“Mommy, why are you putting that brown stuff on your face?” The question comes from Fruit Loop #2 as she sits on the counter of the bathroom, watching me get ready for an evening out with Hubby. I am applying foundation to the lines, wrinkles, and blemishes to my forty-year-old face. I am expertly coloring in […]
Social Death By Chocolate
Let’s face it: we all know by now that I like to have a good time. I might have even paid my college roommates large quantities of money to keep their traps shut about our escapades and I thank GAWD every day that Facebook didn’t exist when I was a coed. Frankly, between you and me, I […]
Come On, Get Happy
This month, the Today Parenting Team challenged me to write about what makes me happy as a mother and to define the strategies I use daily to find every day joy in the chaos of parenthood. As I thought about this topic and ruminated on what really makes me truly happy, I realized that, for […]
Slow Parenting
A few months ago, I posted a photo on my Instagram account of Fruit Loop #2 sitting by a river, skipping rocks. It was a beautiful evening, Spring at it’s finest; complete with a setting sun shading the sky a lovely shade of amber. As we sat by that river, after having taken a three-mile […]
The Amazing Road Trip Race
Back in June, I floated a somewhat outrageous idea to Hubby: I wanted to drive the Fruit Loops to Texas to visit my mom in August. Yes, drive. 1600 miles one way. In a car. With two kids in tow. Alone. He took one look at me, raised his eyebrow and said, “You’re crazy”. And, […]
Gin and Tonic With A Twist of LYME Disease
When school got out for the summer, I had visions of beaches, long summer nights around the fire pit with friends and road trips. I was eager for the slower paced days and catching up on all the books collecting dust on my night stand. No lunches to pack, no homework to check, no screaming […]
School Daze: 13 Tips For Back To School Success (The Keeper On Today)
As many of you know, I am a regular contributor to the Today Show’s Parenting Community. This month, the Featured Challenge is “Back To School Advice, Pay It Forward Style”. I was asked to write a piece with advice for moms and dads with children younger than mine. Here’s the piece, as it appears on […]
I Miss The Noise and It’s Too Quiet
Today, when our eyes met in the aisle, my heart ached. I sighed to myself and realized I miss you. Well, not the actual you because, until today, we’ve never met. I miss the you that you are right now. The you that I am no longer. As you pushed your red cart containing your […]
I Talk Early And Often To The Fruit Loops About Alcohol
I’m just going to say it out loud: I’m a good time at parties. A gooooood time, I tell you, and my friends will all willingly recount at least three stories that involve me, a party and adult beverages. Okay, probably five stories each and those who attended my 40th birthday party last Fall all […]
“Wine Not Time!”
Have you ever committed a crime? Like an *actual* one? Wait. Don’t answer that because I think plausible deniability would work in my favor if anyone ever asked me about your answer. I am pleased to say that I haven’t been in the Big House…yet. But I can imagine a scenario in which I would […]
Enjoying Summer Time Can Be Easy….Sort Of
Summer is here. We are a week into summer vacation and already, I’ve heard the words “I’m bored” and “There’s nothing to doooooooo” and, my personal favorite, “There’s nothing gooooood to eat in the pantry”. Yep. Summer with kids is AWESOME. And HARD. It’s hard to keep them busy, it’s hard to find time to […]
Tales of A Fifth Grade Nothing
While on a recent trip to the beach, I observed Fruit Loop #2 happily playing with her best friend. They spent an entire day building sand castles, jumping waves and doing all the things you do with your bestie when you are nine years old. They told secrets, they giggled, they wore their bathing suits […]
The Day I Met Tom Brokaw. Sort of.
When I was eight years old, my dad asked me if I wanted to skip school for the day and tag along on some of his business calls in New York City. My eight year old ears could barely believe what they were hearing: I’d always heard about the mysterious New York City and I couldn’t […]
Home Sweet Home
Hubby and I, on the general, don’t argue much. Strike that. We argue all the time. We have tiffs, we have eye rolling, we have snippy moments where I call him a jackass and he gets annoyed. Occasionally, there’s even a door slam. But, for the most part, we don’t argue so vociferously that one […]
This Is Nursing
In September 1995, I sat on my parents’ bed and cried. Hard. I begged them to let me come home from college, to let me quit my nursing courses. I cried because the schedule was rigorous, the professors demanded excellence that I feared I didn’t have and because I had to take Physics. Physics, […]
Listen To The Keeper
Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve wanted to be on stage. In fact, when I starred in the critically acclaimed play “The Little White Rabbit Who Wanted Red Wings” at the age of six, a star was born. As I hopped around my elementary school stage, my parents tell me they realized they […]
Just Sleep, Dammit!
There are few things that will drive a new mother over the edge like sleep deprivation. The days where you wake up exhausted, nauseous and convinced you will never sleep again in the history of ever drive yoga pants clad moms all across this nation to the brink of insanity. Everyone always seems to have […]
Thanks for the Mammories
I am a graduate of the University of “My Boobs Fed A Human” and hold a Bachelor’s Degree in Breast Feeding. In order to graduate, I had to enroll in classes such as “Breast Pump 101” and “Your Breast and You: How Not To Get Eaten Alive By A Small Human”. There were all nighters […]
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