As a parent, there are a few moments that stop you in your tracks and make you want to run screaming from the room: the first time you realize your toddler can reach the top of the stairs in under three seconds, the first time you hear a swear word out of one of your […]
We May Have Kids But Our Marriage Was Here First
Scene: the dinner table, a few years ago. Fruit Loop #2: “How do you KNOW that you should marry a person?” Fruit Loop #1: “When you meet the right person, a spark happens. Then you have to nurture the spark so it becomes a flame and then eventually a bonfire across your marriage. And wick size […]
The Day My Toddler’s Mouth Almost Had Me Arrested At Preschool
It all started out so innocently. All I had to do was get the 2-year-old to his first day of preschool with a 2-week-old infant in tow. I’m a bachelor’s educated RN with many years of ICU experience. I’ve managed patient flow. I’ve run ICU codes. A 2-year-old and an infant? Pfft. Easy peasy. What […]
The Keeper Goes To A Video Shoot. Yes, Really.
When I was about 8 years old, my father took me to Rockefeller Plaza. I had been allowed to skip school and accompany my father to an early morning business meeting in Midtown. It was a cold February day and I remember being amazed by the sites and sounds of the bustling New York cityscape. […]
36 Thoughts All Moms Have While Bathing Suit Shopping
I’m going to let you in on a little secret: aging is not kind on a woman’s body. I know, I know. It came as total shock to me, too. Particularly yesterday, when I was standing in the fluorescent lights of a Target dressing room, trying on bathing suits. Bathing suit shopping is hard after […]
The Keeper Is Going To Graceland. Sort of.
When I was fifteen, I volunteered at a local hospital in the Mail and Flowers department. A few times a week, I donned a blue gingham smock and would spend several hours delivering, well, mail and flowers to the patients and families. As I’d make my way through the hospital, the sights and sounds of […]
The Time I Became A Cat Burglar. Literally.
I am responsible AF. Well, except when it comes to taking care of my friends’ pets. Then all bets are off. I feel as though it should be said that I have zero pet sitting skills. I didn’t own pets as a kid and I was 41 years old when our first family pet joined […]
The Day My Heart Grew By Two Feet
He climbed up on my lap and nestled his toddler body against mine. As he shifted to get comfortable, my belly shifted, presumably his sister’s first act of defiance against her older brother. His hair was wet and he smelled faintly of baby shampoo and talc. With his pacifier nestled in his mouth, he grinned […]
The Song Remembers When
When I was in fifth-grade, my family and I moved to a far away to a foreign land called Texas. Having grown up in the Northeast, being the daughter of two Yankees who “pahked the cah in Hahvahd yahd,” and suddenly being deposited in the land of big skies, cowboys, and boots was a culture […]
So, You Want To Start A Blog…
The number one question I get asked as a blogger is how I got started. People are often equal parts amazed and amused to hear that I sort of fell into this gig by accident. Truly, if it weren’t for a friend who recognized my writing skills and some pretty amazing “right place, right time” […]
On Changing…..
Well, now, 2016 was quite a year, wasn’t it, bitchachos? And, I don’t know about you, but I feel different. In some respects, a good different. In other ways, not so much. I don’t mind telling you that 2016 changed me. A lot. I am changed professionally. Frankly, I don’t recognize my professional life from […]
The Keeper And An Ugly Volvo
I’d like to tell you a little story. It involves a book, an Italian restaurant, and an Ugly Volvo. Trust me, I’ll connect the dots, don’t worry. When I started writing back in March 2013, I had no way of knowing that, in a few short months, my life would change in a big way. […]
Brenda Walsh Has Cancer And Now I Have To Get A Mammogram
I graduated high school in 1993 and, while I proudly accepted my degree on stage with 364 of my classmates, I also received a second degree that day. I also graduated from Beverly Hills, 90210 High School with Brenda, Kelly, Steve, Brandon, Dylan, Andrea, and Donna. I’d mention David, too, but I think he was […]
What I Learned From Planning A Blog Conference
Back in October, the owner of The Blog University (aka BlogU), a national blog conference, approached me about taking a position on their Steering Committee. She asked me if I’d be interested in planning all of the logistics for the conference. Basically, I would be in charge of ALL THE THINGS related to the location where the […]
Mother-In-Law, My Friend
When a group of women get together, inevitably, complaints will start flying. They will lament about their thighs, crow’s feet and grey hair. They will bitch about toddlers who refuse to use the potty and teenagers who roll their eyes. They will go on and on about husbands who can’t get dishes into the dishwasher […]
Enjoying Summer Time Can Be Easy….Sort Of
Summer is here. We are a week into summer vacation and already, I’ve heard the words “I’m bored” and “There’s nothing to doooooooo” and, my personal favorite, “There’s nothing gooooood to eat in the pantry”. Yep. Summer with kids is AWESOME. And HARD. It’s hard to keep them busy, it’s hard to find time to […]
Lisa Newlin Visits The Keeper. Seriously.
There are some people who don’t even have to open their mouths and you find yourself laughing. Not AT them, of course, but because you know the minute they DO open their mouths, hilarity will ensue. Lisa Newlin is that person. I mean it. She’s one of the funniest, most self deprecating people I’ve ever […]
The Keeper Is Outmanned
We’ve all had a first date. Not just a first date with a new prospect but a FIRST first date. Like, when you were 14. With acne. And braces. Show of hands: who’s FIRST first date was awkward, sweaty and replete with far too much aftershave and perfume? Hmm. Everyone’s hands are raised. That’s […]