If you have kids in the modern age of parenting, chances are, you’ve participated in at least one group text. Whether it’s coordinating a play date, a Ladies’ Night Out or organizing a complicated carpool routine, texting takes on a whole new level of hell when you have multiple people expressing opinions. And, often, the […]
Who Is The Keeper Of The Fruit Loops?
Since it’s looking like after three years, over 100 posts, close to 50 freelance articles AND three essays published in anthologies that this blogging thing might be a regular gig, I feel compelled to introduce myself to those of you reading (all 400 of you who subscribe…if you are reading and you haven’t subscribed, stop […]
Don’t Talk To My Kids About Politics. That’s MY Job.
On the whole, I’m a good person. Really, I am. I recycle, I pay it forward and I practice random acts of kindness. I smile at strangers, I hold doors open for people and I will even let you merge ahead of me on the highway (though, I do give you the finger if you […]
Fruit Loop #1’s Five Stages of Mom Fury
“Mom, I have something I want to discuss with you. And I don’t want you to say no. And I want you to hear me out. And I want you to keep an open mind, okay?”. With these words, Fruit Loop #1 looked at me from the passenger seat of the car with his hazel […]
Don’t Ask Me For My Babysitter’s Name. DON’T.
I’m a giver. I share better than any three year old. Really. Ask my friends. I give advice (almost never unsolicited), I give fabulous presents and I give of my time like nobody’s business (two words: PTA President). If you need me, I’m there for you, no questions asked. And, if you are one of […]
My Apology: My Tween Can’t Say “I’m Sorry” And It’s My Fault
On a hot summer night last year, you defied me. You begged to be allowed to walk down to an ice cream shop with your younger sister in the small beach town where we were vacationing. “I’m twelve now, Mom,” you pleaded, “almost thirteen. Come on, please?” After a bit of discussion, your father and […]
The Day I Realized I Shouldn’t Fix My Tween’s Problems
On that warm summer night, as I caught a glimpse of Fruit Loop #1, I knew. He was standing across the yard, holding a plastic plate filled with summer party food and holding a red plastic cup. The sun hit his twelve year old hair in just a way that I could see the blonde […]
Are You Team Toddler or Team Tween?
When you become a parent, there’s just so much you don’t know. SO. MUCH. And, in those first few years, you wander around deliriously tired, chase after little people who break all of your previously nice things and wonder how exactly every item of clothing you own is covered in spit up. You suffer through […]
Our Parents Had It Easy. And I’m Jealous.
The other day, I got the dreaded “Your phone storage is almost full” message and realized it was time to clean up my phone. Read: it was time to play “Press Your Luck” over which apps I could keep, how many photos to delete and just exactly how many text messages were necessary. No whammies, […]
My Teen Asked Me About A Sex Act While I Was Driving
I knew this day would come as I had been warned by those who had gone before me. He’s going to ask someday. She’s going to have questions. You need to get your story straight. You have to be *prepared* because you’ll be caught with your pants down when the Fruit Loops ask about the […]
It’s Okay If You Screamed At The Kids Before That “Perfect” Photo
I met her on a September night in 2008. She had kind eyes and a smile on her small face. I was new at the whole PTA mom thing. She was a seasoned pro, the experienced committee mom. And she made me feel welcomed at my first PTA meeting. Included. Over the course of the […]
Musings From A Sleep Dictator
I am a member of the Today Show’s Parenting team (I don’t want to brag buuuuuuuuut, I’m a TOP CONTRIBUTOR, thankyouverymuch) and this month, they challenged us to discuss a topic near and dear to my heart: Sleep Training. Specifically, they asked us to give tips from our journey to a good night’s sleep. Because […]
Mother-In-Law, My Friend
When a group of women get together, inevitably, complaints will start flying. They will lament about their thighs, crow’s feet and grey hair. They will bitch about toddlers who refuse to use the potty and teenagers who roll their eyes. They will go on and on about husbands who can’t get dishes into the dishwasher […]
The Girl Behind The Make Up
“Mommy, why are you putting that brown stuff on your face?” The question comes from Fruit Loop #2 as she sits on the counter of the bathroom, watching me get ready for an evening out with Hubby. I am applying foundation to the lines, wrinkles, and blemishes to my forty-year-old face. I am expertly coloring in […]
Come On, Get Happy
This month, the Today Parenting Team challenged me to write about what makes me happy as a mother and to define the strategies I use daily to find every day joy in the chaos of parenthood. As I thought about this topic and ruminated on what really makes me truly happy, I realized that, for […]
Slow Parenting
A few months ago, I posted a photo on my Instagram account of Fruit Loop #2 sitting by a river, skipping rocks. It was a beautiful evening, Spring at it’s finest; complete with a setting sun shading the sky a lovely shade of amber. As we sat by that river, after having taken a three-mile […]
Gin and Tonic With A Twist of LYME Disease
When school got out for the summer, I had visions of beaches, long summer nights around the fire pit with friends and road trips. I was eager for the slower paced days and catching up on all the books collecting dust on my night stand. No lunches to pack, no homework to check, no screaming […]
School Daze: 13 Tips For Back To School Success (The Keeper On Today)
As many of you know, I am a regular contributor to the Today Show’s Parenting Community. This month, the Featured Challenge is “Back To School Advice, Pay It Forward Style”. I was asked to write a piece with advice for moms and dads with children younger than mine. Here’s the piece, as it appears on […]