever. Like, ever. As we speak, Fruit Loop #2 is running around the backyard wearing the earrings I had my ears pierced in when I was nine. When she flops on her bed to read, she lights her copy of Ramona and Her Mother that I gave her with the lamp […]
The “Don’t Kill Your Kids” Summer Book List
For as long as I can remember, reading has been my salvation. In fact, my earliest memory is that of my then eighteen month self sitting in a play pen on a hot summer’s day while looking at the Golden Book “The Poky Little Puppy”. For a shy girl who moved a lot growing up, […]
American Girl = I’m In Hell
I dislike a lot of things: bugs with more than four legs, the sound of snow crunching, Justin Bieber, and chocolate raspberry anything. I hate when the garbage smells like a dead body is rotting and it’s four more days until collection day. I hate toddler underwear with skid marks, when my DVR screws up […]
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