Keeper of the Fruit Loops

I am The Keeper of The Fruit Loops, Manager of the Fecal Roster and the Driver of the People Mover. In other words, I'm a mom.

  • Home
  • Awards And Books!
  • Loop Scoop
  • See The Keeper
  • Find The Keeper
  • The Keeper On The Today Show


You are here: Home / Archives for The Keeper Is A Guest!

The Keeper Has Scary News

April 21, 2016 By Christine 8 Comments

The Keeper has scary news, bitchachos. Big SCARY news. But, before I divulge my big news, I’m going to give you a little background information to set the stage, if I may. When I started this blog in March 2013, I’ve often said that I had very low expectations.  I was encouraged by a friend […]

Filed Under: The Keeper News, The Keeper On The Mid

My Apology: My Tween Can’t Say “I’m Sorry” And It’s My Fault

February 4, 2016 By Christine 1 Comment

Smiling teenage boy in front of car

On a hot summer night last year, you defied me. You begged to be allowed to walk down to an ice cream shop with your younger sister in the small beach town where we were vacationing. “I’m twelve now, Mom,” you pleaded, “almost thirteen. Come on, please?” After a bit of discussion, your father and […]

Filed Under: Parenting Is Hard Enough, Parenting My Way, The Keeper On The Mid

Musings From A Sleep Dictator

October 14, 2015 By Christine Leave a Comment

I am a member of the Today Show’s Parenting team (I don’t want to brag buuuuuuuuut, I’m a TOP CONTRIBUTOR, thankyouverymuch) and this month, they challenged us to discuss a topic near and dear to my heart:  Sleep Training.  Specifically, they asked us to give tips from our journey to a good night’s sleep.  Because […]

Filed Under: Parenting Is Hard Enough, Parenting My Way, The Keeper On Today! Tagged With: napping, sleep, sleep deprivation

Come On, Get Happy

September 3, 2015 By Christine 1 Comment

This month, the Today Parenting Team challenged me to write about what makes me happy as a mother and to define the strategies I use daily to find every day joy in the chaos of parenthood.  As I thought about this topic and ruminated on what really makes me truly happy, I realized that, for […]

Filed Under: Parenting Is Hard Enough, Parenting My Way, The Keeper On Today! Tagged With: finding joy, happy

School Daze: 13 Tips For Back To School Success (The Keeper On Today)

July 26, 2015 By Christine Leave a Comment

As many of you know, I am a regular contributor to the Today Show’s Parenting Community.  This month, the Featured Challenge is “Back To School Advice, Pay It Forward Style”.  I was asked to write a piece with advice for moms and dads with children younger than mine.  Here’s the piece, as it appears on […]

Filed Under: Parenting Is Hard Enough, Parenting My Way, The Keeper On Today!

I Miss The Noise and It’s Too Quiet

July 22, 2015 By Christine 15 Comments

Today, when our eyes met in the aisle, my heart ached. I sighed to myself and realized I miss you. Well, not the actual you because, until today, we’ve never met. I miss the you that you are right now. The you that I am no longer. As you pushed your red cart containing your […]

Filed Under: Parenting Is Hard Enough, Parenting My Way, The Keeper On The Mid Tagged With: quiet, the mid

I Talk Early And Often To The Fruit Loops About Alcohol

July 7, 2015 By Christine 4 Comments

I’m just going to say it out loud:  I’m a good time at parties. A gooooood time, I tell you, and my friends will all willingly recount at least three stories that involve me, a party and adult beverages. Okay, probably five stories each and those who attended my 40th birthday party last Fall all […]

Filed Under: Parenting Is Hard Enough, Parenting My Way, The Keeper Is A Guest!, The Keeper News

Enjoying Summer Time Can Be Easy….Sort Of

June 22, 2015 By Christine 5 Comments

Summer is here. We are a week into summer vacation and already, I’ve heard the words “I’m bored” and “There’s nothing to doooooooo” and, my personal favorite, “There’s nothing gooooood to eat in the pantry”. Yep. Summer with kids is AWESOME.  And HARD. It’s hard to keep them busy, it’s hard to find time to […]

Filed Under: Parenting Is Hard Enough, Parenting My Way, The Keeper On Today!, Uncategorized Tagged With: summer fun, surviving summer

The Day I Met Tom Brokaw. Sort of.

June 3, 2015 By Christine 4 Comments

When I was eight years old, my dad asked me if I wanted to skip school for the day and tag along on some of his business calls in New York City.  My eight year old ears could barely believe what they were hearing:  I’d always heard about the mysterious New York City and I couldn’t […]

Filed Under: Losing My Dad, The Keeper Is A Guest!, The Keeper News Tagged With: pinch me, Today Show, Tom Brokaw

Listen To The Keeper

May 1, 2015 By Christine Leave a Comment

Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve wanted to be on stage. In fact, when I starred in the critically acclaimed play “The Little White Rabbit Who Wanted Red Wings” at the age of six, a star was born.  As I hopped around my elementary school stage, my parents tell me they realized they […]

Filed Under: Listen To Your Mother, The Keeper Is A Guest!, The Keeper News Tagged With: listen to your mother, microphones, ppd

50 Shades of Blush, er, Grey

February 24, 2015 By Christine 3 Comments

In the summer of 2012, almost every woman I knew had their face buried in their e-reader. My friends could be found at the pool, sunglassed and sunscreened, discreetly reading while their children frolicked in chlorine. I’d see women at Barnes and Noble buried in their Nooks, coffees steaming as hot as their loins. I’d […]

Filed Under: Behind Closed Doors, The Keeper Is A Guest! Tagged With: 50 Shades, Blushing

Gratitude

January 5, 2015 By Christine 1 Comment

Recently, I was invited to write a piece for one of my favorite blogging sites, BLUNTMoms. The editors asked me to write about the best advice I’d ever received and about gratitude. Pfft.  Sounds like a cake assignment, right? Yep.  Easy peasy. Until I sat down to write it and stared at a blank computer […]

Filed Under: The Keeper Is A Guest! Tagged With: BluntMoms, good friends, gratitude

The Keeper Gets Interviewed

October 24, 2014 By Christine 2 Comments

I am celebrating a BANNER week, people. Huge. Epic. It’s one of those “doesn’t come round often” kinds of weeks, I tell you. You might want to sit down for this:  I was interviewed not once, but TWICE, this week. Yep.  TWICE. SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! Two separate bloggers emailed me questions that they A). actually wanted me […]

Filed Under: The Keeper Is A Guest!, The Keeper News

Go To Blazes, You Stupid Gorilla

April 1, 2014 By Christine 6 Comments

This week, I was invited to guest post on Nicole Leigh Shaw’s Ninja Mom Blog under her wildly popular “Character Assassination Carousel” section.  For those not in the know, the CAC is a collection of hilarious essays by bloggers far and wide lampooning, skewering and roasting the children’s books we’ve come to hate reading night, […]

Filed Under: The Keeper Is A Guest! Tagged With: Goodnight, Gorilla, worst book ever

My KICK ASS Eulogy

October 1, 2013 By Christine 8 Comments

When you die, what will people say about you?  What will the people around you choose to fit into a teeny tiny column in the paper in the midst of their angst over your untimely demise?  Will your eulogy be the standard issue “He was born, he was an engineer, he was a Knight of […]

Filed Under: The Keeper Is A Guest! Tagged With: eulogy, kick ass

THIS is BLOGGER IDOL!

September 22, 2013 By Christine Leave a Comment

True confession time:  I am a SUCKER for American Idol and I’ve secretly wanted to be a contestant for years.  There was a time when my BFF and I discussed the AI happenings more than any two humans should: Audition city train wrecks?  Yes, please! Simon Cowell (come back!!) lambasting a performance as “Cabaret”?  You […]

Filed Under: The Keeper Is A Guest! Tagged With: Blogger Idol, guest

Find Your Favorite Posts!

Fruit Loops Are Social. You should be, too. Ahem.

Subscribe Via Email

Top Posts & Pages

  • Everyone Needs To Be Rescued: My Skiing Adventure From Hell
    Everyone Needs To Be Rescued: My Skiing Adventure From Hell
  • Itching from The Inside Out, Part 2: Climbing the Ladder of Atopic Dermatitis Treatment
    Itching from The Inside Out, Part 2: Climbing the Ladder of Atopic Dermatitis Treatment
  • 10 Parenting Truths Other Mothers Won't Tell You...But I Will
    10 Parenting Truths Other Mothers Won't Tell You...But I Will
  • I Miss The Noise and It's Too Quiet
    I Miss The Noise and It's Too Quiet
  • An Adult Ruined Christmas For My Daughter And I'm Still Angry
    An Adult Ruined Christmas For My Daughter And I'm Still Angry

The Keeper on Instagram!

fruitloopkeeper

Nurse. Wife. Mom. Runner. Blogger. Writer. Thrift Shop Junkie. Sauvignon Blanc Snob.
Social Media Manager for @hermoneymedia and @jeanchatzky.

It’s time to let the world swallow your whole s It’s time to let the world swallow your  whole self, bitchachos. And you can hand the haters a glass of milk if they are having trouble. #bringit #momtruth #parentingtruth #iamwhoiam #nojoke #mywholeself
Can we all agree that our pets are the real winner Can we all agree that our pets are the real winners of the quarantine?
For six months, this dog has had four people to cuddle her, give her treats, and take her for walks at the drop of a hat. And she does not care if she interrupts a Zoom call to protect us from the UPS guy.
And, yes, she’s been forced to take more selfies than she’d like but sorry not sorry, #daisytheshihtzu.
What are these pets gonna do if we ever have to go back to “real” life?
#petsofinstagram #shihtzusofinstagram #shihtzulovers #shihtzusgram_feature #quarantinelife #petsofquarantine #lifewithdaisy
No words. RIP, #rbg. Fly with the angels and rest No words. RIP, #rbg. Fly with the angels and rest easy. We won’t let you down. Also? SOMEONE FIND BETTY WHITE RIGHT NOW. #ruthbaderginsburg #suckit2020 #wtf #notoriousrbg #ruthbaderginsburgismyhero
When I was thinking about how I wanted to write ab When I was thinking about how I wanted to write about eczema for a project with @mediqcme, I was reminded of a time a few years ago when I had the world’s worst case of poison ivy.
After a marathon session of gardening, I’d managed to swipe a huge swath of poison ivy oil across my chest, left flank, and left side of my face.
Within days, I was in agony: huge, weeping crusted pustules covered my body and as the days turned into weeks, my skin screamed at me for attention at every given moment.
I couldn’t sleep.
I couldn’t wear my favorite clothing because my lesions were constantly weeping.
And then came the steroids.
That’s when the real hell began. I’m a high energy person without the aid of stimulants (I really should switch to decaf, I know) and steroids make me a next-level handful, trust me.
For six weeks, every decision I made revolved around my skin: how to sit comfortably, what position made sleep come more easily, even bathing became a chore because nothing helped allay the itch that seemed to come from the inside out.
I was miserable, yes, but thankfully, I eventually healed and soon forgot about my six weeks of poison ivy hell.
But, 9-year-old Elizabeth told me that living with atopic dermatitis means that itching from the inside out is a way of life for her and, in her words, itchy skin makes her feel “bad” most of the time.
Head to my IG stories to read more about life with #atopicdermatitis and how it affects almost 31 million Americans (10 million of which are kids).
#itchyskinhelp #chroniceczema #eczema #eczemarelief #atopicdermatitistreatment
Why is it that when the temp dips to 50 degrees in Why is it that when the temp dips to 50 degrees in September, I can’t wait to wear sweaters and scarves but, in April, I’m pretty much wearing shorts and tank tops?
#hardhittingquestions #fallproblems #sweaterweather #falllife #fallfashion #fallvibes #conundrum #yorkbeach #yorkbeachme
Do you have eczema? Does someone you know and love Do you have eczema? Does someone you know and love have atopic dermatitis, a chronic skin condition that affects more than 31 million Americans? 

Join me Tuesday, September 15 at 2p EST for a very special FB live conversation about Atopic Dermatitis with Dr. Peter Lio, Asst. Professor of Dermatology and Pediatrics at @northwesternu. 

We will be discussing what atopic dermatitis is, how it affects families, and the resources that you can trust if you, your kids, or family members are navigating a new (or ongoing) atopic dermatitis diagnosis.

Bring your questions because we will be answering them live!

Special thanks to @mediqcme for making this discussion possible!
#itchyskinhelp
On the day my son was born, my father sent us a ca On the day my son was born, my father sent us a card.
“You’ll always remember the firsts but the lasts are the most precious,” he wrote.
She’s our last.
She was the last baby to walk with her fat feet on our hardwood floors.
She was the last one to go to kindergarten.
She was the one who napped on the go as her brother attended Mommy and Me classes and soccer practices.
She was the last one to have a single digit birthday in our house.
But for all of the firsts that have been afforded to her brother, she’s our first in so many ways.
She’s the first one to navigate freshman year during a hybrid school system in the midst of a pandemic.
She’s the first one to forge her way on a cross country team with teammates who have never had to race virtually.
She’s the first one to have had to face a high school career that looks infinitely different than the one her brother (a senior) has enjoyed.
She’s our last, yes.
But she’s the one who is teaching us to savor the moments when we get to see her race on the track while we wear masks and socially distance.
She’s the one who is brave enough to lean in to hybrid learning, mask and all, so that we can figure out how best to educate our kids in the coming years.
And, yes, she’s our last one to go to high school but she’s the first one to teach us what we really need to know in the midst of a pandemic.
The lastest really is the bestest.
#lifewithteens
Let’s face it: I’m all in on the bullshit. (Th Let’s face it: I’m all in on the bullshit. (Thanks, @modernmommymadness for being all about the bullshit, too.) #backtoschool #parentingteens #momofteens #motherhoodunplugged #parenting #pandemicparenting #quaranteens #bullshitquotes #allaboutthebullshit #keeperofthefruitloops
School starts tomorrow and I am READY, bitchachos. School starts tomorrow and I am READY, bitchachos. 💪🏻🍷📚#backtoschool #letsdothis #itsgonnatakeavineyard #covidclassroom #covidclassof2021 #quaranteens #momofteens #parentingteens #senioryear🎓 #freshmanyear
Well played, universe. (via: @ramblinma) #momoftee Well played, universe. (via: @ramblinma) #momofteenagers #parentingteens #motherhoodunplugged #momofteens #momtruth #wtf #keeperofthefruitloops #teenagers🙄 #sendhelp
So. I did a thing today. I went to a NASCAR race. So.
I did a thing today.
I went to a NASCAR race.
My first.
During a pandemic.
I know, I can't believe it, either.
But, when you are married to a man who eats, sleeps, and breathes cars, eventually you come to a point in your marriage when you realize that a trip to a major speedway is a marital inevitability.
I managed to avoid it for 21 years but today was the day.
And I have thoughts, in no particular order:
1). I was not prepared for the noise of the engines. And by "noise," I mean the constant reverberation deep into your soul for three. solid. hours. Loud does not begin to cover it.
2). I watched 38 cars whizz by me 301 times. I enjoyed seeing #43 drive by 301 times. Car #32? Not so much (#32 finished 35th. I was fine with that).
3). Every single person in the grandstands complied with the mask restrictions. It's not that hard, people. I watched thousands of people do it today. You can, too.
4). We didn't see a single confederate flag. #FistBumpNASCAR 
5). I couldn't hear a thing my family said for three hours. Actually, almost four hours. This was a major bonus.
6). Earplugs are necessary. Again, see #5.
7). The universe did me a solid and provided me with an overcast day as I did my "wifely duty" and pretended to be interested in the parade of cars that monotonously sped by me every thirty seconds. If it had been 100 degrees (like it apparently was last year), this status would be very different.
8). 301 laps takes a really long time. Like, a really long time.
9). I think NASCAR would have a bigger fan base if they served frozé wine and provided charcuterie. Hear me out on this, NASCAR.
10). Watching my husband and Fruit Loop #1 scream at each other (because noise and ear plugs) and gesticulate wildly at whatever was happening on the track while they soaked in their first NASCAR race together made it all worth it. I think. #PleaseLetUsHaveUsedEnoughHandSanitizer.
#nascar #loudonspeedway #newhampshiremotorspeedway #nascarracing #nascarlife
Well behaved women never make history...or some sh Well behaved women never make history...or some shit like that. 😏 
#motherhoodunplugged #momtruth #nevershutup #keeperofthefruitloops #mouthybitch #speakyourtruth #speakup
143 days. I took this picture 143 days ago. I was 143 days.
I took this picture 143 days ago.
I was in Palm Springs and I had taken a tram ride with @mommybacktalk to San Jacinto National Park.
We hiked several miles for this view and I remember feeling relaxed and free of stress.
We were in PS to attend a conference and the whispers of an unknown virus were starting to swell.
“A virus out of China.”
“There’s no vaccine and it’s highly contagious. It could become a pandemic.”
“Wait. Corona is a beer...”
Though we didn’t shake hands with attendees, for the most part, we went about the business of “normal” life.
At a dinner with @monicagsakala and @mommybacktalk, we threw back glasses of wine and talked long into the night over gourmet macaroni and cheese that tasted like actual heaven on a fork.
We talked about politics, current events, and books we loved. No stories about kids, no griping about husbands. Just intelligent, stimulating conversation that I now realize was going to become a lifeline only a few weeks later.
I have no pictures of that dinner.
Just the memory of being with two good friends when life didn’t feel so fractured.
Now those friends are hours away, whether by car or plane, and I think about that night in CA almost every day.
The me from 143 days ago had no idea what was coming.
The me at the top of the mountain in the picture didn’t know that she should have savored the fresh air more, that she should have relished what it was like to be one in a crowd on a tram headed to scenic vistas.
I’ve been quiet here on IG because everything feels too much.
I’ve been trying to keep my family safe and maintain what’s left of my sanity in a world that feels prickly and dangerous.
I’ve been wearing a mask, using hand sanitizer, and obsessively watching the news for a sign that we are all going to be okay.
I’ve been looking for small pockets of joy in the middle of the dumpster fire that life has become.
And, I’m realizing that we are all climbing one hell of a mountain, together.
And, at some point, the view is going to be gorgeous.
We just have to keep climbing.
No matter how much our legs are telling us it's too hard to go on.
#keepclimbing
My old life was exhausting...what parts of your pr My old life was exhausting...what parts of your pre-quarantine life are you not going back to when your community opens up fully? @mommyneedsalife #quarantinelife #quarantineandchill #lifewithteens #parenting #parentingteens #momtruth #momhumor #momlife #motherhoodunplugged❤️
It was clear from the start that my kids got a goo It was clear from the start that my kids got a good one. ❤️ #happyfathersday2020 #pandemicparenting #lifewithteens #parentingteens #dadlifeisthebestlife #fathersday #fathersday2020 #quarantinelife
It’s not you, it’s me. Probably. @natecomedy # It’s not you, it’s me. Probably. @natecomedy #quarantinelife #pandemichumor😄 #lifewithteens #lifewithteenagers #momofteens #parentingteens #howcanimissyouifyouwontgoaway #momtruth #motherhoodunplugged
“Mom? Can I hang out with my friends tonight? I “Mom? Can I hang out with  my friends tonight? I need a ride.”
Those words seemed to be on auto repeat last summer.
He had a social life.
I had the driver’s license.
He wanted to stay a half hour later.
I gave him all kinds of hell for upending my evening so that he could hang for a bit more with his friends.
But then he bought his car.
And passed his driver’s test not long after.
My car hasn’t found him folding his lanky frame into the passenger seat in almost a year.
I miss seeing him there.
Tonight, I wanted to see my friends for a couple of socially distanced glasses of wine and I didn’t want to drive.
“Hey, I’d like to hang out with my friends tonight. Can you give me a ride?” I said to him.
And of course, he took every opportunity to give me a dose of my own medicine in jest:
“You know, I have plans this evening, too, Mom.”
“I want you outside by 830p because I’ll be waiting.”
“No, you can’t stay til 9, I don’t care what the other moms are doing.”
It was a full circle moment.
After he picked me up and we swung by the local ice cream shop so he could get a treat for him and his sister, we drove home with the windows down on a summer night.
For a few moments, it was like old times.
I’ve missed him, even though we’ve been home together for months in quarantine.
And when Def Leppard blared on the radio and he dialed it up while singing every word, I remembered what it was like to be seventeen. @joe_burke0227 
#lifewithteens #momofteens #quarantinelife #quaranteens #pandemiclife #parentinginquarantine #momtruth #motherhoodunplugged #momofteenslife
We can get new backpacks and lunch boxes, too, rig We can get new backpacks and lunch boxes, too, right? @ellie_schnitt #pandemic2020 #pandemiclife #quarantinelife #quarantineandchill #workfromhomemom #workfromhomelife #momofteens
#blackoutday2020 #blackoutday2020
Moms are gonna drop it like it’s hot, yo. #tgif Moms are gonna drop it like it’s hot, yo. #tgif #thankgoditsfriday #pandemiclife #quarantineandchill #quarantineandchill2020 #momlife #momtruth #lifewithteensandtweens #lifewithteens #letsgetthispartystarted🎉 #quarantinesucks😷
Follow on Instagram
This error message is only visible to WordPress admins

Error: API requests are being delayed for this account. New posts will not be retrieved.

Log in as an administrator and view the Instagram Feed settings page for more details.

The Keeper And HerMoney

THE KEEPER IS THE BEST!

Buy My T Shirts!

The Keeper Is A TOP Today Show Contributor!

The Keeper On Today!

Facebook Fruit Loops

Facebook Fruit Loops

See The Keeper’s LTYM Video!

BlogU Graduate

Fruit Loop Archives

Copyright © 2021 · The Tattoo Tourist | Maintained By Technology-Therapist | Log in