Keeper of The Fruit Loops

Musings on a Pandemic and Where The Hell I’ve Been for 6 Months

July 19, 2020
Pandemic musings

Welp, it’s been a hot minute since I’ve graced this site with new content. Six whole months, in fact. <throws side eye to the global pandemic>

Back in December 2019, I had big plans to hit the ground running in 2020. I was going to write all the blogs! I was going to say all the funny lines! I was going to go viral with my wit and charm!

And then January rolled around and said, “Stay adorable, I have other plans for you.”

A breast cancer health scare sidetracked my plans and I was gripped with writer’s block for the first time in my career. And, let’s face it: there’s nothing funny about facing your mortality at the ripe old age of 45. Well, except for the actual process of going for a mammogram because I won’t even let Hubby do what those techs did to my ta-tas in that exam room but I digress.

The point is that it took me a while to get past the introspection that comes with realizing that the month long scare actually turned out okay. My boobs are fine, thankyouverymuch for asking. (Though, I have one friend who was a tiny bit disappointed to hear things were all clear because he’d become accustomed to asking me how my “tit shit” was going.)

February rolled around and I was ready. I was going to write all the blogs! I was going to say all the funny lines! I was going to go viral with my wit and charm!

And then the whispers came.

“A virus out of China.”

“There’s no vaccine and it’s highly contagious. It could become a pandemic.”

“Why did they have to go and name it after the beer I love with a twist of lime?”

COVID-19 showed up and said, “Aw, January Christine, you were so adorable back then. Here, hold my Corona. Imma just take over now, kthanksbye.”

And you know the rest: school was cancelled “for the foreseeable future.” Non-essential businesses were closed “for the foreseeable future.” Companies sent their employees to work from home “for the foreseeable future.”

The “foreseeable future” started to feel like “forever and always.”

Our life shut down March 13, 2020. 129 days ago, our life became unrecognizable. Social distancing. Masks. Death counts. Long nights of quarantine boredom.

If I thought my funny bone was broken in January, it was all but crushed under the weight of a global pandemic.

Don’t get me wrong: I’m still writing for the sites that have been able to keep me employed as the world turned into the dumpster fire we see today.

I just couldn’t write here.

I’d sit at my laptop, waiting for the funny to come. I’d stare at the cursor, hoping that I could stir up a hilarious story that would take my readers away from the hell that quarantine life brought to our daily grind. But, the heartache of watching friends navigate unemployment, the stress of worrying about keeping our family as safe as possible, and trying to keep up with the demands of my social media managing business in the midst of working from home in a pandemic sucked the life right out of my writing.

There’s a line in the Sex and The City movie where, after a devastating break up, Carrie Bradshaw asks her best friend Miranda Hobbs if she’ll ever laugh again. And Miranda candidly says, “Yes. When something is really, really funny.” Eventually, Carrie does laugh and, not to spoil things, but that scene is really, really funny.

My life, like yours, over the last 6 months hasn’t been the least bit funny. Or, more specifically, life has had pockets of funny moments here and there, but 2020 has changed us all.

And while the jokes may not be flowing, I’m starting to see (and feel) joy again. I’m realizing what’s important in my daily life and how much I can live without. My circle of friends has become smaller but tighter. I’ve let go of the pain that comes with being estranged from family members.

Most of all, I’ve realized I still have words to write. I still have moments I want to share with you, in hopes that you see your pandemic world in mine, even if just for a few minutes.

So, I’m back.


And I hope you are ready to read again.

I’ve missed you.

Did you know I write all over the web? Check out my stories on Your TeenHerMoney, and The Girlfriend!


2 Responses

  1. I can relate to your cancer scare, but mine was positive. Your mind goes mute because you’re trying NOT to think. Happily after many radiation treatments, I can say I’m cancer free for 10 years. But the fear still is niggling n my brain.
    Stay strong, but be watchful.
    Glad you’re back. ❤️

  2. I actually started doing fun videos from my closet, and it was a hit! Then George Floyd was murdered. A week later one of my son’s best friends died in a canoe accident at 18 years old. I couldn’t find funny. About 7 weeks later, my first garden ever (thanks covid for making me believe I was Martha Stewart) was crazy, and i was able to laugh. It’s hard when you’re known for being the funny one. But rest assured, time bring humor! Thank Baby Jesus!

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