When I was a new mom in 2003, I had the luxury of being able to stay home full time with my son when he arrived. Before he came, I envisioned long afternoons of cuddling and bonding, making gourmet meals for my husband and catching up on all of the books on my night stand […]
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I Had The Birds And The Bees Talk With My Son And It Was Awkward AF
As a parent, there are a few moments that stop you in your tracks and make you want to run screaming from the room: the first time you realize your toddler can reach the top of the stairs in under three seconds, the first time you hear a swear word out of one of your […]
We May Have Kids But Our Marriage Was Here First
Scene: the dinner table, a few years ago. Fruit Loop #2: “How do you KNOW that you should marry a person?” Fruit Loop #1: “When you meet the right person, a spark happens. Then you have to nurture the spark so it becomes a flame and then eventually a bonfire across your marriage. And wick size […]
When Your Bowels Are A Mess, Your Whole Life Goes Down The Drain. Literally.
I was compensated by Med-IQ through an educational grant from Takeda Pharmaceuticals U.S.A., Inc. to write about the signs and symptoms of inflammatory bowel disease. All my opinions are my own. The minute I woke up, I knew I was in trouble. Or, more specifically: I knew my bowels were about to betray me. And […]
I Signed With A Literary Agent And Found Out My Dog Is A Murderer. On The Same Day.
There are moments in your life where time stops and you remember every single detail. I can remember with vivid clarity the morning the Challenger exploded and the details of 9/11 are seared on my brain. The first time Hubby kissed me. The day my father died. We all have those times where events transpire […]
So, You Want To Start A Blog…
The number one question I get asked as a blogger is how I got started. People are often equal parts amazed and amused to hear that I sort of fell into this gig by accident. Truly, if it weren’t for a friend who recognized my writing skills and some pretty amazing “right place, right time” […]
The Keeper Has A Clothing Line!
So, you know how sometimes you get emails to your inbox and you look at them and immediately decide that they have to be spam because they sound so ridiculous? “You have 2 million dollars waiting for you in an offshore account in the Cayman Islands.” “You have won an all expenses paid cruise to […]
Don’t Talk To My Kids About Politics. That’s MY Job.
On the whole, I’m a good person. Really, I am. I recycle, I pay it forward and I practice random acts of kindness. I smile at strangers, I hold doors open for people and I will even let you merge ahead of me on the highway (though, I do give you the finger if you […]
I Wear A Bikini At 40 And You Should, Too
I am a mom and I have the body to prove it. My boobs are full, I have a C section scar and frankly, I haven’t seen my abs since 2002. I have stretch marks on my thighs, my waist and under my arms (seriously, what is THAT about?). My thighs are like tree trunks […]
My Apology: My Tween Can’t Say “I’m Sorry” And It’s My Fault
On a hot summer night last year, you defied me. You begged to be allowed to walk down to an ice cream shop with your younger sister in the small beach town where we were vacationing. “I’m twelve now, Mom,” you pleaded, “almost thirteen. Come on, please?” After a bit of discussion, your father and […]
7 People From Hell At The Holidays
The holidays are HERE. We are in the trenches. We are hall decking. We are cookie baking. We are loading our eggnogs with massive quantities of booze. With every shot of spiced rum, we are bracing ourselves, steeling ourselves against the inevitable. Because on top of the present wrapping, the light stringing and the carol […]
The Day The Lights Went Out On Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving is a big deal around here. Huge. I plan for months. MONTHS, I tell you. I scour Pinterest for the perfect recipes and I painstakingly keep my meticulous lists from year to year to make sure my menus are varied. I write notes to myself about what appetizers went over well, which dishes had […]
So…..Why Do You Have A Blog?
Everyone always asks me, “What made you decide to start a blog?” And I always answer, “I have no earthly idea”. But, that’s not entirely true. As I kid, I always loved to write and my mom likes to remind me that my writing career started at the age of six when I wrote about […]
Musings From A Sleep Dictator
I am a member of the Today Show’s Parenting team (I don’t want to brag buuuuuuuuut, I’m a TOP CONTRIBUTOR, thankyouverymuch) and this month, they challenged us to discuss a topic near and dear to my heart: Sleep Training. Specifically, they asked us to give tips from our journey to a good night’s sleep. Because […]
Come On, Get Happy
This month, the Today Parenting Team challenged me to write about what makes me happy as a mother and to define the strategies I use daily to find every day joy in the chaos of parenthood. As I thought about this topic and ruminated on what really makes me truly happy, I realized that, for […]
Slow Parenting
A few months ago, I posted a photo on my Instagram account of Fruit Loop #2 sitting by a river, skipping rocks. It was a beautiful evening, Spring at it’s finest; complete with a setting sun shading the sky a lovely shade of amber. As we sat by that river, after having taken a three-mile […]
The Amazing Road Trip Race
Back in June, I floated a somewhat outrageous idea to Hubby: I wanted to drive the Fruit Loops to Texas to visit my mom in August. Yes, drive. 1600 miles one way. In a car. With two kids in tow. Alone. He took one look at me, raised his eyebrow and said, “You’re crazy”. And, […]
School Daze: 13 Tips For Back To School Success (The Keeper On Today)
As many of you know, I am a regular contributor to the Today Show’s Parenting Community. This month, the Featured Challenge is “Back To School Advice, Pay It Forward Style”. I was asked to write a piece with advice for moms and dads with children younger than mine. Here’s the piece, as it appears on […]