Today, when our eyes met in the aisle, my heart ached. I sighed to myself and realized I miss you. Well, not the actual you because, until today, we’ve never met. I miss the you that you are right now. The you that I am no longer. As you pushed your red cart containing your […]
I Talk Early And Often To The Fruit Loops About Alcohol
I’m just going to say it out loud: I’m a good time at parties. A gooooood time, I tell you, and my friends will all willingly recount at least three stories that involve me, a party and adult beverages. Okay, probably five stories each and those who attended my 40th birthday party last Fall all […]
“Wine Not Time!”
Have you ever committed a crime? Like an *actual* one? Wait. Don’t answer that because I think plausible deniability would work in my favor if anyone ever asked me about your answer. I am pleased to say that I haven’t been in the Big House…yet. But I can imagine a scenario in which I would […]
Enjoying Summer Time Can Be Easy….Sort Of
Summer is here. We are a week into summer vacation and already, I’ve heard the words “I’m bored” and “There’s nothing to doooooooo” and, my personal favorite, “There’s nothing gooooood to eat in the pantry”. Yep. Summer with kids is AWESOME. And HARD. It’s hard to keep them busy, it’s hard to find time to […]
Tales of A Fifth Grade Nothing
While on a recent trip to the beach, I observed Fruit Loop #2 happily playing with her best friend. They spent an entire day building sand castles, jumping waves and doing all the things you do with your bestie when you are nine years old. They told secrets, they giggled, they wore their bathing suits […]
Home Sweet Home
Hubby and I, on the general, don’t argue much. Strike that. We argue all the time. We have tiffs, we have eye rolling, we have snippy moments where I call him a jackass and he gets annoyed. Occasionally, there’s even a door slam. But, for the most part, we don’t argue so vociferously that one […]
Just Sleep, Dammit!
There are few things that will drive a new mother over the edge like sleep deprivation. The days where you wake up exhausted, nauseous and convinced you will never sleep again in the history of ever drive yoga pants clad moms all across this nation to the brink of insanity. Everyone always seems to have […]
Thanks for the Mammories
I am a graduate of the University of “My Boobs Fed A Human” and hold a Bachelor’s Degree in Breast Feeding. In order to graduate, I had to enroll in classes such as “Breast Pump 101” and “Your Breast and You: How Not To Get Eaten Alive By A Small Human”. There were all nighters […]
Gossip Girls
As you walk into the cafeteria, your stomach lurches a little. You look around at the groups of girls and a familiar fear fills your stomach. “Will the cool girls let me sit with them today?” You scan the room and see girls chatting, laughing and looking over at you as you walk in the […]
What I Don’t Remember….
Is anyone else feeling the stress of being the World’s Most Perfect Mom EVUUUR? Is anyone else looking at The Pinterest wondering who the heck has the time to make crafts, perfect crockpot meals and put outfits together that would make Polyvore swoon? Does anyone else look around them and see moms who spend more […]
All The Remembering
Last night at dinner and on the eve of our 8th snow day off from school this year, I was lamenting about the number of days that the Fruit Loops have been underfoot, bored, and full of bicker. The number of days that I’ve been forced to reschedule appointments and become Julie the Cruise Director […]
The Time Hubby And I Totally Lost One Of Our Kids On The Beach
As a parent, you pride yourself on the the little things: getting through an hour without a toddler tantrum, managing to get a shower with minions underfoot and remembering to change your breast milk stained shirt at least every other day. You also pride yourself on the BIG things: keeping those minions alive all day, […]
Secrets of A Potty Training Mom
If you ask a group of moms what they dislike most about parenting, the answers will be varied. Some will say temper tantrums, eye rolling or Disney channel programming. Others will scoff at the the early mornings, diaper changes at 2 am and never ending loads of laundry. You will hear sorry tales of ignored […]
Confessions from the Bunny Slope
On the whole, I consider myself to be pretty brave. I’ve worked night shift in an inner-city hospital. I’ve had my wisdom teeth removed, two C Sections and have cleaned up kid vomit with nary a gag. I’ve survived the grocery store on the day before Thanksgiving 10 years running (not for the faint of […]
5 Things I’d Tell My High School Self
Recently, I hit a milestone. A big one. 20 years ago, I stood with 364 of my classmates on my high school’s football field and got my diploma. As I sat in that crowd on the field as the sun set, my white cap affixed upon my Jersey Girl, Aqua Net styled hair, […]
This Is My 40
I’ve been preparing for this day for my whole life. Like a beacon in the distance, the age of forty has been looming, staring me down, daring me to get there. Hearing those who have gone before me say, “It’s all downhill from there…” and “Forty isn’t THAT bad” and “Someday, this will be you”. […]
Wait. It Ends?
When you make the decision to stay at home with your children, it’s a BIG deal. There are lots of factors: finances, your ability to spend twelve hours at a time with people under three feet tall and the national coffee supply. You wrestle with your ability to be the sole caregiver, your need for […]
Say Cheese!
Today, as I was taking photos of the Fruit Loops at the bus stop for their first day of school, I started to sweat. I wasn’t sweating because I was experiencing the vapors over having a quiet house for seven consecutive hours. I wasn’t sweating because I was going to miss the cherubs (pfft….see above). […]