When I was in college, I fell in love with a guy named Hootie. And yes, back then, country music mega star Darius Rucker was known as Hootie, and yes, I realize that I’m showing my age when I call him Hootie. On any given day in my dorm room circa mid 1990s, the sounds […]
I Parent My Teens Through The Lens of Grieving. And It Sucks.
My teenaged son walked in the door from school and I caught a glimpse of my father. It was fleeting, lasting only milliseconds, but for a tiny moment in time, I could see the way my father’s features had melded with my son’s. And, as it happens during those moments, my heart broke a little […]
When Cancer Came To My Family, The Hidden Stresses Were Surprising
I was compensated by Med-IQ through educational grants from AbbVie, Astellas, and Genentech to write about managing distress for cancer patients and their caregivers. All opinions are my own. When my phone buzzed in my pocket, I was filing papers on a brisk January morning. I smiled when I saw my Dad’s number pop up on my […]
My Father Died And My Kids Had Questions I Wasn’t Prepared To Answer
It is often said that to really experience life, you should see it through the eyes of a child. Never is that more true than when there is a death in the family. On October 4, 2012, my father passed away expectedly unexpectedly. He had been battling esophageal cancer for 9 months and while doing […]
Four Words That Helped My Find My Faith Again
My father died unexpectedly in October 2012 and, in the days that followed his death, I wandered around in a fog. I went through the motions of helping my family arrange his funeral and I did what I could to put my grief aside to help the Fruit Loops manage their shock and hurt. I […]
The Day I Listened To The Voices In My Head
I can still see her as she barreled in the door on a bright Fall day, ponytails swishing, a jumbled mass of pink, mismatched stripes and costume jewelry. She was fresh out of school and had sprinted the entire way home without breaking a sweat. As she did every single day, she burst into the […]
The Day I Met Tom Brokaw. Sort of.
When I was eight years old, my dad asked me if I wanted to skip school for the day and tag along on some of his business calls in New York City. My eight year old ears could barely believe what they were hearing: I’d always heard about the mysterious New York City and I couldn’t […]
The Call
The Call comes when you are wearing a smart denim dress and totes adorbs leopard shoes, while you are sipping the pumpkin coffee you grabbed on the way to work. Your father had a bad night. We are taking him to the hospital now. I’ll keep you posted. The Call comes when your Hubby is […]
ApPARENT Loss
In the last six months, I’ve had seven friends lose their mothers unexpectedly, the most recent of which was this past Friday. Seven friends. That boils down to *almost* once a month since the beginning of the year that I’ve gotten a phone call that a friend is in crisis. Seven close friends who have […]
Road Trips Were Different When I Was A Teen And I’m Grateful
My dad loved a good road trip. When I was young, he’d spend months planning cross country trips for us to take every July. Since this was in the era before smart phones, Expedia.com and Google, he’d plan every trip with an actual map, usually on the john. He’d collect articles during the year of […]
DYING LAUGHING
When you lose a loved one, the funeral process is, at best, bewildering, exhausting and eye opening. You literally go from having had a conversation with your loved one the day before to deciding how many people you need to feed at a meal after the funeral service in a matter of hours. You make […]
Love Is Courtesy Flushes And Toddlers Who Vomit (Screw You, Hallmark)
One of the many endearing gestures my dad used to do for my mom involved Love Is cartoons. For those of you who aren’t familiar, these cartoons appeared in newspapers across the country and featured two cute, cupid style lovers and a sentimental phrase underneath. My dad used to leave them for my mom, particularly […]
The 8 Simple Rules My Dad Taught Me Before He Died
My father was a piece of work. He was kind and he had a scathing tongue. He was thoughtful and he never forgot a transgression. He had the memory of an elephant yet could never understand Facebook. He lived in Texas with a thick, unapologetic Boston accent and he was a Yankee in a sea of […]
Four Burkes and A Funeral
It is often said that to really experience life, you should see it through the eyes of a child. Never is that more true than when there is a death in the family. On October 4, 2012, my father passed away expectedly unexpectedly, if that makes sense. He had been battling esophageal cancer for 9 […]