When a group of women get together, inevitably, complaints will start flying. They will lament about their thighs, crow’s feet and grey hair. They will bitch about toddlers who refuse to use the potty and teenagers who roll their eyes. They will go on and on about husbands who can’t get dishes into the dishwasher […]
The Girl Behind The Make Up
“Mommy, why are you putting that brown stuff on your face?” The question comes from Fruit Loop #2 as she sits on the counter of the bathroom, watching me get ready for an evening out with Hubby. I am applying foundation to the lines, wrinkles, and blemishes to my forty-year-old face. I am expertly coloring in […]
Come On, Get Happy
This month, the Today Parenting Team challenged me to write about what makes me happy as a mother and to define the strategies I use daily to find every day joy in the chaos of parenthood. As I thought about this topic and ruminated on what really makes me truly happy, I realized that, for […]
Slow Parenting
A few months ago, I posted a photo on my Instagram account of Fruit Loop #2 sitting by a river, skipping rocks. It was a beautiful evening, Spring at it’s finest; complete with a setting sun shading the sky a lovely shade of amber. As we sat by that river, after having taken a three-mile […]
The Amazing Road Trip Race
Back in June, I floated a somewhat outrageous idea to Hubby: I wanted to drive the Fruit Loops to Texas to visit my mom in August. Yes, drive. 1600 miles one way. In a car. With two kids in tow. Alone. He took one look at me, raised his eyebrow and said, “You’re crazy”. And, […]
Gin and Tonic With A Twist of LYME Disease
When school got out for the summer, I had visions of beaches, long summer nights around the fire pit with friends and road trips. I was eager for the slower paced days and catching up on all the books collecting dust on my night stand. No lunches to pack, no homework to check, no screaming […]
School Daze: 13 Tips For Back To School Success (The Keeper On Today)
As many of you know, I am a regular contributor to the Today Show’s Parenting Community. This month, the Featured Challenge is “Back To School Advice, Pay It Forward Style”. I was asked to write a piece with advice for moms and dads with children younger than mine. Here’s the piece, as it appears on […]
I Miss The Noise and It’s Too Quiet
Today, when our eyes met in the aisle, my heart ached. I sighed to myself and realized I miss you. Well, not the actual you because, until today, we’ve never met. I miss the you that you are right now. The you that I am no longer. As you pushed your red cart containing your […]
I Talk Early And Often To The Fruit Loops About Alcohol
I’m just going to say it out loud: I’m a good time at parties. A gooooood time, I tell you, and my friends will all willingly recount at least three stories that involve me, a party and adult beverages. Okay, probably five stories each and those who attended my 40th birthday party last Fall all […]
“Wine Not Time!”
Have you ever committed a crime? Like an *actual* one? Wait. Don’t answer that because I think plausible deniability would work in my favor if anyone ever asked me about your answer. I am pleased to say that I haven’t been in the Big House…yet. But I can imagine a scenario in which I would […]
Enjoying Summer Time Can Be Easy….Sort Of
Summer is here. We are a week into summer vacation and already, I’ve heard the words “I’m bored” and “There’s nothing to doooooooo” and, my personal favorite, “There’s nothing gooooood to eat in the pantry”. Yep. Summer with kids is AWESOME. And HARD. It’s hard to keep them busy, it’s hard to find time to […]
Just Sleep, Dammit!
There are few things that will drive a new mother over the edge like sleep deprivation. The days where you wake up exhausted, nauseous and convinced you will never sleep again in the history of ever drive yoga pants clad moms all across this nation to the brink of insanity. Everyone always seems to have […]
Thanks for the Mammories
I am a graduate of the University of “My Boobs Fed A Human” and hold a Bachelor’s Degree in Breast Feeding. In order to graduate, I had to enroll in classes such as “Breast Pump 101” and “Your Breast and You: How Not To Get Eaten Alive By A Small Human”. There were all nighters […]
Gossip Girls
As you walk into the cafeteria, your stomach lurches a little. You look around at the groups of girls and a familiar fear fills your stomach. “Will the cool girls let me sit with them today?” You scan the room and see girls chatting, laughing and looking over at you as you walk in the […]
What I Don’t Remember….
Is anyone else feeling the stress of being the World’s Most Perfect Mom EVUUUR? Is anyone else looking at The Pinterest wondering who the heck has the time to make crafts, perfect crockpot meals and put outfits together that would make Polyvore swoon? Does anyone else look around them and see moms who spend more […]
All The Remembering
Last night at dinner and on the eve of our 8th snow day off from school this year, I was lamenting about the number of days that the Fruit Loops have been underfoot, bored, and full of bicker. The number of days that I’ve been forced to reschedule appointments and become Julie the Cruise Director […]
Just Say No
Last March, Hubby informed me that he was going to be participating in a car racing event during a weekend in May. Ordinarily, I’d have just said, “Okay, have fun!” but something in his eyes made me stop and do a double take. Something in the way he mentioned it to me signaled that he […]
The Time Hubby And I Totally Lost One Of Our Kids On The Beach
As a parent, you pride yourself on the the little things: getting through an hour without a toddler tantrum, managing to get a shower with minions underfoot and remembering to change your breast milk stained shirt at least every other day. You also pride yourself on the BIG things: keeping those minions alive all day, […]