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I am The Keeper of The Fruit Loops, Manager of the Fecal Roster and the Driver of the People Mover. In other words, I'm a mom.

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You are here: Home / Archives for Parenting Is Hard Enough

The Day A Car Accident Made Me Realize I Was A Douchebag

April 29, 2018 By Christine 1 Comment

You know how sometimes Life tries to quietly teach you a lesson and you ignore it?  And then Life tries a little louder to teach you that lesson and you swat it away like an annoying fly?  And THEN Life yells REALLY REALLY loudly and gets all up in your business and you get all […]

Filed Under: Behind Closed Doors, Parenting Is Hard Enough, Parenting My Way Tagged With: accident, brick wall

Motherhood Has Made Falling Down A Lot Less Fun

September 4, 2017 By Christine 6 Comments

Sneakers on yellow line

I’m no stranger to falling down and, as my friends will tell you, I have a long history of tripping, losing my footing, and face planting, usually in an epic fashion. In fact, my fall down a hill of frozen mud one early morning in college is a story my college roommates love to recount […]

Filed Under: Parenting Is Hard Enough

Hey, Moms? We Don’t Have To Fight With Each Other

June 17, 2017 By Christine 6 Comments

There’s a battle raging in this country, people. And it’s serious. Serious as a heart attack. No, it doesn’t involve Congress and it does not involve Mexican cartels and the drug trade.  It has nothing to do with guns on the streets or with organic, genetically perfect foods. Nor does it have to do with […]

Filed Under: Parenting Is Hard Enough, Parenting My Way Tagged With: mean moms, moms, swords

That Time A Shih Tzu Came To Live With Me

January 16, 2017 By Christine 4 Comments

For my entire life, I was sure of a lot of things. I was sure I’d grow up and become a nurse and I was certain that I’d travel as much as I possibly could. I was certain there was nothing better than wool socks on a hardwood floor on a winter day and that […]

Filed Under: Parenting Is Hard Enough

On Letting Your Friends Down (Or: The Day I Realized I Was To Blame, Too)

November 14, 2016 By Christine 7 Comments

On letting your friends down

I published this piece in the days after the 2016 Presidential Election. As we approach the midterm elections, I am reminded of the friends I lost over political debates and have kept those losses close to my heart. This election season, I am going to do my best to debate with my opposite aisle friends, […]

Filed Under: Parenting Is Hard Enough

The 8 Moms You’ll Meet At The Pool This Summer

July 18, 2016 By Christine 3 Comments

Woman on raft in red bikini in pool

Summer is here which means we are all knee deep in camps, summer reading lists and generalized boredom by about ten in the morning. On the first day of summer vacation, I always have the best of intentions. Really, I do. We will go to the beach! We will see all the museums! We will go to […]

Filed Under: Parenting Is Hard Enough, Parenting My Way Tagged With: moms, pools, summer

Five Things That Annoy Moms At The Grocery Store

May 16, 2016 By Christine 9 Comments

Last week, I posted this update on my Facebook page about grocery shopping:   And I was overwhelmed by how many of you commented that I’m not the only one who has a borderline psychosis about how I do my grocery shopping.  I was both amused and appalled at what a group of weirdos we […]

Filed Under: Parenting Is Hard Enough, Parenting My Way Tagged With: grocery shopping

The Seven Moms In A Group Text

April 28, 2016 By Christine Leave a Comment

If you have kids in the modern age of parenting, chances are, you’ve participated in at least one group text.  Whether it’s coordinating a play date, a Ladies’ Night Out or organizing a complicated carpool routine, texting takes on a whole new level of hell when you have multiple people expressing opinions.  And, often, the […]

Filed Under: Parenting Is Hard Enough, Parenting My Way Tagged With: carpool hell, group texts, moms

Who Is The Keeper Of The Fruit Loops?

March 12, 2016 By Christine 10 Comments

Since it’s looking like after three years, over 100 posts, close to 50 freelance articles AND three essays published in anthologies that this blogging thing might be a regular gig,  I feel compelled to introduce myself to those of you reading (all 400 of you who subscribe…if you are reading and you haven’t subscribed, stop […]

Filed Under: Parenting Is Hard Enough, Parenting My Way, The Keeper News Tagged With: new kid on the blog

Don’t Talk To My Kids About Politics. That’s MY Job.

March 9, 2016 By Christine 12 Comments

On the whole, I’m a good person. Really, I am. I recycle, I pay it forward and I practice random acts of kindness. I smile at strangers, I hold doors open for people and I will even let you merge ahead of me on the highway (though, I do give you the finger if you […]

Filed Under: Parenting Is Hard Enough, Parenting My Way, People Who Suck

Fruit Loop #1’s Five Stages of Mom Fury

February 15, 2016 By Christine 16 Comments

“Mom, I have something I want to discuss with you.  And I don’t want you to say no.  And I want you to hear me out.  And I want you to keep an open mind, okay?”. With these words, Fruit Loop #1 looked at me from the passenger seat of the car with his hazel […]

Filed Under: Parenting Is Hard Enough, Parenting My Way, The Fruit Loops Speak Tagged With: mom fury, opinionated fruit loops, parenting

Don’t Ask Me For My Babysitter’s Name. DON’T.

February 9, 2016 By Christine 3 Comments

I’m a giver. I share better than any three year old. Really. Ask my friends. I give advice (almost never unsolicited), I give fabulous presents and I give of my time like nobody’s business (two words: PTA President). If you need me, I’m there for you, no questions asked. And, if you are one of […]

Filed Under: Parenting Is Hard Enough, Parenting My Way Tagged With: date night, dating, marriage

My Apology: My Tween Can’t Say “I’m Sorry” And It’s My Fault

February 4, 2016 By Christine 1 Comment

Smiling teenage boy in front of car

On a hot summer night last year, you defied me. You begged to be allowed to walk down to an ice cream shop with your younger sister in the small beach town where we were vacationing. “I’m twelve now, Mom,” you pleaded, “almost thirteen. Come on, please?” After a bit of discussion, your father and […]

Filed Under: Parenting Is Hard Enough, Parenting My Way, The Keeper On The Mid

The Day I Realized I Shouldn’t Fix My Tween’s Problems

January 13, 2016 By Christine 6 Comments

Teen reflecting near water

On that warm summer night, as I caught a glimpse of Fruit Loop #1, I knew. He was standing across the yard, holding a plastic plate filled with summer party food and holding a red plastic cup. The sun hit his twelve year old hair in just a way that I could see the blonde […]

Filed Under: Parenting Is Hard Enough, Parenting My Way Tagged With: bullies, mama bear, tweens

Are You Team Toddler or Team Tween?

January 7, 2016 By Christine 5 Comments

Toddler with guitar and leather jacket

When you become a parent, there’s just so much you don’t know. SO. MUCH. And, in those first few years, you wander around deliriously tired, chase after little people who break all of your previously nice things and wonder how exactly every item of clothing you own is covered in spit up. You suffer through […]

Filed Under: Parenting Is Hard Enough, Parenting My Way

Our Parents Had It Easy. And I’m Jealous.

January 5, 2016 By Christine Leave a Comment

The other day, I got the dreaded “Your phone storage is almost full” message and realized it was time to clean up my phone. Read: it was time to play “Press Your Luck” over which apps I could keep, how many photos to delete and just exactly how many text messages were necessary. No whammies, […]

Filed Under: Parenting Is Hard Enough, Parenting My Way Tagged With: back in the day, parenting, what the hell

My Teen Asked Me About A Sex Act While I Was Driving

January 4, 2016 By Christine 62 Comments

Teens and sex

I knew this day would come as I had been warned by those who had gone before me. He’s going to ask someday. She’s going to have questions. You need to get your story straight. You have to be *prepared* because you’ll be caught with your pants down when the Fruit Loops ask about the […]

Filed Under: Parenting Is Hard Enough, Parenting My Way Tagged With: sex, sex talk

It’s Okay If You Screamed At The Kids Before That “Perfect” Photo

December 2, 2015 By Christine Leave a Comment

I met her on a September night in 2008. She had kind eyes and a smile on her small face. I was new at the whole PTA mom thing. She was a seasoned pro, the experienced committee mom. And she made me feel welcomed at my first PTA meeting.  Included. Over the course of the […]

Filed Under: Parenting Is Hard Enough, Parenting My Way Tagged With: dying, smiles

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