Keeper of the Fruit Loops

I am The Keeper of The Fruit Loops, Manager of the Fecal Roster and the Driver of the People Mover. In other words, I'm a mom.

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You are here: Home / Parenting Is Hard Enough / Hey, Moms? We Don’t Have To Fight With Each Other

Hey, Moms? We Don’t Have To Fight With Each Other

June 17, 2017 By Christine 6 Comments

There’s a battle raging in this country, people.

And it’s serious. Serious as a heart attack.

No, it doesn’t involve Congress and it does not involve Mexican cartels and the drug trade.  It has nothing to do with guns on the streets or with organic, genetically perfect foods. Nor does it have to do with sports teams who bully, taxation without representation or about who is going to win Blogger Idol. It’s an insidious, mean spirited, down and dirty battle and it ain’t pretty.  And, though the battle lines were drawn decades ago and the fighting has been strong, no winner has yet prevailed.

The battle of which I speak is between the Stay At Home Moms (SAHM) and the Work Outside The Home Moms (WOHMs).

For the record, I am mostly a Stay At Home Mom.

By “mostly”, I mean that while yes, I have this blogging gig and yes, I have my part time career as a nurse, on the whole, my main job is keeping the Fruit Loops from completely spilling out of the box. On most days, I am the Manager of the Fecal Roster and the Driver of The People Mover.

One of my least favorite comments from people when they hear that I’m mostly a SAHM is “What in the world do you DO all day?!” Usually, the comment is fraught with snark and delivered in a tone that says “What’s it REALLY like to watch Real Housewives and paint your toes all day long?”

When I’m asked this question, I find myself acting like a contestant on Jeopardy who just can’t quite come up with the answer before the buzzer. I get sweaty and I start clicking my key fob incessantly hoping that Alex Trebeck will call my name. Uhm, Alex, I’ll take “What Does She Do All Day?” for $200 and I’ll give my answer in the form of a question:  “What is I am in perpetual motion from sunrise to sundown, have a basic needs crisis pretty much every day at 330p, and am mostly successful at the avoidance of expletives in front of the Fruit Loops?”

What’s interesting about my answer above to “What Do You DO All Day?” is that it’s probably the very same answer that a WOHM mom would give. Perpetual motion. Basic needs crisis. Avoidance of expletives. Isn’t that what ALL moms do all day, every day?  Why does it matter where we do these things that moms do? Why does it matter where I work during the day or how I manage the life I’ve chosen for my family?  Can’t we all just get along?

In the interest of Mommy harmony, I am raising a white surrender flag.

I am issuing a battle cry to all my comrades in Mommyhood to lay down the swords. Stop the fight. Surrender.  Just knock it the hell off or you are going to bed without dessert. I said STOP IT. Don’t you roll your eyes at me, young lady…..

Let’s all agree to the following:  as mothers, we all have something unique to give to those around us. To our kids. To our significant others. To EACH OTHER.  By definition, mothers take care of those around them.

Why, in the name of Erma Bombeck and all that is holy, do we not take care of each other?

I want to learn from the WOHM who has a corporate job and knows about conflict resolution so that the next time I’m treated poorly at PTA meeting, I’ll know what to do.

I want to share the shortcuts I’ve learned along the way for making pie crust that might change a WOHM’s perspective on homemade pie.

I want to learn budgeting techniques from my accountant friend and share my thoughts on nap time with her. I want moms everywhere to openly accept that being a mom is just plain hard and we only make it harder on each other when we battle over who is doing it better.

Because the truth is this:  we are all good at being moms most of the time.

Day in and day out, we all wake up and take the same sip of coffee as we mull over school projects, work objectives, Caillou, and train commutes.  We all worry that our kids will need therapy when we use our Outside Voices with asshole lips to get our point across. We all love those tiny, sweet moments when we feel the softness of a child’s hand in our own and all worry that we aren’t loving our kids enough. How we get to the end of our day should have no bearing on whether or not we are nice to another mom.

What matters is that we are all in this together. Stop judging, put your sword down and come on over for a glass of wine. I have a great pie recipe to share…..

swords

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Filed Under: Parenting Is Hard Enough, Parenting My Way Tagged With: mean moms, moms, swords

Comments

  1. Whoa! Susannah (Formerly Write, Rinse, Repeat) says

    November 7, 2013 at 10:02 pm

    Outside voices with asshole lips. Perfection.

    Reply
    • Christine Burke says

      November 7, 2013 at 10:05 pm

      Honestly, I just did a little happy dance that you called one of my sentences “perfection”. Made my day. In fact, I probably won’t have to use my asshole lips tonight at bedtime because of it!

      Reply
  2. Marian McDevitt says

    November 7, 2013 at 11:59 pm

    Wow!!! I couldn’t have said it better myself!!! Love this and it is by far one of your best!! Love and hugs , your MOM and former “Stay at Home Mom”!!!!

    Reply
    • Christine Burke says

      November 16, 2013 at 4:36 pm

      Aww, thanks Mom….but you have to say that, don’t you? LOL

      Reply
  3. Kathy Radigan says

    February 24, 2015 at 3:10 pm

    Amen and yes!!!!!!

    Reply

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Nurse. Wife. Mom. Runner. Blogger. Writer. Raiser of money for @stjude. #keeperofthefruitloops

Instagram post 2185154481062659796_177938362 Thursday. We eat on THURSDAY, kids. #thanksgivinghumor #thanksgivingdinner #thanksgiving🦃 #thanksgiving2019🍁🍂 #momhumor #momlife #momtruths #lifewithteens #parentingteens #keeperofthefruitloops
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Instagram post 2172208339851812813_177938362 And he’s always holding a cup of coffee. Or tea. Bring. On. The. Christmas. Movies. 🧔🏻☕️🎄🎅🏼@hallmark @kissesfromboys #themostwonderfultimeoftheyear #christmasiscoming #christmasseason #hallmarkchristmasmovies #hallmarkmovies #dontjudge #hallmarkmoviesmakemehappy
Instagram post 2168257245068944462_177938362 When it comes to technology, I'm a fairly independent mom.
I know how to find my iCloud.
I (mostly) remember my passwords.
I can operate the 86 remotes my husband has hooked up to our sound system/tv.
But, the other day was just one of those "Why can't we just go back to a Walkman and a cassette?" kind of days.
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I wanted to listen to music on the treadmill but basically, the entire universe was telling me to just take several seats and eat Halloween candy instead.
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And called in the big guns: my teen.
In a matter of minutes, he had troubleshooted and brainstormed a solution.
There were extension cords, blue tooth devices, and several "I got this, Mah" eye rolls but, in the end, he managed to hook me up with his wireless speakers.
Yes, I looked ridiculous but I was READY for my run.
As I hit start, I told him, "Go ahead, hit the sound!"
And he did.
FART SOUNDS FLOODED MY EARS, BITCHACHOS.
As he keeled over laughing, I realized that this is motherhood with teens.
They are helpful, yes.
They also love getting a laugh at their mother's expense, disgusting sounds and all.
Also?
Fart apps remind us that we all have a 12 year old tucked inside us, just waiting for a good laugh. @joe_burke0227 
#lifewithteens #parentingteens #motherhoodunplugged #motherhood #momtruth #momofteens #teensaregross #teensarealsofunny #jokesonmom
Instagram post 2167910397888285871_177938362 I’m gonna getting my shit together any day now. Probably. Maybe. (Thanks for this gem, @xoxsai) #tgif #fridayvibes #fridaynight #motherhoodunplugged #momtruth #momlife #momproblems #parentingmemes #parentinghumor #momhumor #momjokesfordays
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👻🎃😈
Instagram post 2153448486786390354_177938362 Tonight, I sent my son off to Homecoming. Or, HoCo if you are a cool kid.
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Instagram post 2153078872722286589_177938362 This is not a trick question, bitchachos. 🎃Being a teen in 2019 is hard work and our kids experience stresses we couldn’t even fathom back when we were wearing baby doll dresses and swooning over *NSYNC. Life is harder for them and if a teen wants to hold onto their childhood for another year by having some good clean fun in costumes, then I say the more the merrier. And I give out the good candy, too, so if you are hating on teens and Halloween, send them my way. My light will be on allllll night, teens. #halloween🎃 #halloween🎃👻 #lifewithteens #parentingteens #momofteens #parenting #momtruth #parentingunplugged #motherhoodunplugged
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Instagram post 2131996597930919816_177938362 This week, Hubby and I celebrated 20 years of marriage with a  grown ups only trip to NYC.
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Oh, and we touristed in every way.
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And, if you see someone who is struggling, acknowledge them and offer a helping hand.
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Also?
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Instagram post 2124767742570420414_177938362 .....but I'll be the first one to admit when my kids have screwed up. Don't get me wrong: I've always got their backs but, I'm not in the business of raising assholes, people. Do I think raising teens is the best part of parenting? Yes. Will I also call them out for bad behavior and make them own up to their poor choices? Also yes. (Follow @yourteenmag!) #lifewithteens #parentingteens #momofteens #momtruth #motherhoodunplugged #parentingteensishard
Instagram post 2124273829996831194_177938362 Before I had kids, I used a lot of “never” statements:
“I’m never getting a minivan.”
“I’m never getting a dog.”
“I’m never going to watch movies with superheroes, vampires, or creatures that don’t actually exist in reality.”
Welp.
While I have held firm on the minivan thing 💪🏻, I started eating my words a few years ago when a rescue named #daisytheshihtzu changed my life.
And, this summer, I swallowed my words again when I agreed to attend Marvel University with my teens.
Yep.
This mom became a super hero when she agreed to watch 18 Marvel flicks in release order.
Tonight is the finale: I’ve made it to End Game. I’ve done my course work, I’ve gone for tutoring (read: asked 9 thousand times what the hell a #tesseract is and drooled over #thorragnarok), and I’ve been a diligent student and not at all annoying. Ahem.
And the most surprising part?
I’ve loved every minute of my Marvel summer school assignments.
I did not see that coming, bitchachos.
When the kids announced they were in charge of snacks for our big Marvel finale night and they came home with snacks in the colors of the #infinitystones, I realized that you don’t have to wear a cape to be a hero to your kids.
Turns out, you just have to be willing to wear a #captainamerica T shirt every now and again while the dog you said you’d never get silently judges you.
#marvelmom #ididntseethiscoming #marvelmoviemom #marvelmovies #momhero #motherhoodunplugged #momtruth #lifewithteens #momofteens
Instagram post 2119693850103769981_177938362 My tongue has permanent scars from all the times I've bitten it to keep myself from devolving into a teenager around my teens. No, but seriously, I DESERVE A MEDAL, BITCHACHOS. Follow @yourteenmag because they are biting their tongues, too. #lifewithteens #parentingteens #momofteens #bitingmytongueforinfinity
Instagram post 2119212585531104679_177938362 When I sent my first child off to school, I baked a batch of cookies that day to keep my mind off how much my heart hurt seeing him head to kindergarten.
When my youngest left for school, I baked through tears to keep my mind off how quiet the house was that day.
Every year, on the first day of school, they come home to a fresh plate of cookies.
Some years, I bake because I’m anxiously awaiting word that a new school is gonna be just fine.
Other years, I bake to ignore the mess left behind by a summer well summered.
And, some years, I bake because the realization that years are going by too fast is too much and the combination of shortening, butter, and sugar are a salve.
They think I’m doing it for them. Little do they know.....
Today, I sent my son off for his junior year of high school.
This is his second to last first day of school.
Baking always helps. 
And homemade chocolate chip cookies don’t suck, either. ❤️#backtoschool #backtoschool2019 #bakermom #chocolatechipcookies #cookiesmakeeverythingbetter🍪 #momofteens #momofteenagers #momtruth #motherhoodunplugged❤️ #Parenting #baking #bakewithlove
Instagram post 2116036249461581287_177938362 Tuesday night wasn’t special.
It was just a random summer Tuesday and I found myself in NYC overnight for work.
After a full, productive day and with most of my city friends on vacation or with other plans, I found myself with  an evening to myself.
It’s been a long summer with kids and a dog and a “work from home more than he doesn’t” husband underfoot as I’ve juggled my full time freelance life.
It’s been a lot.
But, what there hasn’t been a lot of is ME enjoying a lazy summer evening.
So, rather than retiring to my hotel room to spend several hours logging more work time to get ahead on projects, I laced up and ran out the door.
Before I knew it, I’d run 46 blocks on a hot, sweaty summer evening in the city.
I raced the unsuspecting runners next to me (I won, of course), I dodged bikers, and I smiled at dogs on their evening constitutionals with their owners.
Mostly, I let myself breathe in the feels of summer.
Six exhausting miles later, I detoured through Grand Central Station just to marvel at how pretty that space is, rather than dashing through like I usually do.
As I kicked off my running shoes and sipped the giant beer I treated myself to after a run well done, I promptly knocked over said beer and it soaked my brand new running shoe completely through just as Hubby tried FaceTiming me to see how my day went.
Because that’s what motherhood does to you: you might run away from home but your chaotic life will always be waiting for you when you get home.
So, go for the run.
Take a walk around the block.
Sit in the garage for an extra five before you face the disaster of homework, dinner, and bedtime.
The mess will always be waiting.
But you’ll feel ready to deal with whatever they are throwing at you.
#workingmom #momlife #momtruth #runnermom #momrunner #workingmomproblems #motherhoodunplugged❤️ #keeperofthefruitloops
Instagram post 2114620665150584341_177938362 OMG, I was ALWAYS that kid....and, inevitably, I'd walk into an open locker or a giant upperclass football player would knock me over and then I'd miss the details about how my friends were going to the mall and  I'd have to pretend I heard everything they said while still trying to look cool even though I had a goose egg from walking into a locker while being polite. OMG, HIGH SCHOOL WAS HARD. Please tell me I am not the only one who was awkward AF in high school. (Follow @yourteenmag!) #lifewithteens #parentingteens #momofteens #momtruth #motherhoodunplugged #parentingteensishard #highschoolmemories #highschooldaze #highschool
Instagram post 2109547373351977212_177938362 It really is a fine line with teenagers. Ahem. (Follow @yourteenmag!) #lifewithteens #parentingteens #momofteens #momtruth #motherhoodunplugged #parentingteensishard
Instagram post 2104473837797348126_177938362 So simple, teens. (Follow @yourteenmag!) #lifewithteens #parentingteens #momofteenagers #motherhoodunplugged #teenagersarehard #momtruth
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