As a parent, you pride yourself on the the little things: getting through an hour without a toddler tantrum, managing to get a shower with minions underfoot and remembering to change your breast milk stained shirt at least every other day. You also pride yourself on the BIG things: keeping those minions alive all day, […]
Secrets of A Potty Training Mom
If you ask a group of moms what they dislike most about parenting, the answers will be varied. Some will say temper tantrums, eye rolling or Disney channel programming. Others will scoff at the the early mornings, diaper changes at 2 am and never ending loads of laundry. You will hear sorry tales of ignored […]
Confessions from the Bunny Slope
On the whole, I consider myself to be pretty brave. I’ve worked night shift in an inner-city hospital. I’ve had my wisdom teeth removed, two C Sections and have cleaned up kid vomit with nary a gag. I’ve survived the grocery store on the day before Thanksgiving 10 years running (not for the faint of […]
A Mother’s Resolution
It’s that time of year. The time of year where everyone declares everything they will do better in 2015. The time of year when people decide they are going to “Get fit!” and “Eat less!” and “Write a book!”. They blab about it on Facebook and people everywhere are declaring 2015 will be the year […]
Wait. It Ends?
When you make the decision to stay at home with your children, it’s a BIG deal. There are lots of factors: finances, your ability to spend twelve hours at a time with people under three feet tall and the national coffee supply. You wrestle with your ability to be the sole caregiver, your need for […]
Neighborhood Watch
When you work outside the home, you have an office. A place of business. A location filled with people and security guards. You have lots of eyes around to make sure your surroundings are safe and secure. There are codes. And badges. And mean secretaries to keep the riffraff out. As a mostly SAHM, my […]
Like Mother, My Daughter
Nine years ago, a doctor handed me a pink bundle and said, “She’s yours”. And while it wasn’t said out loud, I’m pretty sure the “Don’t screw her up” was implied. I could swear I heard it, though. Since the day that pink bundle was resting on my C section scar, the weight and enormity […]
The Volunteer Pledge
It’s that time again. The time of year when parents start humming “It’s The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year”, when Staples sells pencils for $0.06 and you can hear the collective groan of suntanned, sleep deprived children across the country. The time of year when parents practically skip to the mailbox to find teacher […]
Loops And Tents and Bears, Oh My!
I loathe camping. This is not a new revelation and we know Laura Ingalls, I Am Not. The Fruit Loops, however, love camping. No, scratch that. They luuuurve camping. This presents a major issue in the summer weather during prime “sleep outside under the stars, next to mosquitos, bears, rabbits and other outdoor fauna while […]
A Selfish Mom
I think I might be a selfish mom. Scratch that. I know that I’m a selfish mom. I know this because, last night, when it came to dessert, I took the biggest bowl of ice cream for myself. And I didn’t give it to my husband. Or the Fruit Loops. I took it for me. […]
What I Know Now
When we brought Fruit Loop #1 home, I knew NOTHING about motherhood. Zip. Zero. Zilch. Alright, maybe not NOTHING necessarily. I knew some stuff about motherhood: about how MY mom was a mom to ME. How MY mother in law was a mother figure in MY life. I had aunts who doted on ME, […]
The Day I Broke The Baby Monitor
Having a child come into your life is like having Toys R Us, the baby section of Target and the entire baby food section of your grocery store dump their items right into your family room. There are onesies (how can one baby need 93 onesies?), containment items, (exersaucers, bouncy seats, swings, pack and plays, […]
The Post Cesarean Section Poop Is HELL.
As most moms will tell you, pregnancy is awesome exactly TWO times: BEFORE you actually get knocked up and AFTER the pea is no longer in the pod. The during part of pregnancy is no walk in the park and I’m not going to bore you with the list of ailments, maladies, situations and hemorrhoids […]
Becoming THAT Mom
A few nights ago, I had a phone conversation with my bestie in a darkened parking lot and it went something like this: Me: “Would you believe I’m sitting in a parking lot killing time between activities while Fruit Loop #2 eats a reheated dinner from two nights ago in the back seat?” Her: […]
My Favorite Thing
While listening to Carrie Underwood sing “My Favorite Things” during the Sound of Music Redeux debacle, I got to thinking about my favorite things. Of course, I thought of the obvious, “you have to pick these things or they take away your mommy card” favorite things: coffee, Downton Abbey, my Fruit Loops, every one of […]
Lay Down The Swords
There’s a battle raging in this country, people. And it’s serious. Serious as a heart attack. No, it doesn’t involve Congress and it does not involve Mexican cartels and the drug trade. It has nothing to do with guns on the streets or with organic, genetically perfect foods. Nor does it have to do with […]
Laura Ingalls I Am Not (Or: 5 Reasons I Hate Camping)
Growing up, I used to watch Little House on the Prairie and dream of being Laura Ingalls Wilder. She was the only girl I knew who had her own horse, got to use an outhouse and spent her days fishing in creeks. She had adventure after adventure in that little house by Plum Creek and […]
10 Things Other Mothers Won’t Tell You…But I Will
When I joined the ranks of Mommyhood 10 years ago, I was blindsided by the truths that become glaringly apparent the day you join the club. And, as these truths became more evident, I sometimes felt like the other mothers who already knew them were giggling at me next to their lockers and whispering behind […]