Pink is my favorite color. Really, it is. Anyone who knows me well knows that if I have a color choice, imma pick pink every day and twice on Sunday. I’m not sure if it makes me feel feminine or if it’s just way for me to show off my personality but I’m all about […]
A Chick Can Buy A Car Without A Dude. Really.
A few weeks ago, I got into a huge argument. There was yelling. Loud yelling, in fact. There were wild gesticulations. Eyes were rolled, fingers were pointed and the argument culminated in my opponent yelling, “Kiddo, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?? You were so much nicer yesterday!!!!”. Now, one would think this argument happened between […]
Don’t Talk To My Kids About Politics. That’s MY Job.
On the whole, I’m a good person. Really, I am. I recycle, I pay it forward and I practice random acts of kindness. I smile at strangers, I hold doors open for people and I will even let you merge ahead of me on the highway (though, I do give you the finger if you […]
7 People From Hell At The Holidays
The holidays are HERE. We are in the trenches. We are hall decking. We are cookie baking. We are loading our eggnogs with massive quantities of booze. With every shot of spiced rum, we are bracing ourselves, steeling ourselves against the inevitable. Because on top of the present wrapping, the light stringing and the carol […]
Tales of A Fifth Grade Nothing
While on a recent trip to the beach, I observed Fruit Loop #2 happily playing with her best friend. They spent an entire day building sand castles, jumping waves and doing all the things you do with your bestie when you are nine years old. They told secrets, they giggled, they wore their bathing suits […]
Gossip Girls
As you walk into the cafeteria, your stomach lurches a little. You look around at the groups of girls and a familiar fear fills your stomach. “Will the cool girls let me sit with them today?” You scan the room and see girls chatting, laughing and looking over at you as you walk in the […]
Scrooges SUCK
I don’t write about religion. Because religion. But I’m going to today. Sort of. Not in a preachy way. Not in a argumentative way. No preaching, no prosthelyzing, no snakes. Religion is part of the story but it’s not THE story. So, if you are of a religious conviction different than mine, I respect you. […]
The Day I Didn’t Meet Oprah
It was 2007. Hubby and I were at a conference in Chicago. Read: HUBBY was conferencing. I, on the other hand, was indulging myself on the Miracle Mile, taking in the sights and basically misbehaving during the day until Hubby came back from learning stuff for his job. And, of course, I was looking for […]
The Question That Shall Not Be Asked
There’s a nasty little joke that runs rampant through hospital halls faster than a case of MRSA: Q: “What’s the difference between a day shift nurse and a night shift nurse?” A: “About 30 pounds” Lemme tell you: I became the butt of THAT joke pretty damned quickly after my first year of working night shift. […]
Mom Bullies Suck
We talk a lot about bullying these days. A lot.< Mostly, in relation to kids and teenagers. We hear stories everyday about kids who are tormented by their peers for everything from their shoes to their sexual orientation to the type of house their parents own. Bullying itself is not new. Not by a long […]
Muppets Gone Wrong. Very Wrong.
I freely admit that, on a regular basis, I can manage to rub someone the wrong way. I’m not always everyone’s cup of tea, sense of humor or favorite color and I’m okay with that. I gave up a long time ago trying to be someone I’m not and I’m pretty pleased with who I’ve […]
Mean Moms Suck
If you are a Mean Mom, you can leave this page right now. Right. Now. Because, I’m about to give Mean Moms a good old fashioned, much deserved, you’ve had it coming for years, tongue lashing. Good. They’re gone. Now I can talk about them. Behind their backs. Like they do to me. And you. […]
That Time I Didn’t Put My Grocery Cart Away But I Had A Good Reason
A month after my father died, I had a class A, megawatt, DEF-CON 5 meltdown in the pasta aisle because for some strange reason, penne pasta lead me to think of my dad. The meltdown necessitated a 10 minute phone call in said pasta aisle to my best friend who had the impossible task of […]