Keeper of the Fruit Loops

I am The Keeper of The Fruit Loops, Manager of the Fecal Roster and the Driver of the People Mover. In other words, I'm a mom.

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The Keeper and Somewhat Sane Mom

August 12, 2014 By Christine 10 Comments

They say first impressions are everything.  That a first meeting, glance or encounter will make or break your relationship. Sometimes, you get to have a moment in time when your first impression is so lasting, that it makes you laugh when you recall how great the encounter was, even months later. My first impression of […]

Filed Under: Tribe Tuesday Tagged With: Somewhat Sane Mom

The Keeper And Real Life Parenting

August 5, 2014 By Christine 25 Comments

Sometimes, you meet a blogger and you think to yourself, “Man, she says EXACTLY what’s in my head.  Loud and proud”. You think, “Wow.  I have ALWAYS felt that way but sort of didn’t know it until RIGHT NOW as I’m reading this blog and nodding my head the entire way through”. And then, you […]

Filed Under: Tribe Tuesday Tagged With: Life, parenting, Real

ApPARENT Loss

July 30, 2014 By Christine 37 Comments

In the last six months, I’ve had seven friends lose their mothers unexpectedly, the most recent of which was this past Friday. Seven friends.  That boils down to *almost* once a month since the beginning of the year that I’ve gotten a phone call that a friend is in crisis. Seven close friends who have […]

Filed Under: Losing My Dad Tagged With: death, friendship, grief

The Keeper and Dried On Milk

July 29, 2014 By Christine 17 Comments

I have a dividing line in my life when it comes to my friends.  I have In Real Life Friends, people I see daily and with whom I have real live conversations.  I know what their laughter sounds like, their facial gestures and the nuances of their humor.  I love my IRL friends long time. […]

Filed Under: Tribe Tuesday Tagged With: dried, milk, on

Keeper of The Fruit Loops 2.0!

July 25, 2014 By Christine 22 Comments

In the last few weeks, there have been MAJOR changes happening here at Keeper of The Fruit Loops Corporate Headquarters. Ma-jor. The first big change is that I actually acquired an office here at KOTFL Corporate.  I guess all the brown nosing to my boss and remembering to keep the copy machine filled with paper […]

Filed Under: The Keeper News Tagged With: blog, Julie Deneen, new

The Keeper and est1975

July 22, 2014 By Christine 1 Comment

I have a confession. I eat at McDonald’s every now and again. And I let my kids eat there, too. Did all my organic, crunchy, tree hugging, vegan followers just drop dead? I know I’m supposed to say that I’m offended that McDonald’s makes the food that makes us fat.  I know I’m obligated to complain […]

Filed Under: Tribe Tuesday Tagged With: fast food, McDonald's

Loops And Tents and Bears, Oh My!

July 21, 2014 By Christine Leave a Comment

I loathe camping.  This is not a new revelation and we know Laura Ingalls, I Am Not. The Fruit Loops, however, love camping.  No, scratch that.  They luuuurve camping. This presents a major issue in the summer weather during prime “sleep outside under the stars, next to mosquitos, bears, rabbits and other outdoor fauna while […]

Filed Under: Parenting Is Hard Enough, Parenting My Way Tagged With: bears, camping, lions, tigers

Busted

July 9, 2014 By Christine 4 Comments

A funny thing happens when you become a parent. Things change. A lot. For instance, you can’t easily get in and out of a convenience store for a cup of coffee. You can’t shop at Target for under $300. Swearing is harder. Your television that used to house Law and Order marathons becomes overrun with […]

Filed Under: Behind Closed Doors Tagged With: busted, getting caught, sex

The Keeper Is Outmanned

July 8, 2014 By Christine 2 Comments

We’ve all had a first date. Not just a first date with a new prospect but a FIRST first date. Like, when you were 14.  With acne.  And braces.    Show of hands:  who’s FIRST first date was awkward, sweaty and replete with far too much aftershave and perfume? Hmm.  Everyone’s hands are raised.  That’s […]

Filed Under: Tribe Tuesday, Uncategorized Tagged With: Outmanned

Bad Sandy and The Keeper

July 1, 2014 By Christine Leave a Comment

Remember the movie “Grease”? Remember “Good Sandy”?  You know, all blonde, prim, proper and dainty singing “Hopelessly Devoted To You” into a pool in the backyard? Remember “Bad Sandy”?  Black leather pants, red hooker heels and curly hair singing to John Travolta and then disappearing off into the sky in a 57 Chevy? (Note:  the […]

Filed Under: Tribe Tuesday Tagged With: bad, leather pants, sandy

Suck It, Betty Crocker, There’s A New Baker On The Block (Me, Ahem)

June 25, 2014 By Christine 2 Comments

I have a secret. I’m an Overachieving Mom. Yep. Totes Magoats. A bonafide OAM. Feels good to get that off my chest. And now I want to be famous on a You Tube channel. Let me explain. This morning, I was reading People magazine (do not judge me:  I read it for the Puzzler Crossword […]

Filed Under: Parenting Is Hard Enough Tagged With: cake decorating, Suck It, You Tube

Foxy and The Keeper

June 24, 2014 By Christine 3 Comments

Today is a VERY BIG day. A very big day indeed. I am unveiling a BRANDY NEW feature on my blog:  TRIBE TUESDAY! How very exciting, right? I know, I should explain. When I signed up for The Blog University at the beginning of June, I knew it would revolutionize my blogging, make me famous […]

Filed Under: Tribe Tuesday Tagged With: foxy, pocket, wine

Mom Bullies Suck

June 13, 2014 By Christine 3 Comments

We talk a lot about bullying these days. A lot.< Mostly, in relation to kids and teenagers.  We hear stories everyday about kids who are tormented by their peers for everything from their shoes to their sexual orientation to the type of house their parents own.  Bullying itself is not new.  Not by a long […]

Filed Under: People Who Suck Tagged With: bullies, moms, parenting

Road Trips Were Different When I Was A Teen And I’m Grateful

June 11, 2014 By Christine 2 Comments

Arizona open road

My dad loved a good road trip. When I was young, he’d spend months planning cross country trips for us to take every July. Since this was in the era before smart phones, Expedia.com and Google, he’d plan every trip with an actual map, usually on the john. He’d collect articles during the year of […]

Filed Under: Losing My Dad Tagged With: dad, grief, loss, road trip

I Make No Apologies For Being A Selfish Mother (You Shouldn’t Either)

June 5, 2014 By Christine 61 Comments

Woman at sunset feeling selfish

I think I might be a selfish mom. Scratch that. I know that I’m a selfish mom. I know this because, last night, when it came to dessert, I took the biggest bowl of ice cream for myself.  And I didn’t give it to my husband. Or the Fruit Loops. I took it for me. […]

Filed Under: Parenting Is Hard Enough, Parenting My Way Tagged With: mom, parenting, selfish

Lost And Still Not Found

June 2, 2014 By Christine 2 Comments

I don’t lose things. Ever. Like, ever. As we speak, Fruit Loop #2 is running around the backyard wearing the earrings I had my ears pierced in when I was nine.  When she flops on her bed to read, she lights her copy of Ramona and Her Mother that I gave her with the lamp […]

Filed Under: Behind Closed Doors Tagged With: lost, wedding rings

The “Don’t Kill Your Kids” Summer Book List

May 28, 2014 By Christine 3 Comments

For as long as I can remember, reading has been my salvation.  In fact, my earliest memory is that of my then eighteen month self sitting in a play pen on a hot summer’s day while looking at the Golden Book “The Poky Little Puppy”.  For a shy girl who moved a lot growing up, […]

Filed Under: I Just Want To Be Alone Tagged With: authors, be alone, books

American Girl = I’m In Hell

May 21, 2014 By Christine 5 Comments

I dislike a lot of things:  bugs with more than four legs, the sound of snow crunching, Justin Bieber, and chocolate raspberry anything.  I hate when the garbage smells like a dead body is rotting and it’s four more days until collection day.  I hate toddler underwear with skid marks, when my DVR screws up […]

Filed Under: Parenting Is Hard Enough Tagged With: american, doll, girl, hell

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Top Posts & Pages

  • Itching from The Inside Out, Part 2: Climbing the Ladder of Atopic Dermatitis Treatment
    Itching from The Inside Out, Part 2: Climbing the Ladder of Atopic Dermatitis Treatment
  • The Pandemic Has Made Me Miss My Morning Routine With My Teens
    The Pandemic Has Made Me Miss My Morning Routine With My Teens
  • 10 Parenting Truths Other Mothers Won't Tell You...But I Will
    10 Parenting Truths Other Mothers Won't Tell You...But I Will
  • Four Words That Helped My Find My Faith Again
    Four Words That Helped My Find My Faith Again
  • Itching from The Inside Out: What It’s Like to Live with Atopic Dermatitis
    Itching from The Inside Out: What It’s Like to Live with Atopic Dermatitis

The Keeper on Instagram!

fruitloopkeeper

Nurse. Wife. Mom. Runner. Blogger. Writer. Thrift Shop Junkie. Sauvignon Blanc Snob.
Social Media Manager for @hermoneymedia and @jeanchatzky.

It’s time to let the world swallow your whole s It’s time to let the world swallow your  whole self, bitchachos. And you can hand the haters a glass of milk if they are having trouble. #bringit #momtruth #parentingtruth #iamwhoiam #nojoke #mywholeself
Can we all agree that our pets are the real winner Can we all agree that our pets are the real winners of the quarantine?
For six months, this dog has had four people to cuddle her, give her treats, and take her for walks at the drop of a hat. And she does not care if she interrupts a Zoom call to protect us from the UPS guy.
And, yes, she’s been forced to take more selfies than she’d like but sorry not sorry, #daisytheshihtzu.
What are these pets gonna do if we ever have to go back to “real” life?
#petsofinstagram #shihtzusofinstagram #shihtzulovers #shihtzusgram_feature #quarantinelife #petsofquarantine #lifewithdaisy
No words. RIP, #rbg. Fly with the angels and rest No words. RIP, #rbg. Fly with the angels and rest easy. We won’t let you down. Also? SOMEONE FIND BETTY WHITE RIGHT NOW. #ruthbaderginsburg #suckit2020 #wtf #notoriousrbg #ruthbaderginsburgismyhero
When I was thinking about how I wanted to write ab When I was thinking about how I wanted to write about eczema for a project with @mediqcme, I was reminded of a time a few years ago when I had the world’s worst case of poison ivy.
After a marathon session of gardening, I’d managed to swipe a huge swath of poison ivy oil across my chest, left flank, and left side of my face.
Within days, I was in agony: huge, weeping crusted pustules covered my body and as the days turned into weeks, my skin screamed at me for attention at every given moment.
I couldn’t sleep.
I couldn’t wear my favorite clothing because my lesions were constantly weeping.
And then came the steroids.
That’s when the real hell began. I’m a high energy person without the aid of stimulants (I really should switch to decaf, I know) and steroids make me a next-level handful, trust me.
For six weeks, every decision I made revolved around my skin: how to sit comfortably, what position made sleep come more easily, even bathing became a chore because nothing helped allay the itch that seemed to come from the inside out.
I was miserable, yes, but thankfully, I eventually healed and soon forgot about my six weeks of poison ivy hell.
But, 9-year-old Elizabeth told me that living with atopic dermatitis means that itching from the inside out is a way of life for her and, in her words, itchy skin makes her feel “bad” most of the time.
Head to my IG stories to read more about life with #atopicdermatitis and how it affects almost 31 million Americans (10 million of which are kids).
#itchyskinhelp #chroniceczema #eczema #eczemarelief #atopicdermatitistreatment
Why is it that when the temp dips to 50 degrees in Why is it that when the temp dips to 50 degrees in September, I can’t wait to wear sweaters and scarves but, in April, I’m pretty much wearing shorts and tank tops?
#hardhittingquestions #fallproblems #sweaterweather #falllife #fallfashion #fallvibes #conundrum #yorkbeach #yorkbeachme
Do you have eczema? Does someone you know and love Do you have eczema? Does someone you know and love have atopic dermatitis, a chronic skin condition that affects more than 31 million Americans? 

Join me Tuesday, September 15 at 2p EST for a very special FB live conversation about Atopic Dermatitis with Dr. Peter Lio, Asst. Professor of Dermatology and Pediatrics at @northwesternu. 

We will be discussing what atopic dermatitis is, how it affects families, and the resources that you can trust if you, your kids, or family members are navigating a new (or ongoing) atopic dermatitis diagnosis.

Bring your questions because we will be answering them live!

Special thanks to @mediqcme for making this discussion possible!
#itchyskinhelp
On the day my son was born, my father sent us a ca On the day my son was born, my father sent us a card.
“You’ll always remember the firsts but the lasts are the most precious,” he wrote.
She’s our last.
She was the last baby to walk with her fat feet on our hardwood floors.
She was the last one to go to kindergarten.
She was the one who napped on the go as her brother attended Mommy and Me classes and soccer practices.
She was the last one to have a single digit birthday in our house.
But for all of the firsts that have been afforded to her brother, she’s our first in so many ways.
She’s the first one to navigate freshman year during a hybrid school system in the midst of a pandemic.
She’s the first one to forge her way on a cross country team with teammates who have never had to race virtually.
She’s the first one to have had to face a high school career that looks infinitely different than the one her brother (a senior) has enjoyed.
She’s our last, yes.
But she’s the one who is teaching us to savor the moments when we get to see her race on the track while we wear masks and socially distance.
She’s the one who is brave enough to lean in to hybrid learning, mask and all, so that we can figure out how best to educate our kids in the coming years.
And, yes, she’s our last one to go to high school but she’s the first one to teach us what we really need to know in the midst of a pandemic.
The lastest really is the bestest.
#lifewithteens
Let’s face it: I’m all in on the bullshit. (Th Let’s face it: I’m all in on the bullshit. (Thanks, @modernmommymadness for being all about the bullshit, too.) #backtoschool #parentingteens #momofteens #motherhoodunplugged #parenting #pandemicparenting #quaranteens #bullshitquotes #allaboutthebullshit #keeperofthefruitloops
School starts tomorrow and I am READY, bitchachos. School starts tomorrow and I am READY, bitchachos. 💪🏻🍷📚#backtoschool #letsdothis #itsgonnatakeavineyard #covidclassroom #covidclassof2021 #quaranteens #momofteens #parentingteens #senioryear🎓 #freshmanyear
Well played, universe. (via: @ramblinma) #momoftee Well played, universe. (via: @ramblinma) #momofteenagers #parentingteens #motherhoodunplugged #momofteens #momtruth #wtf #keeperofthefruitloops #teenagers🙄 #sendhelp
So. I did a thing today. I went to a NASCAR race. So.
I did a thing today.
I went to a NASCAR race.
My first.
During a pandemic.
I know, I can't believe it, either.
But, when you are married to a man who eats, sleeps, and breathes cars, eventually you come to a point in your marriage when you realize that a trip to a major speedway is a marital inevitability.
I managed to avoid it for 21 years but today was the day.
And I have thoughts, in no particular order:
1). I was not prepared for the noise of the engines. And by "noise," I mean the constant reverberation deep into your soul for three. solid. hours. Loud does not begin to cover it.
2). I watched 38 cars whizz by me 301 times. I enjoyed seeing #43 drive by 301 times. Car #32? Not so much (#32 finished 35th. I was fine with that).
3). Every single person in the grandstands complied with the mask restrictions. It's not that hard, people. I watched thousands of people do it today. You can, too.
4). We didn't see a single confederate flag. #FistBumpNASCAR 
5). I couldn't hear a thing my family said for three hours. Actually, almost four hours. This was a major bonus.
6). Earplugs are necessary. Again, see #5.
7). The universe did me a solid and provided me with an overcast day as I did my "wifely duty" and pretended to be interested in the parade of cars that monotonously sped by me every thirty seconds. If it had been 100 degrees (like it apparently was last year), this status would be very different.
8). 301 laps takes a really long time. Like, a really long time.
9). I think NASCAR would have a bigger fan base if they served frozé wine and provided charcuterie. Hear me out on this, NASCAR.
10). Watching my husband and Fruit Loop #1 scream at each other (because noise and ear plugs) and gesticulate wildly at whatever was happening on the track while they soaked in their first NASCAR race together made it all worth it. I think. #PleaseLetUsHaveUsedEnoughHandSanitizer.
#nascar #loudonspeedway #newhampshiremotorspeedway #nascarracing #nascarlife
Well behaved women never make history...or some sh Well behaved women never make history...or some shit like that. 😏 
#motherhoodunplugged #momtruth #nevershutup #keeperofthefruitloops #mouthybitch #speakyourtruth #speakup
143 days. I took this picture 143 days ago. I was 143 days.
I took this picture 143 days ago.
I was in Palm Springs and I had taken a tram ride with @mommybacktalk to San Jacinto National Park.
We hiked several miles for this view and I remember feeling relaxed and free of stress.
We were in PS to attend a conference and the whispers of an unknown virus were starting to swell.
“A virus out of China.”
“There’s no vaccine and it’s highly contagious. It could become a pandemic.”
“Wait. Corona is a beer...”
Though we didn’t shake hands with attendees, for the most part, we went about the business of “normal” life.
At a dinner with @monicagsakala and @mommybacktalk, we threw back glasses of wine and talked long into the night over gourmet macaroni and cheese that tasted like actual heaven on a fork.
We talked about politics, current events, and books we loved. No stories about kids, no griping about husbands. Just intelligent, stimulating conversation that I now realize was going to become a lifeline only a few weeks later.
I have no pictures of that dinner.
Just the memory of being with two good friends when life didn’t feel so fractured.
Now those friends are hours away, whether by car or plane, and I think about that night in CA almost every day.
The me from 143 days ago had no idea what was coming.
The me at the top of the mountain in the picture didn’t know that she should have savored the fresh air more, that she should have relished what it was like to be one in a crowd on a tram headed to scenic vistas.
I’ve been quiet here on IG because everything feels too much.
I’ve been trying to keep my family safe and maintain what’s left of my sanity in a world that feels prickly and dangerous.
I’ve been wearing a mask, using hand sanitizer, and obsessively watching the news for a sign that we are all going to be okay.
I’ve been looking for small pockets of joy in the middle of the dumpster fire that life has become.
And, I’m realizing that we are all climbing one hell of a mountain, together.
And, at some point, the view is going to be gorgeous.
We just have to keep climbing.
No matter how much our legs are telling us it's too hard to go on.
#keepclimbing
My old life was exhausting...what parts of your pr My old life was exhausting...what parts of your pre-quarantine life are you not going back to when your community opens up fully? @mommyneedsalife #quarantinelife #quarantineandchill #lifewithteens #parenting #parentingteens #momtruth #momhumor #momlife #motherhoodunplugged❤️
It was clear from the start that my kids got a goo It was clear from the start that my kids got a good one. ❤️ #happyfathersday2020 #pandemicparenting #lifewithteens #parentingteens #dadlifeisthebestlife #fathersday #fathersday2020 #quarantinelife
It’s not you, it’s me. Probably. @natecomedy # It’s not you, it’s me. Probably. @natecomedy #quarantinelife #pandemichumor😄 #lifewithteens #lifewithteenagers #momofteens #parentingteens #howcanimissyouifyouwontgoaway #momtruth #motherhoodunplugged
“Mom? Can I hang out with my friends tonight? I “Mom? Can I hang out with  my friends tonight? I need a ride.”
Those words seemed to be on auto repeat last summer.
He had a social life.
I had the driver’s license.
He wanted to stay a half hour later.
I gave him all kinds of hell for upending my evening so that he could hang for a bit more with his friends.
But then he bought his car.
And passed his driver’s test not long after.
My car hasn’t found him folding his lanky frame into the passenger seat in almost a year.
I miss seeing him there.
Tonight, I wanted to see my friends for a couple of socially distanced glasses of wine and I didn’t want to drive.
“Hey, I’d like to hang out with my friends tonight. Can you give me a ride?” I said to him.
And of course, he took every opportunity to give me a dose of my own medicine in jest:
“You know, I have plans this evening, too, Mom.”
“I want you outside by 830p because I’ll be waiting.”
“No, you can’t stay til 9, I don’t care what the other moms are doing.”
It was a full circle moment.
After he picked me up and we swung by the local ice cream shop so he could get a treat for him and his sister, we drove home with the windows down on a summer night.
For a few moments, it was like old times.
I’ve missed him, even though we’ve been home together for months in quarantine.
And when Def Leppard blared on the radio and he dialed it up while singing every word, I remembered what it was like to be seventeen. @joe_burke0227 
#lifewithteens #momofteens #quarantinelife #quaranteens #pandemiclife #parentinginquarantine #momtruth #motherhoodunplugged #momofteenslife
We can get new backpacks and lunch boxes, too, rig We can get new backpacks and lunch boxes, too, right? @ellie_schnitt #pandemic2020 #pandemiclife #quarantinelife #quarantineandchill #workfromhomemom #workfromhomelife #momofteens
#blackoutday2020 #blackoutday2020
Moms are gonna drop it like it’s hot, yo. #tgif Moms are gonna drop it like it’s hot, yo. #tgif #thankgoditsfriday #pandemiclife #quarantineandchill #quarantineandchill2020 #momlife #momtruth #lifewithteensandtweens #lifewithteens #letsgetthispartystarted🎉 #quarantinesucks😷
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